Court date
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Expecting court date notification arriving today or tomorrow. Feel sick and can't stop shaking. I know I have no control over the outcome and I keep trying to tell myself this but I'm so scared. I just needed to tell people that understand.
I'm hear right with you, we are expecting evidence any day as it's been ordered by the judge so everything seems so real now
I was terrified too but the closer to court it came I actually calmed down as I saw it as light at the end of a long tunnel. It's not all plain sailing afterwards adjusting to the new norm but it's a good starting point. It's another bad thing over.
see it as the end of now, what will be will be, make sure you have/get some support and remember how strong you both are, you can do this x
see it as the end of now, what will be will be, make sure you have/get some support and remember how strong you both are, you can do this x
Thank you Jay Jay I'm terrified xx
I neglected to say thank you for your responses.
Court set for beginning of November, original Solicitor has left the company so my person now has a new one & a barrister; neither of which have met him face to face yet. I sat and wrote a statement for The Judge a few days ago. Such a surreal experience and certainly never one I expected to be doing. If I'm honest the whole situation is surreal and feels like it's happening to someone else. We are happy, I love him, we are talking more than ever, he's started therapy for PTSD which is long overdue, we're making happy memories, he's working everyday and I'm back at work after extended sick leave next week. Everything is great but with this storm cloud hanging just above. Such a confusing contrast x
Jayjay your words were a comfort. Thank you.
Newlady I hope you're ok x
Court set for beginning of November, original Solicitor has left the company so my person now has a new one & a barrister; neither of which have met him face to face yet. I sat and wrote a statement for The Judge a few days ago. Such a surreal experience and certainly never one I expected to be doing. If I'm honest the whole situation is surreal and feels like it's happening to someone else. We are happy, I love him, we are talking more than ever, he's started therapy for PTSD which is long overdue, we're making happy memories, he's working everyday and I'm back at work after extended sick leave next week. Everything is great but with this storm cloud hanging just above. Such a confusing contrast x
Jayjay your words were a comfort. Thank you.
Newlady I hope you're ok x
Glad I could help a little. We didn't meet barrister until day of plea hearing I was petrified. Turned out he was good and confident x
update.
Crown yesterday & my person met his new solicitor & barrister for the first time. He was insistent on pleading not guilty but was advised yesterday ( nothing like leaving it until your back is against the wall!) to consider his options. He was told that intent is rarely a successful outcome and that he could continue with his not guilty plea and go to trial but his odds were 50:50 & if found guilty would result in a much harsher sentence or plea bargain with a guilty plea. He phoned me to discuss and we decided that the latter was the best of two awful choices. It broke both our hearts. His sentencing is in early December.
Since the knock we have had no contact with the police by choice & on advise, however they still haven't provided a list of the items they took from our home despite promising me they would on the day. Today we had a call asking my person to contact the police. We need to visit a station to register SOR based on his now guilty plea. It's amazing how fast they contact you when they want something!! I never thought I'd be in this situation nor would I wish this journey on my worst enemy but it will not break us.
I love him and I do not believe he poses a danger to children. He made a stupid mistake in a conversation with an adult (decoy) who introduced a topic he should have stepped away from. He didn't. It is what it is. We can't change the past but we can look to the future.
I told him today to write a list of things he needs to do and started it for him:
1) forgive yourself
2) know you are loved
3) look forwards
Sending you all love and strength. Although this journey is still far from easy or over it does get more bareable. Thank you to each and everyone one of you for posting. If it wasn't for this forum I don't know that I would be here to write this xx
Crown yesterday & my person met his new solicitor & barrister for the first time. He was insistent on pleading not guilty but was advised yesterday ( nothing like leaving it until your back is against the wall!) to consider his options. He was told that intent is rarely a successful outcome and that he could continue with his not guilty plea and go to trial but his odds were 50:50 & if found guilty would result in a much harsher sentence or plea bargain with a guilty plea. He phoned me to discuss and we decided that the latter was the best of two awful choices. It broke both our hearts. His sentencing is in early December.
Since the knock we have had no contact with the police by choice & on advise, however they still haven't provided a list of the items they took from our home despite promising me they would on the day. Today we had a call asking my person to contact the police. We need to visit a station to register SOR based on his now guilty plea. It's amazing how fast they contact you when they want something!! I never thought I'd be in this situation nor would I wish this journey on my worst enemy but it will not break us.
I love him and I do not believe he poses a danger to children. He made a stupid mistake in a conversation with an adult (decoy) who introduced a topic he should have stepped away from. He didn't. It is what it is. We can't change the past but we can look to the future.
I told him today to write a list of things he needs to do and started it for him:
1) forgive yourself
2) know you are loved
3) look forwards
Sending you all love and strength. Although this journey is still far from easy or over it does get more bareable. Thank you to each and everyone one of you for posting. If it wasn't for this forum I don't know that I would be here to write this xx
Life feels over my husband also has his sentencing at the beginning of December. I'm dreading it. He had a goodyear hearing, and they said max 2 years, but they can't indicate if custodial or suspended. He pleaded guilty after being told by his barrister he would be lucky to get a not-guilty verdict. I'll be thinking of you both. The signing on to the register makes it more real somehow, I've struggled more since he was convicted.
LouLou I'll be thinking of you both too x
Life ... you are an inspiration and I love your positivity. Your husband is very lucky to have you.
may I ask how come plea hearing was at crown and not magistrates?
wishing you good luck for next month x
may I ask how come plea hearing was at crown and not magistrates?
wishing you good luck for next month x
Hey JayJay,
You have a plea hearing at Magistrates and if you plead not guilty you then have a plea hearing at Crown. Not 100% why this is. There's also a couple of other hearings after this. It's more complex than you realise when pleading not guilty and there's lots of little bits like the defence statement which gets submitted prior to trial which can trigger further disclosure from the CPS containing unseen evidence which MAY include evidence favourable to the defence. I've really had my eyes opened seeing the process from this side xx
You have a plea hearing at Magistrates and if you plead not guilty you then have a plea hearing at Crown. Not 100% why this is. There's also a couple of other hearings after this. It's more complex than you realise when pleading not guilty and there's lots of little bits like the defence statement which gets submitted prior to trial which can trigger further disclosure from the CPS containing unseen evidence which MAY include evidence favourable to the defence. I've really had my eyes opened seeing the process from this side xx
Oh right I never knew that! Thanks x
As has been said it appears to be very challenging and complex when pleading not guilty. The odds are firmly stacked against you it seems and I doubt any jury is able to remain impartial. My person desperately wanted to continue his not guilty plea but the risk just wasn't worth it. I think leaving these discussions until the day of your hearing is so unfair. It's something that needs longer consideration and discussion not just a quick call from an interview room in court.
He is currently at the station signing the SOR whilst I wait in the waiting room. My anxiety is through the roof as I no longer trust the police. I can't help thinking it's all a trick and they've got him here for something else.
I wish I had a magic wand as I'm sure we all do x
He is currently at the station signing the SOR whilst I wait in the waiting room. My anxiety is through the roof as I no longer trust the police. I can't help thinking it's all a trick and they've got him here for something else.
I wish I had a magic wand as I'm sure we all do x
I hope your anxiety calms soon! I agree, it's awful to have such pressure and be expected to make such a decision in a short space of time. Legal advice is massive in all of this as many are advised to plead guilty where other solicitors may advise differently. It's very difficult in aspects of this to define guilt as some genuinely did not realise what they had done was illegal and it is the biggest excuse given so has become unbelieavable in many circumstances.