I've read the evidence, has anyone else?
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So finally after 19 mi this the evidence is finally in. I read it all today and I ferl sick. No matter what I do I can't stop thinking about it it's like reading a different person's chat. I can't get over how he spoke to this teen girls I'm shocked even though I knew mor or less what was in it it's so surreal. There was a pic he swears he doesn't remember, but did get groomi g charge dropped so least thats something. Has anyone sles did this and how did you feel? Even hearing it in court must be terrible. I'm lost and back in shock x
We're not anywhere near that stage yet (only 5 weeks in) but I'm dreading hearing/seeing the evidence. It's so not what I expected from my husband and I can imagine I will feel the same as you. Sounds like my husband has the same charges, he's adamant that he didn't ask for anything and he's hoping it'll get reduced to communication.
Hi New Lady. We read the evidence in the solicitors office on Wednesday. He was arrested for images. It's really upset me. I've always said to my husband that to move forward he needs to allow full disclosure with his solicitor. I guess I needed to read the actual evidence that came back from forensics to know the absolute truth of this situation. I knew this day would eventually come.
We have a 9 month old baby so I felt that knowledge is power. But it was very upsetting for both of us. My husband started to panic and I burst into tears reading the evidence report. To be honest I wasn't prepared to read what was in the report. My heart breaks for these poor kids. I can't stop thinking what an evil world we live in.
The solicitor explained to us that these crimes are all about supply and demand. It's made me resent my husband even more that he contributed to the online abuse of victims. I'm trying to support him but I just feel very unsettled since Wednesday. We will need a lot of therapy to work on our marriage. He has done the Informplus course and is doing private therapy and he now understands that these images are real people with real feelings. I sometimes thinks he must have no heart to commit a crime like this and i wonder do I ever really know what's going on in his mind. Just unsettling xx
We have a 9 month old baby so I felt that knowledge is power. But it was very upsetting for both of us. My husband started to panic and I burst into tears reading the evidence report. To be honest I wasn't prepared to read what was in the report. My heart breaks for these poor kids. I can't stop thinking what an evil world we live in.
The solicitor explained to us that these crimes are all about supply and demand. It's made me resent my husband even more that he contributed to the online abuse of victims. I'm trying to support him but I just feel very unsettled since Wednesday. We will need a lot of therapy to work on our marriage. He has done the Informplus course and is doing private therapy and he now understands that these images are real people with real feelings. I sometimes thinks he must have no heart to commit a crime like this and i wonder do I ever really know what's going on in his mind. Just unsettling xx
God help you, but I totally get it, just had a 3 hour phone call with my person. I've explained that he needs to be honest about the want in him. To even talk to a teen like that. Our relationship was amazing so he obviously needs help. It's so difficult because I love the man he is, he's actually amazing but the guy in this chat I honestly don't k ow who he is.
I keep thinkng about my daughter, she's a similar age to the girks he was chatting to. If some guy talked to her like that I'd actually kill them. Unbelievable that he saud the exact same, he saud if he was her he'd want to kill them. Himself. How???? Like hoe does he feel. Like that then go ahead and do it to. Another kid (decoy) I don't get it
The cps read out descriptions of the worst cat A iioc in court. I was disgusted, cried, hurt, ashamed, we didn't speak after for a week. He said I know you feel differently about me now. I was ill, couldn't look at him. I knew what cat a meant but actually hearing the ages, descriptions of exactly what oh had viewed killed me. I was not prepared. It does get easier. He has done lots of work and therapy. He can't even remember the images or if he did actually see those specific ones. He was addicted to porn and became desensitised. Give yourself time to process and don't put pressure on yourself x
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Thank you girls, it just didn't sound like him at all. It sounded like a different creepy person. It was even a grauel conversation it was very quick and short. Now I'm questioning is he attracted to teen girks, even though I never got tgat feeling b4. He was smoking a lot of pot on the dates of convo and working from. Home. It was in the mornings while I was in work over 3 mornings then stopped. I've had 3 really long phone calls with him. He saud he cabt remember half of it and is didcustedveith himself he can't believe thars him. He's did a lot of work too but I hvnt been able to eat or sleep thinking about it.
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Ahh bitter bean what a predicament your in. What have his barristers said his chances are? My person told me there were no pics but he put a pic of his private parts on he's adiment he can't remember it and he was sick when he seen what he did. It wasn't as explicit as I thought and he was teithfil about everything else so I don't know why he'd lie about the pic? But I'm still open minded he could have been in total denyal. Must be so hard for you, cabt imagine the confusion of not knowing what to believe but I'm sure if he's innocent forensics 2ill show that. The evidence is very clear in forenic report and they checked everything from Google searches to ip times and open files etc. They found nothing else but the photo on his phone
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It's crazy how many people could gets pulled into this unwittingly. I hope you both get the outcome your looking for because it would be so unfair if he got sent down. Your a tough woman xx
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So Newlady,
Has this new information made you reconsider your future plans for your relationship? It's so difficult when it's someone you have lived and trusted that you find out has not told the truth, or at the least omitted to provide you with all relevant information. I guess they may may be worried that we might walk away, but concealing things that are inevitably going to come out is daft as it makes things so much worse when you do find out
Has this new information made you reconsider your future plans for your relationship? It's so difficult when it's someone you have lived and trusted that you find out has not told the truth, or at the least omitted to provide you with all relevant information. I guess they may may be worried that we might walk away, but concealing things that are inevitably going to come out is daft as it makes things so much worse when you do find out
Bitter bean, no it's not terrible at all, if you're nit happy then leave. I left a terrible abusive marriage years ago, was hardest 5hing I did buti did left with working and 3 small kids in my own.. Ywah it has got me second guessing our relationship now. We were due 5ongey married and were together 6byears at time of knock. Of course we had our moments but he treated me so well, and my children and his children brilliant too. He was completely opposite of my ex husband then the knock happens and completely blew me away. I've been doing kit's of research into why this happens and why he did it. I think. I'll still support him. Because 8m all he's got and I do still live him. I just don't think I'll be able to be intimate with him again.
It's so hard, isn't it, Newlady, we think we know them so well, and then this happens and it's like waking up next to a stranger with all the ughs that entails....
So yeah, ive said on here before, I feel like I'm leading a double life, one that's outwardly carrying on as normal and the other half dying inside, but also now I wonder if I'm in a relationship with two different people wrapped into one. Or maybe I didn't really know him that well at all. I want to believe him, I _do_ believe him, but there's this nagging little voice "but what if I'm wrong?"
And yeah he does not have a lot of friends he's a quiet shy type and if I left he'd probably have no one. He's not an evil person or abusive but he can be a bit manipulative and pull the poor old me card, so I don't know...
So yeah, ive said on here before, I feel like I'm leading a double life, one that's outwardly carrying on as normal and the other half dying inside, but also now I wonder if I'm in a relationship with two different people wrapped into one. Or maybe I didn't really know him that well at all. I want to believe him, I _do_ believe him, but there's this nagging little voice "but what if I'm wrong?"
And yeah he does not have a lot of friends he's a quiet shy type and if I left he'd probably have no one. He's not an evil person or abusive but he can be a bit manipulative and pull the poor old me card, so I don't know...