I feel so stupid
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So we had the knock 7 weeks ago and it was like a kick in the gut. I never saw my other half for 15 days and his bail meant he was not allowed any contact with anyone under the age of 16 including our 2 children. When I met with him he fed me a story of how it had been a porn addiction that had led him to a very dark place and that he wanted to get help. I supported him getting that help and bought into everything he told me I honestly thought we could come through this.
Then the phone call from the police cane asking me could you identify people in pics. I went into panic mode but he reassured me that this would just be part of the investigation and I reached on on here and what he said was confirmed so I calmed a bit but something in my gut was telling me something bad was coming.
How right I was. Even after all that's happened in the last seven weeks he has continued to lie to me and hide things from me and I'm broken as for the last few years he has been taking completely inappropriate pictures of our daughter as she slept. I also had to identify pictures of family children which have been lifted from Facebook and from what I've been told it looks as though he has shared these pics. My heart is broken for my daughter and I feel sick. I have now cut all contact as I have to protect myself from his manipulation and I need to protect my children.
How could a father do this to their own child he has made me feel like a total failure as a mum our job is to protect our kids but I never thought I had to protect her from her own dad.
Then the phone call from the police cane asking me could you identify people in pics. I went into panic mode but he reassured me that this would just be part of the investigation and I reached on on here and what he said was confirmed so I calmed a bit but something in my gut was telling me something bad was coming.
How right I was. Even after all that's happened in the last seven weeks he has continued to lie to me and hide things from me and I'm broken as for the last few years he has been taking completely inappropriate pictures of our daughter as she slept. I also had to identify pictures of family children which have been lifted from Facebook and from what I've been told it looks as though he has shared these pics. My heart is broken for my daughter and I feel sick. I have now cut all contact as I have to protect myself from his manipulation and I need to protect my children.
How could a father do this to their own child he has made me feel like a total failure as a mum our job is to protect our kids but I never thought I had to protect her from her own dad.
Please don't feel stupid. I think we all believe what our OH tell us as a form of self protection.
Why would you think that your husband would involve your children? As mothers, protecting our children comes as natural to us as breathing, we expect the same from their fathers.
Your are not stupid x
Why would you think that your husband would involve your children? As mothers, protecting our children comes as natural to us as breathing, we expect the same from their fathers.
Your are not stupid x
You are NOT, a failure or stupid. I remember thinking the exact same thing when i first got the knock (communication). My daughter is so precious to me and I'd die for her as I'm guessing yiu would for your children. I promise none of this is your fault, you had no idea and you trusted him as would anyone. Please reach out to your gp and get you and your daughter some help and counselling. Or call the help line. Not only are you getting through what he's done but also greiving your marriage and you're allowed to do that. It's not gonna be easy but the fact you've posted on here shows strength. We are all here for you sweetheart xx
Hey Struggling,
I'm so sorry this has happened. I don't have any words other than offering my support. It's absolutely not your fault, how is anyone meant to know that those we love are capable of things like this unless we stumble across evidence. I hope you get the support you need. We're all here for you xxx
I'm so sorry this has happened. I don't have any words other than offering my support. It's absolutely not your fault, how is anyone meant to know that those we love are capable of things like this unless we stumble across evidence. I hope you get the support you need. We're all here for you xxx
Thank you all so much I'm meeting with a woman from stop it now soon and she calls me to check in I also have counselling and am in the process of getting my daughter some help I just feel so lost like all the hope I had has gone. I'm so thankful I can come on here and not feel judged so thank you all x
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Oh my, I'm so sorry to hear this. I think I speak for most of us when I say that I think that when it directly involves your own children on the images or communication etc then it definitely puts a completely different spin on it. (I know all children in the pictures are victims, I'm not saying they're not). It just brings is so much closer to home.
For what it's worth, I absolutely think you've taken all the right steps and the steps I would have made too. You need to safeguard your daughter now. As she will now be a direct victim of his crime (not like the offending persons families left behind where we are not classified technically as victims). Then hopefully she will be able to access a wealth of resources, as will you. I hope these have been offered to you and they will help you all heal.
Is she old enough to understand what's gone on? How is she coping?
again I'm just so sorry to hear this, but I think you've been so strong in making these choices xx
For what it's worth, I absolutely think you've taken all the right steps and the steps I would have made too. You need to safeguard your daughter now. As she will now be a direct victim of his crime (not like the offending persons families left behind where we are not classified technically as victims). Then hopefully she will be able to access a wealth of resources, as will you. I hope these have been offered to you and they will help you all heal.
Is she old enough to understand what's gone on? How is she coping?
again I'm just so sorry to hear this, but I think you've been so strong in making these choices xx
It's so desperately hard when the crime is within your family. Feel for you and like the ladies say we are the innocent.