Devastated
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Hi, I'm new on here. I had finally met my soulmate 4 years ago in my 50's. We have been very happy and were planning to get married in a few weeks time. We had also both sold our own houses and purchased our dream home. I also took early retirement from work and we had an amazing future of holidays travel etc.
4 weeks after we moved my partner was arrested for uploading iioc onto Kik.
I was there when the police came and took his devices. I was absolutely hysterical. The police told me that they have intelligence that links him to the account used and that even if they don't find evidence on his devices they know he's done it even though he wouldn't be charged. I don't want him to 'get away' with it. He said that one of his phones had been wiped but I'm hoping that images can still be recovered?
my grownup children are furious about this, especially as I have a grand child. They thought that I was better moving out and letting him stay in our home. They also say that he is a vile monster and that if I was ever with him in the future they would never come to our home and they'd be very disappointed in me that I could be with someone who's done those awful things.
I'm living a complete nightmare as for 6 weeks I've been moving between friends and family with a suitcase. I'm under the doctor cos I'm suffering with extreme shock and panic attacks. I've no home, given up my job and my secure happy future and wedding has gone .
I'm so so sad that my wonderful fiancé is not who I thought he was. My emotions are all over the place sometimes I love him and want everything to go away including friends and family saying I can't ever be with him!! Other times I'm furious with him for everything I've lost. He is also constantly texting me saying how much he loves me and sending me photos of us on holidays etc. he tells me he is suicidal and tells me how he's going to end it all.... I just can't cope with anything at the moment. Went to a shop to buy toothpaste.. I stood in Tesco and cried cos they didn't have my usual brand and I couldn't decide what to buy. Really struggling I've lost too much
4 weeks after we moved my partner was arrested for uploading iioc onto Kik.
I was there when the police came and took his devices. I was absolutely hysterical. The police told me that they have intelligence that links him to the account used and that even if they don't find evidence on his devices they know he's done it even though he wouldn't be charged. I don't want him to 'get away' with it. He said that one of his phones had been wiped but I'm hoping that images can still be recovered?
my grownup children are furious about this, especially as I have a grand child. They thought that I was better moving out and letting him stay in our home. They also say that he is a vile monster and that if I was ever with him in the future they would never come to our home and they'd be very disappointed in me that I could be with someone who's done those awful things.
I'm living a complete nightmare as for 6 weeks I've been moving between friends and family with a suitcase. I'm under the doctor cos I'm suffering with extreme shock and panic attacks. I've no home, given up my job and my secure happy future and wedding has gone .
I'm so so sad that my wonderful fiancé is not who I thought he was. My emotions are all over the place sometimes I love him and want everything to go away including friends and family saying I can't ever be with him!! Other times I'm furious with him for everything I've lost. He is also constantly texting me saying how much he loves me and sending me photos of us on holidays etc. he tells me he is suicidal and tells me how he's going to end it all.... I just can't cope with anything at the moment. Went to a shop to buy toothpaste.. I stood in Tesco and cried cos they didn't have my usual brand and I couldn't decide what to buy. Really struggling I've lost too much
Hello,
I'm sorry I can't offer any advice, as unfortunately I am new to all this myself.
I send you a virtual hug and hope things start to improve for you x
I'm sorry I can't offer any advice, as unfortunately I am new to all this myself.
I send you a virtual hug and hope things start to improve for you x
Your story is similar to mine, I met my soul ate in my late 30s together 5 years, wedding booked (second for both of us) the shock, the fear, the future plans all gone. I'm sorry about your families reactions, I only told my mum and noone else, I was and still am. Ashamed. He was arrested for communication with a minor. My daughter was the same age as the mi or which made it all worse. Its still early days for you but it does get better. Well as better as it can. You'll get over this heartbreak I promise, try ringing your gp and the stop it helpline, get some counselling. I'm. Lucky my house was mine and I had no financial ties to him. But he did pay half the bills and its been a struggle but I get there. After a good time apart I'm. Supporting him, it's a lot more complex than I first imagined and he's a good person who did a bad thing. I'm. Not sure if there's a future for us but he told me the truth about everything and as hard as it was to here it helped me heal. I thi k you'll need tgat conversation with him b4 you try to make any decisions and there's no hurry. These investigations take a long time, we are 19 mo this and court in a few weeks hopfully. My heart to out to you. Please keep in touch with us, rant, scream, rage.
Hi Newlady, thank you for your reply. I m sort that you are in this horrible situation as well. Just when you think life is great, it kicks you in the teeth!!
I think my children ( ages 25 and 28) have reacted like they have because social care rang my daughter because my granddaughter visits our home. Quite rightly she was horrified. I just can't accept that he can be the man I thought he was if he could look at those images. I rang a counsellor from here and he was brilliant. He said I shouldn't make any decisions about him until the forensic report is back . Unfortunately I don't think this helps the situation because even if they don't find anything I know he's done it. How could I be with someone who I know is guilty even if they're not charged?? My kids would never have a relationship with him and I'd have to see my grand daughter outside of our home. It's not normal is it?? Just gutted that I've lost my future. Sending you virtual hugs x
I think my children ( ages 25 and 28) have reacted like they have because social care rang my daughter because my granddaughter visits our home. Quite rightly she was horrified. I just can't accept that he can be the man I thought he was if he could look at those images. I rang a counsellor from here and he was brilliant. He said I shouldn't make any decisions about him until the forensic report is back . Unfortunately I don't think this helps the situation because even if they don't find anything I know he's done it. How could I be with someone who I know is guilty even if they're not charged?? My kids would never have a relationship with him and I'd have to see my grand daughter outside of our home. It's not normal is it?? Just gutted that I've lost my future. Sending you virtual hugs x
Ack bless you big hugs back. Its the acceptance of my bright future ahead of me wasn't ment to be was the hardest bit. After thearpy I let go of that life and I now have a new normal. I hope he's getting help too though, it's a terrible situation for everyone to be in. Have you still contact? I knew my person was guilty of something at the minute of the arrest, I met hom the day after and we had many many Frank conversations the few months after. I know he's a good person who unfortunately did a bad thing and made a huge error of judgement. He's also quiet gullible too and we were both going through a lot at the time. I know exactly how your feeling right now so just be kind to yourself. When you get answers from him your brain will unravel a bit. Just went your ready sweet heart. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.