Regretting telling people
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Hi Pregnant and Overwhelmed,
I'm so sorry that your parents haven't been supportive in the situation, it's hard enough as it is having a newborn.
I have an 11 week old and I'm also living apart from my partner which has left me a single parent.
I understand the grieving your old life, I'd love to be a family again and it hurts that we probably won't be, however I know people take different steps but I'm choosing to stay apart.
You've got this! You're doing an amazing job x
I'm so sorry that your parents haven't been supportive in the situation, it's hard enough as it is having a newborn.
I have an 11 week old and I'm also living apart from my partner which has left me a single parent.
I understand the grieving your old life, I'd love to be a family again and it hurts that we probably won't be, however I know people take different steps but I'm choosing to stay apart.
You've got this! You're doing an amazing job x
Hi,
My parents were the same initially, my older children and one of my siblings still are. I think back to my views on the kind of person I would have thought would commit these types of crimes. They don't sit with the type of person my person is but nobody else knows him like I do. My family liked him, welcomed him into their lives and he betrayed that. From a parents perspective if any of my childrens partners put them through the amount of pain he put me through I'd be the first to tell them to walk away or I'd be doing time for inflicting physical pain on the partner.
My baby has her dads surname as one of her middle names and he's not on her birth certificate. I did this to protect her later in life so she's not linked with him like that and people won't find anything on Google by typing his first name and her surname in. Also by not naming him on the birth certificate he doesn't have parental responsibility if anything was to happen to me.
Give your parents time and when he does work on himself let them know. Mine have found it easier to accept my feelings about him by gaining an understanding of how he came to be in this position and that he's put things in place to prevent it from happening again.
In terms of ss and signing stuff they will be suggesting this to minimise stress to you in dealing with them and probably come from a place of trusting professionals to know how to deal with this situation. They will probably be concerned that pushing back may cause ss to make decisions about your child that they will be fearful of as we all are initially. Sending love xx
My parents were the same initially, my older children and one of my siblings still are. I think back to my views on the kind of person I would have thought would commit these types of crimes. They don't sit with the type of person my person is but nobody else knows him like I do. My family liked him, welcomed him into their lives and he betrayed that. From a parents perspective if any of my childrens partners put them through the amount of pain he put me through I'd be the first to tell them to walk away or I'd be doing time for inflicting physical pain on the partner.
My baby has her dads surname as one of her middle names and he's not on her birth certificate. I did this to protect her later in life so she's not linked with him like that and people won't find anything on Google by typing his first name and her surname in. Also by not naming him on the birth certificate he doesn't have parental responsibility if anything was to happen to me.
Give your parents time and when he does work on himself let them know. Mine have found it easier to accept my feelings about him by gaining an understanding of how he came to be in this position and that he's put things in place to prevent it from happening again.
In terms of ss and signing stuff they will be suggesting this to minimise stress to you in dealing with them and probably come from a place of trusting professionals to know how to deal with this situation. They will probably be concerned that pushing back may cause ss to make decisions about your child that they will be fearful of as we all are initially. Sending love xx
How long ago did you tell them? Is your mam of The same opinion? If not maybe she could have a word with this about his opinions and being supportive to you, if not him.
I was a very black and white person before all this too, only with research and education have i broadened my mind. Ask him to read the book The brain and porn and ring the helpline x
I was a very black and white person before all this too, only with research and education have i broadened my mind. Ask him to read the book The brain and porn and ring the helpline x
Honest - give your family time to adjust - their feelings might change - they might not. Everyone goes through the process of dealing with this in different ways x
Believe me I know about this :(
Believe me I know about this :(
What I would say about the birth cert is, if you are unmarried and your baby takes your name. If you later marry her dad and his name is on the birth cert, you can change her name to his. They even re-issue the birth certificate. This is what I did, not because of this situation but for another.