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Support for Porn/Sex addiction

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ACompleteMess

Member since
February 2022

57 posts

Posted Fri September 16, 2022 7:35amReport post

After my partner was arrested I found out that the reason for his offending was a serious, deep routed porn & sex addiction that he'd been struggling with since he was a child. He's really been trying to get help. He's having weekly therapy with a therapist from Stop SO and he's in contact with Sex Addicts Anonymous. However, he's opened up to me a few days ago and said he's still really struggling with not being able to watch any porn at all. I found out the other day that he'd "finished" whilst I wasn't home and I immediately felt so heartbroken because I thought he'd relapsed back into watching porn but he said he did it to pictures of me because he was desperate and at the time didn't think that would be a problem because it was me and not porn.



I just wanted to ask if anyone could advise any other charities or organisations, anything really that he can look into for help and support. Myself and his family have really tried to help as much as we can but like he keeps telling us "You don't get it, you don't understand what it feels like" and he's right so any advise would be really appreciated x

Confused&worried

Member since
June 2022

326 posts

Posted Fri September 16, 2022 7:53amReport post

So sorry that you are here.

While I can't offer any support, what i would say it that it a good thing that he recognises his problem. My OH is still not accepting that he has a problem with his attitude towards sex. He is also with a counsellor but still seems to have sex at the forefront of his mind all the time.

I will be following this thread with much interest x

SAL

Member since
December 2021

890 posts

Posted Fri September 16, 2022 8:19amReport post

I'd also say it's good he's recognising it. He's also shown to do it in a healthy way. Desire and need to climax is a trait needed for us (the human race) survive, its about doing that in a healthy way.

I'm terms of support, I've put a list below. The therapists will charge for the time. The groups as for a small contribution and meet weekly.

- The Laurel Centre specialises in sex and porn addiction and they have therapists (set up by Paula Hall who's written several books that are often referenced on here).

- Sex Addiction Anonymous - Support Group that follows the 12 steps as used in Alcoholic Anonymous

- Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous - Support Group as used in Alcoholic Anonymous

- StopSo also have therapist that cover these areas and are professionally trained with matters related iioc

Whilst maybe not relevant to this post, I think the title of this posts title might capture other people looking for resources around this area, so I've added some other information below.

Paula Hall

Paula Hall mentioned above has written a couple of books that have been mentioned and read by others here.

I've put the link to her website as it has all the titles but all are available on Amazon etc.

https://www.paulahall.co.uk/books/

There are some helpful YouTube videos

https://youtu.be/mPq5BNO9wcg

https://youtu.be/-Qf2e3XZ8Tw



Fight the new drug

Some helpful reading and a series of videos to watch

https://fightthenewdrug.org/videos/

I'm sure there are others I've missed. I hope some of this is helpful and hasn't distracted from the original post.

Edited Fri September 16, 2022 8:49am

SAL

Member since
December 2021

890 posts

Posted Fri September 16, 2022 9:45amReport post

Apologies to the original poster, I've just seen that OH is in therapy and has contacted SAA - Obviously not very awake this morning.

As Lee has mentioned, the support from SAA comes from attending the group sessions. As with all addiction they require effort everyday to recognise and not act out. The complex thing about this addiction is its not feasible or recommend to go "dry" its against our human nature. My person was encouraged to find healthy ways to do this, ways that were present, for example thinking of me or us.

ACompleteMess

Member since
February 2022

57 posts

Posted Fri September 16, 2022 7:19pmReport post

Thank you all so much for the advise and recommendations. I am so grateful. I've been feeling so useless, wanting so badly to help but not feeling like there's much I can do.

I know he's been chatting with someone from Sex Addicts anonymous. He's hoping to join in on the next meeting. So definitely some good steps forward.



again thank you all so much. X