Family and Friends Forum

Annie73

Member since
May 2022

2 posts

my brother was arrested for iioc just before Christmas he had just became a father for the first time. We are devasted especially his wife who trusted him with her life. He went to a homeless unit then a flat outwith the area he was living in he lost his family, job and home. His wife and baby moved away but have since came back, he appeared at court this week for his pleading diet he has pled guilty, the procurator fiscal read out the content of videos he was viewing it was horrible hearing this he is being charged with a,b, and c and distrubtion as he forwarded 3 of these. He has to go back for sentencing after getting background reports this will be in a few weeks, were he will be sentenced. I keep looking back to when he was a child to see if there were any signs but he was a loving son, brother and uncle. I am struggling to understand how this has happened and whenever he is asked he states he doesn't know which I struggle to believe. He has lost most of his family due to this I have went to court with him and helped him secure a flat but he will have to move as the clerk of court read out his address I am struggling to see an end to this I am trying to be strong for him but I feel like giving him a good shake and screaming why have you done this but he suffers from depression and anxiety and I don't want to push him to hurt himself. Is there light at the end of this tunnel ? has anyone came out the other end of this x

Posted Fri September 30, 2022 3:49pmReport post

Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

Bump

Posted Fri September 30, 2022 9:53pmReport post

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

637 posts

Annie73

Sorry that you have found yourself in this position. Your anger at your brother is understandable. I'm sure he appreciates the support you have been giving him, helping find somewhere to live and accompanying him to court. Is he doing anything to help himself, like getting therapy?

It's also important that you look after your own mental health and wellbeing, if your not at your best then it's much harder to support others. I don't think by looking back you are likely to see any signs, unfortunately with the proliferation of porn on the Internet this sort of activity seems very easy to fLl into.

Posted Fri September 30, 2022 10:23pmReport post

ataloss

Member since
September 2022

45 posts

It's my brother too. Fully agree with Bitterbean, and I'm preaching to myself as much as you here, but putting your own mental and physical health first is so so important. You can't pour from an empty cup and it sounds like you're shouldering a lot of the responsibility for his well-being here.

One thing that I needed to remind myself is that we're all adults here. We all make choices. And those choices always have an outcome, good or bad. He's made choices that he no doubt bitterly regrets. You can't fix it for him, that's the part I struggled with most. I'm a fixer!



sending strength and love through this awful time for your family.

Posted Tue October 4, 2022 8:32amReport post

Annie73

Member since
May 2022

2 posts

Thankyou for listening my brother received a custodial sentence of 30 months and indefinitely on the sor on Wednesday we are devasted. he done the courses through stopitnow he attended counselling, he cjsw everything came bk low risk we were expecting a payback order nothing prepared us for this

Thanks again for listening means so much xx

Posted Sat November 12, 2022 10:38am
Edited Sat November 12, 2022 11:13amReport post

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

1192 posts

Sending love and strength to all of you. Hopefully there is a good chance of appeal xxx

Posted Sat November 12, 2022 12:08pmReport post

Christmas Chaos

Member since
May 2022

131 posts

Thanks Distressed the solicitor has started the appeal process already. He's fuming aswel. He spoke to 2 other solicitors who were in the courtroom for other cases and they had heard my husbands sentencing. They also never expected a custodial. Our solicitor said afterwards that if he had been handed a community payback order that nobody in that court room would have batted an eyelid. There was no paperwork in the holding cells after sentencing for my husband because nobody was expecting him to be going to prison including all the court workers and guards etc.

Posted Sun November 13, 2022 10:33amReport post

Quick exit