Pre trial in the morning!!
Notifications OFF
Hi all,
I'm really new to all this, been trying to cope since February with all this alone. Im not sure how much I'm allowed to share and maybe just wanting to get it all of my chest to people who having potentially been in similar situations.
My partner was arrested for possession of indecent images of children back in Feb and his pre trial Is tomorrow (second date as first became something else) the images are a product of a conversation he had on holiday in 2015 in Thailand on an adult dating app with someone who told him she was 23 then later claimed to be 12! After images/videos had been exchanged.
The device was upgraded 2 month later (upgraded phone as contract ended) and have not been accessed since proven by digital forensics, I just dont understand why the trial is still going on this girl initiated the conversation and sending the images/videos he did not ask for any of them. My partner thought he had uninstalled the app but it seems he only deleted from the home screen and his ex went through the phone early this year and handed it to police as a means to stop him seeing his son.
I've had social services involvement, but after explaining the whole situation to my children's dad he has sympathy for my partner because hes had experience of dating apps and you never truly know who your speaking to online. Has anyone had any success stories when dealing with social services and been able to carry on a relationship with someone who has been accused and eventually get back to some sort of normality.
I'm not wanting him to move in or anything hes put me through so much but I love this man and can myself see how you can get tricked online, especially when thai woman stereotypically are small framed, busted etc.
Am I being naive?
I genuinely think it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life after seeing the conversation in evidence, its blatantly obvious hes let his penis rule over his brain in this situation. The police seized all mine and children's devices, all his and all his exs and there is nothing anywhere else bar this 1 conversation.
Is it possible this can be seen as a stupid mistake or has he doomed us all?
Hes not younger either was 30 when this took place.
Thank you for reading and sorry it's so long xx
I'm really new to all this, been trying to cope since February with all this alone. Im not sure how much I'm allowed to share and maybe just wanting to get it all of my chest to people who having potentially been in similar situations.
My partner was arrested for possession of indecent images of children back in Feb and his pre trial Is tomorrow (second date as first became something else) the images are a product of a conversation he had on holiday in 2015 in Thailand on an adult dating app with someone who told him she was 23 then later claimed to be 12! After images/videos had been exchanged.
The device was upgraded 2 month later (upgraded phone as contract ended) and have not been accessed since proven by digital forensics, I just dont understand why the trial is still going on this girl initiated the conversation and sending the images/videos he did not ask for any of them. My partner thought he had uninstalled the app but it seems he only deleted from the home screen and his ex went through the phone early this year and handed it to police as a means to stop him seeing his son.
I've had social services involvement, but after explaining the whole situation to my children's dad he has sympathy for my partner because hes had experience of dating apps and you never truly know who your speaking to online. Has anyone had any success stories when dealing with social services and been able to carry on a relationship with someone who has been accused and eventually get back to some sort of normality.
I'm not wanting him to move in or anything hes put me through so much but I love this man and can myself see how you can get tricked online, especially when thai woman stereotypically are small framed, busted etc.
Am I being naive?
I genuinely think it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life after seeing the conversation in evidence, its blatantly obvious hes let his penis rule over his brain in this situation. The police seized all mine and children's devices, all his and all his exs and there is nothing anywhere else bar this 1 conversation.
Is it possible this can be seen as a stupid mistake or has he doomed us all?
Hes not younger either was 30 when this took place.
Thank you for reading and sorry it's so long xx
Hi Samlouise,
im not sure how much help I can offer, but I wanted to wish you luck with the pre-trial today.
From what I have read, he could be lucky and be let off with a caution (though that could still lead to being on the SOR for a period of time), or he could have a community sentence rather than custody.
I'm sorry that you are in this situation, and I hope you find a positive outcome.
I also hope to stay with my partner, however his offence appears to have been due to porn addiction which spiralled (WAY) out of control, rather than yours which sounds like it could have been a genuine mistake.
Whatever the outcome of the pre-trial, remember to take care of yourself x
im not sure how much help I can offer, but I wanted to wish you luck with the pre-trial today.
From what I have read, he could be lucky and be let off with a caution (though that could still lead to being on the SOR for a period of time), or he could have a community sentence rather than custody.
I'm sorry that you are in this situation, and I hope you find a positive outcome.
I also hope to stay with my partner, however his offence appears to have been due to porn addiction which spiralled (WAY) out of control, rather than yours which sounds like it could have been a genuine mistake.
Whatever the outcome of the pre-trial, remember to take care of yourself x
Hi SamLouise
I hope this message finds you well. It sounds like you are giving everything a lot of thought and even questioning what might be going on. This to me, says that you are not naive at all..you’re just looking for answers to try and make sense of a situation that doesn’t make sense or quite add up.
If you have children then I would recommend liaising with social care and ensuring that you are putting your children first in any decisions you make about the relationship. I’m sure you are a wonderful mum and this will always be your priority anyway.
From working a little alongside the police with my current job and what I’ve learned about these types of offences, it is important to keep an open mind about what the offences actually are - have the police disclosed to you what your partner was arrested for or have you received this information via your partner and what he has chosen to share? It is such a complex web of trying to make sense of things but in my own experience my ex partner’s denial about what he had been looking at meant that I didn’t quite have the fullest picture until a bit later on after his arrest nearer to his sentencing. For example, initially he explained it was an adult porn addiction but made out he had only looked at a few indecent images of children over a year when things were difficult. It turned out that this was actually thousands and had been going on since he was in his early twenties, about 18 years.
It might be that your partner is entirely innocent and if this is the case there will be no evidence to suggest otherwise - the technology they have is so highly sophisticated these days. However, just make sure that you and your children are your number one priority and as things progress and become clearer you will be in a better position to make any decision about whether you want the relationship to continue or not.
Take care of yourself and keep asking those questions, speak to the Lucy faithful foundation and posting on here.
Do let us know how things went.
Warmest wishes
Rebecca
I hope this message finds you well. It sounds like you are giving everything a lot of thought and even questioning what might be going on. This to me, says that you are not naive at all..you’re just looking for answers to try and make sense of a situation that doesn’t make sense or quite add up.
If you have children then I would recommend liaising with social care and ensuring that you are putting your children first in any decisions you make about the relationship. I’m sure you are a wonderful mum and this will always be your priority anyway.
From working a little alongside the police with my current job and what I’ve learned about these types of offences, it is important to keep an open mind about what the offences actually are - have the police disclosed to you what your partner was arrested for or have you received this information via your partner and what he has chosen to share? It is such a complex web of trying to make sense of things but in my own experience my ex partner’s denial about what he had been looking at meant that I didn’t quite have the fullest picture until a bit later on after his arrest nearer to his sentencing. For example, initially he explained it was an adult porn addiction but made out he had only looked at a few indecent images of children over a year when things were difficult. It turned out that this was actually thousands and had been going on since he was in his early twenties, about 18 years.
It might be that your partner is entirely innocent and if this is the case there will be no evidence to suggest otherwise - the technology they have is so highly sophisticated these days. However, just make sure that you and your children are your number one priority and as things progress and become clearer you will be in a better position to make any decision about whether you want the relationship to continue or not.
Take care of yourself and keep asking those questions, speak to the Lucy faithful foundation and posting on here.
Do let us know how things went.
Warmest wishes
Rebecca