Impact on me on Death of the Queen
Notifications OFF
Feel the need to come on the forum today and share my feelings with those that understand.
I’m over 3 years from the knock, after vigilante sting and livestream, he’s been sentenced and imprisoned and now released on licence. He’s moved on, I’m still in our old life, in our old home, and with our friends around me. We are divorcing, although I supported him until he settled in his flat. He is building his new life with his girlfriend supporting him, he says he never wants to divorce me, but I don’t believe him, I think maybe he wanted to have his cake and eat it. I’m not prepared to support that.
Anyway, my post is to say that I, probably like many of you, have been very triggered by the death of the Queen. I guess because it is another constant in my life that has suddenly ended. The emotional music being played on the radio brings back old happy memories, when I felt so loved and content. I look back at the person I was and wonder what person I will become. I hope that the future holds wonderful things; contentment, happiness, joy, peace, stability. Yes, stability is what I really want, I feel like my world has constantly been changing over the last 3 years. I thought I had it all sorted in my mind, this event has shaken my feelings up again. The complexity of grief!
x
I’m over 3 years from the knock, after vigilante sting and livestream, he’s been sentenced and imprisoned and now released on licence. He’s moved on, I’m still in our old life, in our old home, and with our friends around me. We are divorcing, although I supported him until he settled in his flat. He is building his new life with his girlfriend supporting him, he says he never wants to divorce me, but I don’t believe him, I think maybe he wanted to have his cake and eat it. I’m not prepared to support that.
Anyway, my post is to say that I, probably like many of you, have been very triggered by the death of the Queen. I guess because it is another constant in my life that has suddenly ended. The emotional music being played on the radio brings back old happy memories, when I felt so loved and content. I look back at the person I was and wonder what person I will become. I hope that the future holds wonderful things; contentment, happiness, joy, peace, stability. Yes, stability is what I really want, I feel like my world has constantly been changing over the last 3 years. I thought I had it all sorted in my mind, this event has shaken my feelings up again. The complexity of grief!
x
Tabs
Not so much with the death of the queen, but I can certainly identify with the music being played on the radio. Yesterday on radio 2 I heard Billy Joel's "An innocent man" and the lyrics just finished me off. I found myself identifying so much with the not trusting, the hating, the pushing people away etc. I was in bits. Had to have a quite weep and pull myself together. I'm certainly not the same person I was. I'd like to get back to being that person, but even if I do, I know I'll be scarred.
Not so much with the death of the queen, but I can certainly identify with the music being played on the radio. Yesterday on radio 2 I heard Billy Joel's "An innocent man" and the lyrics just finished me off. I found myself identifying so much with the not trusting, the hating, the pushing people away etc. I was in bits. Had to have a quite weep and pull myself together. I'm certainly not the same person I was. I'd like to get back to being that person, but even if I do, I know I'll be scarred.
Yes, I think because this is a lonely journey I feel like I can grieve for the life I had while the country mournes without having to put on a fake smile and "be happy"
I can really understand wanting stability. Before all of this started I was making some big life changes, now this - I'm craving some stability, but for me I think it'll be many years before I / we truly feel stable. We've over a year over prison still to do and then there will be various phases to life after. How I crave not be unsure how I'll feel next week, or even tomorrow and to be able to make plans. It must be incredibly hard having been with someone so long and so many things sort of being the same but so different.
Post deleted by user
Always good to know that I'm not alone in this, and that you all understand. Even if we handle things differently, have different outcomes, have different focus's, we all share the same shock and sense of grief. xxxx
I feel like the Queen would understand how we all feel in this group as she has dealt with similar with her Son (I know that case is very different) but you get what I mean x.
Hi Tabs,
I'm so sorry you have bee thrown into some turmoil. It's strange how the sudden death of the queen has caused you to feel unsettled. I get it ! Like you say shes been a constant, stable figure in our lives , I'm 63 so a fare few years ! So its all change and there is such a huge out pouring of grief, which undoubtedly will affect us all in varying degrees, whether its due to her death or all the sentiments that are shown/played on the TV/radio.
At times like this our own feelings of grief are hightened and exacerbated and also when individuals seen to be moving forward with their lives , like your husband and when you have supported him so much. Its time for you Tabs! I do hope you feel better soon ! Big hugs
maij x
I'm so sorry you have bee thrown into some turmoil. It's strange how the sudden death of the queen has caused you to feel unsettled. I get it ! Like you say shes been a constant, stable figure in our lives , I'm 63 so a fare few years ! So its all change and there is such a huge out pouring of grief, which undoubtedly will affect us all in varying degrees, whether its due to her death or all the sentiments that are shown/played on the TV/radio.
At times like this our own feelings of grief are hightened and exacerbated and also when individuals seen to be moving forward with their lives , like your husband and when you have supported him so much. Its time for you Tabs! I do hope you feel better soon ! Big hugs
maij x
Very true Sadsister - suppose with Andrew the royals have/are having a taste of our world. He must be extremely uncomfortable being thrust right in the public eye at the moment.
A brush with the media is a nightmare, but they cannot escape it!
A brush with the media is a nightmare, but they cannot escape it!
Agree Smile,
We all dread the media locally, but at least it seems to dies down after a while for us.
Andrew & the Royals have no escape.
We all dread the media locally, but at least it seems to dies down after a while for us.
Andrew & the Royals have no escape.
I too felt for the queen when this happened to her son . I know its slightly different but essentially he's been accused of a sex offence. I'm not condoning what he was accussed of but the media all around the world would have sensationalised the story because of who he is, just like individuals on here when it has been reported in the press . As you say they can not escape criticism , how do they cope really ? We all worry about what will become of our husbands/sons and I expect the Queen worried about that immensley. I imagine he relied heavily on her for support and now she's gone. I wonder who she confided in for support ?
maij
maij
Agree - I think the Queen was very close to Andrew. Sure I read 'her favourite son). The press churned our 'story' out of context - that was hell. But day in day out they have to cope with it.
The support is there at the moment but when the funeral is over - their every single move and gesture will be analysed. Respect gone now the hyena press enter!
I know they have a privileged life but I wouldn't want to be in any of their shoes!
The support is there at the moment but when the funeral is over - their every single move and gesture will be analysed. Respect gone now the hyena press enter!
I know they have a privileged life but I wouldn't want to be in any of their shoes!