Family and Friends Forum

Hi so sorry to hear your situation. I can understand unfortunately. Our child was only 6 days old when we had the knock. I was just home from the hospital after a c-section. So a first time mum alone in Scotland, scared confused angry and betrayed.

My husband was released on bail on Christmas Eve but not allowed to return home. SS arrived and said he cannot have any interaction with our baby due to bail conditions. On Christmas day I sat with our baby and sobbed alone, also feeling like the bottom of my world fell out when it was meant to be the most happiest time of our lives. I couldn't even think of my future or my little babys future. It was too painful and scary.

That was 9 months ago now. Sentencing is approaching according to his solicitor. We are separated but working on our marriage with counselling. He hasn't seen his child yet because we are still waiting for bail conditions to amend (this normally won't take so long).

All I can say is you will get so much strength from your little baby. Some days I look back to December and really don't know how I got through it but I did and you will too. My baby keeps me busy and brings so much joy in a very bleak time. My husband is getting a lot of therapy for sex addiction and compulsive behaviour. I've seen a big change in him but we still need to face sentencing.

Stay strong for your baby, reach out and get help from a counsellor, accept help from family and friends. And most importantly enjoy every moment with her. What will be, will be xx

Don't worry about a thing !! Easier said than done ino. The day I found out I was pregnant we got the knock . Everyday I would cry and wonder what I'm bringing this little darling into . No baby shower so joy no happyness I stayed in a carvan with my other daughter untill he found a flat . I eveen used to worry the depression would harm my baby . Just relax as much as you can . Mind is the worst all the unknown all the midwife things or questions meeting . If it wasn't for my other daughter having covid and my friends watching her whole I was in labour I would of enjoyed the hospital . A few days of just you and the baby ect . It's a long road and it's to much to think and worry about . What will be will be just enjoy your baby and all the best xxx

Hey there, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. My heart goes out yo you. My person was also on a manga app, he's always been such a nerd and I had no idea of the content, although he didn't watch any of the hard core stuff, he was communicating with a police decoy. I work in maternity and I'd advise you to tell a midwife as if ss calls out they will be informed anyway as we work quiet closely with them. It's best to be honest because some social workers will see this as hiding things or not understanding the magnatude of his crime. Don't make any harsh decisions yet, it's still very early and you need as much support as you can with your new baby, the hormones, the tiredness ect can over whelm you so please reach out to your midwife, health visiters or gp if it does. I wish you all the best for your up coming birth, please try to enjoy these precious first few weeks as best you can. (easy to say I know) rant away here or ask questions xx

Oh and his bail conditions are set by the police, not ss. These can be dropped (my person's wasn't) and put on rui (relased under investigation)! He may be able to have supervised contact. Ive read a few on here that have xx

You never get the one midwife and your right to not tell too many people. I'm glad you have support around you that will make a big difference. There will be a specialised midwife in the hospital who deals with ss, mental health etc who you'll be referred to (well that's how it is on my hospital) the midwife or doctor who delivers your baby will know the circumstances too. Let us know how you get on with ss honey, make sure they know you don't condone his crime. Don't let anyone tell you you have to make any decisions right now, it will a long wait until now to charges, court etc so take your time and think. In the meantime, also tell your partner to get as much help as possible, ring the helpline, modules thearoy. This has helped my partner he's like a new person 18 months down the line. Hope you're OK honey. Are you admitted into antenatal ward?

I second what lost said . Tell your consultant, you should have a pre op assessment done the day b4 where you get bloods etc done , he hasn't been convicted of anything yet so should be OK for him to attend the birth, but wards might be a different matter, I think it varies from hospital to hospital and in the risk assessment they'll do. Bless you my love I can't imagine what you're going through but I know all the feelings xx