All hope is gone
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My husband was arresred in 2019 for 1 count of attempted communication (undercover cop)
He was sentenced in dec 2020 2 year community order 5 year shpo.
Not to enter of stay in any home with under 16 without ss permission
No unsupervised contact with child under 16 withou ss permission
Social services and probation have benn awful we were put on child in need as i was seen as protective
A risk assesment was done and was told not allowed home till my daughter (9) was 18 as my husband hadnt done any work or counciling ( he had) and my children were not old enough to understand
Complained and got a new social worker she said she couldnt do another assesment but would add all our concerns to the currwnt one.
She amended it to show my husband had done alot of work counciling berevement ect
But them out of nowhere said he still couldnt come home as he handnt completed all work with probation (only 3 month with them left, so why havent they done this work or mentioned it in the last 21 months) but said that even tho he hadnt done this work they apreciate he had done some so they would lower hoe long he can come home from 9 years to the 3 years left as set out by court (as if they were doing us a favour when they had just realised that after the 5 years it wasnt there choice)
As far as we were concerend all work with probation was done (awful probation who have lied and keep acusing him of worse offences evrytime he goes)
Now social services want to close the case and leave is as he cant come home for 3 years even tho all probation will be complete in december as his community order is done.
They say they wont reopen it once closed. And they wont do another assesment in 3 months when he will have done everything asked. I feel like we have done ABC and then XYZ and they still not happy
I feel this may be the end of the fight now
They also made us tell our children, but told us not to go into to much details, so we did tell them that he had had a inapropriate coversation with someone underage and now they are saying that we havent told the children the full conversation and using it against us
We cant win
Can we stop social services closing the case???
If he cant come home, i feel like thwy should stay involved till he does
So sorry for long post im so drained its been 3.5 years and feel like im going backwards
He was sentenced in dec 2020 2 year community order 5 year shpo.
Not to enter of stay in any home with under 16 without ss permission
No unsupervised contact with child under 16 withou ss permission
Social services and probation have benn awful we were put on child in need as i was seen as protective
A risk assesment was done and was told not allowed home till my daughter (9) was 18 as my husband hadnt done any work or counciling ( he had) and my children were not old enough to understand
Complained and got a new social worker she said she couldnt do another assesment but would add all our concerns to the currwnt one.
She amended it to show my husband had done alot of work counciling berevement ect
But them out of nowhere said he still couldnt come home as he handnt completed all work with probation (only 3 month with them left, so why havent they done this work or mentioned it in the last 21 months) but said that even tho he hadnt done this work they apreciate he had done some so they would lower hoe long he can come home from 9 years to the 3 years left as set out by court (as if they were doing us a favour when they had just realised that after the 5 years it wasnt there choice)
As far as we were concerend all work with probation was done (awful probation who have lied and keep acusing him of worse offences evrytime he goes)
Now social services want to close the case and leave is as he cant come home for 3 years even tho all probation will be complete in december as his community order is done.
They say they wont reopen it once closed. And they wont do another assesment in 3 months when he will have done everything asked. I feel like we have done ABC and then XYZ and they still not happy
I feel this may be the end of the fight now
They also made us tell our children, but told us not to go into to much details, so we did tell them that he had had a inapropriate coversation with someone underage and now they are saying that we havent told the children the full conversation and using it against us
We cant win
Can we stop social services closing the case???
If he cant come home, i feel like thwy should stay involved till he does
So sorry for long post im so drained its been 3.5 years and feel like im going backwards
Post deleted
Unfortunatly a solicitor wont help us adjust shpo under legal aid and we do not have the funds to pay for one, we also only had a small amount of media coverage as went to magistrates only during covid, so dont want to risk going to crown and ending up with more coverage.
I did mention a private assesment to social services but again due to husband loosing his job and two homes we havent even got the funds for that.
I know onee its closed being re refered and getting them to reopen is a very hard task round here
We did a subject access request previosly with ss and some of the email between them and probation were awful. I will deff do another one, and one for probation thank you didnt think to do one for them.
I want to fight not just for me but the thousands of families that they tear apart, and the parents who dont have the knowledge or strength to fight back but at the same time i feel so exhasted by it all. Husband has lost his fight, fully instead of helping him recover and get back on track they are tearing him down
I will contact family rights also thankyou.
I have another CIN meeting tommorow, so that should be fun, im also complaining as i feel they are trying to put words into my childrens mouths, they had a meeting with them today in school and the kids told me the things she was asking, rather than saying "how do you feel about your dad" she said "are you happy your dad no longer home" and also told the kids she would be gone in 3 months, thats the first ive heard i dont know if that means we are getting another sw or if thats when they plan to close it, but telling the kids before me seems highly inapropriate
Any way thank you both so much
I did mention a private assesment to social services but again due to husband loosing his job and two homes we havent even got the funds for that.
I know onee its closed being re refered and getting them to reopen is a very hard task round here
We did a subject access request previosly with ss and some of the email between them and probation were awful. I will deff do another one, and one for probation thank you didnt think to do one for them.
I want to fight not just for me but the thousands of families that they tear apart, and the parents who dont have the knowledge or strength to fight back but at the same time i feel so exhasted by it all. Husband has lost his fight, fully instead of helping him recover and get back on track they are tearing him down
I will contact family rights also thankyou.
I have another CIN meeting tommorow, so that should be fun, im also complaining as i feel they are trying to put words into my childrens mouths, they had a meeting with them today in school and the kids told me the things she was asking, rather than saying "how do you feel about your dad" she said "are you happy your dad no longer home" and also told the kids she would be gone in 3 months, thats the first ive heard i dont know if that means we are getting another sw or if thats when they plan to close it, but telling the kids before me seems highly inapropriate
Any way thank you both so much
Unfortunatly todays CIN meeting did not go well and i lost my temper which has never been done before.
I asked my ss why she has asked my children leading questions, she called them liers - i requested she is not alone with them in future and a teacher present.
I asked her why she told my children she would be leaving in 3 months, she advised she will be closing the case i wasnt happy she told them before me
After not helping us tell the children she now says we havent tolf them enough
The school didnt agree with the case closing in 3 months and said that they cannot put a timescale on how much time and support the children will need as we have just gave them alot of information. She ignored the school.
The school asked for a "statment of terms" covering exactly what the children know so that if they ever talk to the children they dont accidentally disclose information. I asked ss for help writing this, they declined and said it was something we needed to do alone. I got angry and said yes just like evrything else in this process i do it alone with none of your help
She asked me to leave the meeting for being angry (the school interuped this and gave me some lovley advice so i didnt leave)
So now im angry at myself for letting her get me so upset
Im currently writing my formal complaint and requesting a new social worker and manager to re review my case, i know they will probably say no but i will keep escalating and be a thorn in their side. the social worker keeps using phrases like "its the nature of the offence" and "what ifs" they have admited there is no signs or evidence or patterns of behavious that sugest my husband would reoffend but its the what ifs, clearly pedjudice.
They are determined to close the case in 3 months and refuse to reasses when husband has completed his probation work. And dont get me started on po she didnt turn up for the CIN meeting today no suprise shes been invited to 19 and hasnt turned up to any
I asked my ss why she has asked my children leading questions, she called them liers - i requested she is not alone with them in future and a teacher present.
I asked her why she told my children she would be leaving in 3 months, she advised she will be closing the case i wasnt happy she told them before me
After not helping us tell the children she now says we havent tolf them enough
The school didnt agree with the case closing in 3 months and said that they cannot put a timescale on how much time and support the children will need as we have just gave them alot of information. She ignored the school.
The school asked for a "statment of terms" covering exactly what the children know so that if they ever talk to the children they dont accidentally disclose information. I asked ss for help writing this, they declined and said it was something we needed to do alone. I got angry and said yes just like evrything else in this process i do it alone with none of your help
She asked me to leave the meeting for being angry (the school interuped this and gave me some lovley advice so i didnt leave)
So now im angry at myself for letting her get me so upset
Im currently writing my formal complaint and requesting a new social worker and manager to re review my case, i know they will probably say no but i will keep escalating and be a thorn in their side. the social worker keeps using phrases like "its the nature of the offence" and "what ifs" they have admited there is no signs or evidence or patterns of behavious that sugest my husband would reoffend but its the what ifs, clearly pedjudice.
They are determined to close the case in 3 months and refuse to reasses when husband has completed his probation work. And dont get me started on po she didnt turn up for the CIN meeting today no suprise shes been invited to 19 and hasnt turned up to any
Post deleted
Thank you so much i have done alot of what you said, going to go through the complaint with my husband this weekend and send on monday.
Unfortunatly i think the damage has been done with our social worker, she now seems to have her back up, she has asked me to attend the office (always been at home before) seems like shes acting as if im too agressive now. She has asked me to come with out my husband as she wants to discuss
- direct work with the children
- person of safety for the children
- purpose of CIN meetings
- statement to share with professionals
- safety plan
- no tolerance policy
Love have they have a tolarence policy much nothing to protect me. Im worried now that they may try to make life even harder than it is. They are wearning me down on purpose im aware but clearly im fighting a loosing battle.
The date she has asked me to go to the office is impossible, so hoping to be arranged for a date where my sister can go with me shes great with things like this.
Hoping my complaint gets seen and worked on before the meeting and i can have a new social worker. She seems to hate me.
Unfortunatly i think the damage has been done with our social worker, she now seems to have her back up, she has asked me to attend the office (always been at home before) seems like shes acting as if im too agressive now. She has asked me to come with out my husband as she wants to discuss
- direct work with the children
- person of safety for the children
- purpose of CIN meetings
- statement to share with professionals
- safety plan
- no tolerance policy
Love have they have a tolarence policy much nothing to protect me. Im worried now that they may try to make life even harder than it is. They are wearning me down on purpose im aware but clearly im fighting a loosing battle.
The date she has asked me to go to the office is impossible, so hoping to be arranged for a date where my sister can go with me shes great with things like this.
Hoping my complaint gets seen and worked on before the meeting and i can have a new social worker. She seems to hate me.