Any advice as a starting point
Notifications OFF
Hi,
This time last week I was leaving custody with my son as I was his appropriate adult, that day changed our lives forever and I have never in my life felt the emotions I have felt during this past week. He is 24 years old and has autism.
I have so many questions but to start could anyone advise how to navigate the forum as there are so many topics. It may seem obvious how to do it but I'm feeling so overwhelmed looking at it all.
My son has also contacted the stop it now and Safer lives helpline and wants to complete the courses but I can't figure out whether the courses are the same or whether he needs to do courses with both?
I have the same fear as you all, my son has currently been released under investigation but he will be charged and I'm so scared he is going to receive a custodial sentence and I'm fearful of people's reactions if it's in the media & they find out. I love my son with all my heart and my focus is to support him and to prevent this happening again.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
x
This time last week I was leaving custody with my son as I was his appropriate adult, that day changed our lives forever and I have never in my life felt the emotions I have felt during this past week. He is 24 years old and has autism.
I have so many questions but to start could anyone advise how to navigate the forum as there are so many topics. It may seem obvious how to do it but I'm feeling so overwhelmed looking at it all.
My son has also contacted the stop it now and Safer lives helpline and wants to complete the courses but I can't figure out whether the courses are the same or whether he needs to do courses with both?
I have the same fear as you all, my son has currently been released under investigation but he will be charged and I'm so scared he is going to receive a custodial sentence and I'm fearful of people's reactions if it's in the media & they find out. I love my son with all my heart and my focus is to support him and to prevent this happening again.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
x
Hi. I am so sorry that you find yourself here. I am the partner of and offender and can not begin to imagine how difficult it must be for a mother.
The police and social services that we have dealt with seem to put a lot of faith in the Lucy Faithfull courses although I do believe they are all very similar. My OH has also found benefit from finding a counsellor through the Stop SO charity, he has a 1-1 therapy session every week.
I know there is an amazing lady on here who also has a son with Autism who is in a similar position to you and she is a mine of knowledge, I'm sure she will reach out to you.
With regards to the forum, it's always worth getting a pen & paper, start at the beginning, read as much as you can and take notes x
The police and social services that we have dealt with seem to put a lot of faith in the Lucy Faithfull courses although I do believe they are all very similar. My OH has also found benefit from finding a counsellor through the Stop SO charity, he has a 1-1 therapy session every week.
I know there is an amazing lady on here who also has a son with Autism who is in a similar position to you and she is a mine of knowledge, I'm sure she will reach out to you.
With regards to the forum, it's always worth getting a pen & paper, start at the beginning, read as much as you can and take notes x
Post deleted
Hi Elaine
I am so sorry that you find yourself here but after reading your post I felt the need to reply to you.
We have a young member of our family who is on the autistic spectrum who was only 16 years old when we had the police knock at our door. The first couple of months were the hardest for us as it left the young member of our family very traumatised with the knock and he completely shut down. How is your son doing? Is he able to talk to you about how this all happened?
The young person in our family did the Young Person Inform Plus course with Stop it now and it allowed him overtime to understand how this had all happened and make sense of it all. Have you spoke to the charity yet? If not i would definitely recommend it. They worked with me a bit before speaking with my son as in the early months he was unable to speak with them at all.
The best way to navigate this forum if you want to look through stuff particulary about autism I would suggest you put the words 'autism' , 'autistic' and 'spectrum' one at a time into the search box at the top right hand corner of the forum page. (I hope this instruction is clear enough for you to understand) You should then get all the posts with these words in which on the whole may be more relevant to you.
Please keep posting this forum is always here for its members.
I am thinking of you and your son.
I am so sorry that you find yourself here but after reading your post I felt the need to reply to you.
We have a young member of our family who is on the autistic spectrum who was only 16 years old when we had the police knock at our door. The first couple of months were the hardest for us as it left the young member of our family very traumatised with the knock and he completely shut down. How is your son doing? Is he able to talk to you about how this all happened?
The young person in our family did the Young Person Inform Plus course with Stop it now and it allowed him overtime to understand how this had all happened and make sense of it all. Have you spoke to the charity yet? If not i would definitely recommend it. They worked with me a bit before speaking with my son as in the early months he was unable to speak with them at all.
The best way to navigate this forum if you want to look through stuff particulary about autism I would suggest you put the words 'autism' , 'autistic' and 'spectrum' one at a time into the search box at the top right hand corner of the forum page. (I hope this instruction is clear enough for you to understand) You should then get all the posts with these words in which on the whole may be more relevant to you.
Please keep posting this forum is always here for its members.
I am thinking of you and your son.
Hi Elaine
Just thought I would add we read the book 'The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality and the Law' to help us try and make sense of the situation we found ourselves in and how being on the spectrum could have significantly contributed to this happening. The authors are Tony Attwood, Isabelle Henault and Nick Dubin. It may be of interest to you.
Take care and remember to look after yourself.
Just thought I would add we read the book 'The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality and the Law' to help us try and make sense of the situation we found ourselves in and how being on the spectrum could have significantly contributed to this happening. The authors are Tony Attwood, Isabelle Henault and Nick Dubin. It may be of interest to you.
Take care and remember to look after yourself.
Hi Elaine,
it's probably some small comfort to know that you are definitely not alone. My 23yr old Autistic son was stung by Paed Vigilantes in April 22. I have been so traumatised by everything, I have struggled to get through some days . I too am his appropriate adult which was just a terrible experience but as his Mum , I felt duty bound to do this.
The trauma is mind-blowing and I found the Police to have an arrogance about them which has made me so angry/upset . I don't get replies to emails from either police or the duty Solicitor who seemed very good at the time. I can't cope with the stress of contacting them and constantly waiting for a return call/email.
Lucy Faithful Practioner has been totally amazing, as has Social Services who assessed my son and he now has a Support Worker 2 days per week.
we just heard that Bail has been dropped and but he is still under investigation and have no idea how long we will be in this awful limbo for until something else happens. It has totally dominated our lives. Some days are just awful but things will calm down for you and you will find a way to muddle through.
I often wonder if I should have realised what his isolation and social naevity could have led to but we are where we are. I just worry so much for his future and wish I didn't overthink things so much.
This forum is the only place where others truly understand. Keep in touch and let us know how things go but please remember you are not alone x x
it's probably some small comfort to know that you are definitely not alone. My 23yr old Autistic son was stung by Paed Vigilantes in April 22. I have been so traumatised by everything, I have struggled to get through some days . I too am his appropriate adult which was just a terrible experience but as his Mum , I felt duty bound to do this.
The trauma is mind-blowing and I found the Police to have an arrogance about them which has made me so angry/upset . I don't get replies to emails from either police or the duty Solicitor who seemed very good at the time. I can't cope with the stress of contacting them and constantly waiting for a return call/email.
Lucy Faithful Practioner has been totally amazing, as has Social Services who assessed my son and he now has a Support Worker 2 days per week.
we just heard that Bail has been dropped and but he is still under investigation and have no idea how long we will be in this awful limbo for until something else happens. It has totally dominated our lives. Some days are just awful but things will calm down for you and you will find a way to muddle through.
I often wonder if I should have realised what his isolation and social naevity could have led to but we are where we are. I just worry so much for his future and wish I didn't overthink things so much.
This forum is the only place where others truly understand. Keep in touch and let us know how things go but please remember you are not alone x x
Hello,
Thank you all so much for the replies, they really mean so much.
At the moment I've struggled to reply as it's all been so overwhelming and my son has been suicidal, I thought 'the Knock' was the worse thing to have happened until I had to stop my son ending his own life.
I will post a better update shortly, I just wanted you all to know how appreciative I am of you all.
x
Thank you all so much for the replies, they really mean so much.
At the moment I've struggled to reply as it's all been so overwhelming and my son has been suicidal, I thought 'the Knock' was the worse thing to have happened until I had to stop my son ending his own life.
I will post a better update shortly, I just wanted you all to know how appreciative I am of you all.
x
We are here when you are ready x x