Co-parenting advice
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Hi,
I havent posted for quite a few years so not sure many will remember any of my posts but essentially our knock came 4 years ago for iioc. We remained together in the long wait until his court case. We seperated after his conviction as i felt it was what was right for me and my child in the long term and he was given a custodial sentence. Social services involvement minimal and next to no involvement since his release but we've just continued to do supervised access as that was the social services recommendation pre conviction.
Fast forward a year and we've been making the supervised access work for us and he had been seeing his child once a week with my supervision usually at his or my house. Although I feel like he could make more of an effort to see him than he does, he did secure employment after his release so has other commitments so he advised he is busy alot of the other times throughout the week.
I'm essentially looking for advice on how parents do supervised access if they are no longer together. That is working for us currently but we both are looking to move on and meet other people (mainly him) so the way we work things will evitable change. As we have been seeing each other weekly we do have a friendship which means we are very open regarding meeting new people but im not sure where the boundary should be regardless what I know about his life moving forward and he knows about mine. I think due to what we've been through I have the urge to know everything to protect my child and I and control who is in our lives.
Personally speaking I feel like his priorities right now should be our child and not thinking about meeting other people but that's where he's at.
If anyone has navigated this or has any advice I'd gladly take it. My friends are extremely supported and I've confided in them how I feel but the advice they can give is limited given they haven't experienced what I've been through.
Kate x
I havent posted for quite a few years so not sure many will remember any of my posts but essentially our knock came 4 years ago for iioc. We remained together in the long wait until his court case. We seperated after his conviction as i felt it was what was right for me and my child in the long term and he was given a custodial sentence. Social services involvement minimal and next to no involvement since his release but we've just continued to do supervised access as that was the social services recommendation pre conviction.
Fast forward a year and we've been making the supervised access work for us and he had been seeing his child once a week with my supervision usually at his or my house. Although I feel like he could make more of an effort to see him than he does, he did secure employment after his release so has other commitments so he advised he is busy alot of the other times throughout the week.
I'm essentially looking for advice on how parents do supervised access if they are no longer together. That is working for us currently but we both are looking to move on and meet other people (mainly him) so the way we work things will evitable change. As we have been seeing each other weekly we do have a friendship which means we are very open regarding meeting new people but im not sure where the boundary should be regardless what I know about his life moving forward and he knows about mine. I think due to what we've been through I have the urge to know everything to protect my child and I and control who is in our lives.
Personally speaking I feel like his priorities right now should be our child and not thinking about meeting other people but that's where he's at.
If anyone has navigated this or has any advice I'd gladly take it. My friends are extremely supported and I've confided in them how I feel but the advice they can give is limited given they haven't experienced what I've been through.
Kate x
Hi Kate,
I haven't really got any answers for you although social services have helped me get my ex partners parents onboard with supervising access. While they aren't very keen neither was I for a year and half and it is good to share some responsibility. Do you have family or friends who could step in? Could you ring the helpline for some advice?
I hope you find a way for it to work for you x
I haven't really got any answers for you although social services have helped me get my ex partners parents onboard with supervising access. While they aren't very keen neither was I for a year and half and it is good to share some responsibility. Do you have family or friends who could step in? Could you ring the helpline for some advice?
I hope you find a way for it to work for you x
Thanks Len,
I appreciate that. Separating is bad enough without seeing them weekly and being reminded of what could have been.
I've been able to communicate to my Ex that I'm feeling this way and resentment so he's said he will support me in the ways that he can along with his parents. It's now upto him to show me and not it all be words.
I appreciate that. Separating is bad enough without seeing them weekly and being reminded of what could have been.
I've been able to communicate to my Ex that I'm feeling this way and resentment so he's said he will support me in the ways that he can along with his parents. It's now upto him to show me and not it all be words.