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He got custodial

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Unknown83

Member since
September 2022

2 posts

Posted Mon September 26, 2022 12:59pmReport post

Where to begin.

so April 2020 my ex husband got the knock. My eldest daughter then 17 was staying at his and watched it all go down.

he admitted his guilt there and then. Was never arrrsted and only questioned twice. catagory A,B & C.

Our lives hung in limbo for 2 years until a few weeks ago. I say our lives as this doesn't just affect him, it affected myself and our 2 daughters. When we divorced back in 2014 we stayed friends. He has always been a constant in the girls lives supporting where he could.



That all changed Thursday. Thursday was his sentencing, the pre sentencing assessment recommended community service. The judge didn't take that advice and sentenced him to 16 months custodial, 10 years on SOR and 5 years digital monitoring. He will serve 8 months. All this despite having 3 good character references, the knowledge that his mother has less than 18 months to live and that his father is ill too an that he is their main support a long with having 2 autistic daughter that would be hugely impacted but a custodial.



Only a handful of people knew. 2 of my trusted friends, his brother & dad and our eldest daughter. We kept this all from our youngest due to the fact she is was then 13 and autistic. She saw her dad each weekend, and that has now been ripped away from her. Telling her her dad has gone to prison for 8 months absolutely broke my heart! She has been battling depression the last year and I have been battling to get her help, having refferal after refferal and now this!



On top of the shock of him receiving a custodial I am the one who has been left to deal with everything. His brother can't keep a job and has gone through every pub in our town ran away to cornwall to a job, escaping before his brothers sentencing in case it hit the media worried about how it'd affect him.

I have been left to sort his flat which he has to give up, pack his belongings, return his financed car, all whilst holding down a full time job and dealing with the emotion and upset my 2 girls are going through whilst having to stay strong for everyone including his mum who is beside herself. I've had her on the phone asking all kinds of questions, questions I don't want to know the answers too.
im angry, sad, upset and in shock, yet I can't help but worry what he is going through.
I was his 1 phone call and I tell you 5 minutes flys by! I've not heard from him since Thursday evening and I have so many questions to ask him about sorting all his finances out etc.

I think the biggest and hardest part is still having to lie to people. I'm dreading when people ask where he is. I'm already having to lie to my work colleagues due to suddenly leaving work, a lie I now need to continue with.



I just don't know how much more stress I can take.

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon September 26, 2022 7:36pmReport post

Ahhh I'm so sorry, this is coming for us now I've a feeling yes gonna get sent down after seeing how bad it was, I think it's just hit me, well both of us that this is all real now. I hope your wee mind settles soon into your new normal

ACompleteMess

Member since
February 2022

57 posts

Posted Mon September 26, 2022 8:06pmReport post

I'm so sorry to hear that he got a custodial. It's always baffled me how you see some people getting a worse sentence than others for relatively the same thing. How can the sentencing be so different?

I've always been somewhat unworried about my oh sentence as during his second interview he was told by police and his solicitor it would either be community or suspended. (He's not gotten his charges yet but will be at least possession of A,B,C but less than 75iioc all together) but the more I've read, the more worried I'm starting to become. I read every single article relating to these crimes that comes in the local media and for the majority I see crimes similar to my oh receive community or suspended but you get the odd one or two that end up with custodial and it's starting to scare me the closer we get. We're expecting his charges to come any time now. It's been nearly 2 months since evidence was sent to CPS so things are really starting to feel real and I'm struggling to cope with the anxiety and worry.