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Feeling anxious and confused

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Em_bean

Member since
September 2022

38 posts

Posted Fri September 30, 2022 3:50pmReport post

Hi we got the knock on the door Tuesday morning. I was on my way to work when my partner rang me to come home.



I feel like I've been in some nightmare ever since.



they said he tried to report something and that something had been uploaded using his email. I was in shock and didn't take much in. He was taken for questions and the police who stayed collected devices.



A few hours later the detective rang me as he said he would to tell me what was the now situation. He said my partner had saved and uploaded to report images. That he was on bail with conditions of not living in our home with me and the kids or spending time with children unsupervised. So we complied.

The detective sent me the stop it now leaflet which brought me here. He also told me to ignore a lot of the serious crime stuff as my partners stuff was the lowest end of the scale for his charges.



my partner and me have spoken while the kids have been at school. He said what the detective said to me.



Then yesterday the social worker rang and said images had been found on his phone that's why he was charged and I was like how could they have found stuff on his phone before they'd even taken him in and collected devices.

I told my partner so he rang the detective and the detective said his devices had only just been sent to the place that checks them.



I don't know why the SW said that if the cop and my husband have said nothing.



I want to believe my partner that he was just trying to report stuff.

The social workers have thrown me and made me feel awful.



im worried my ex partner won't allow our eldest (12) to stay with us even if my partner is only found to have been trying to do the right thing.

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

635 posts

Posted Fri September 30, 2022 10:46pmReport post

Hi em_bean

I think many of us here would recognise your position, not knowing who or what to believe and having no one to discuss it with. It seems even worse when it is your partner that you would normally confide in or turn to for support and then all of a sudden they are the source of the problem, and someone you feel you can no longer trust or quite believe.

For nearly everyone her the truth comes out eventually (although some of us feel we may never really get to know the truth where the facts are disputed and the evidence debatable) but the waiting in between times seems interminable.

I have to say it seems bizarre to me that the law is drafted such that people reporting illegal images that have been sent to them, or people who receive images unsolicited, are still treated like criminals. It seems the law was written by people who don't really understand how the Internet, mobile phones and social media work.

Em_bean

Member since
September 2022

38 posts

Posted Fri October 14, 2022 1:08pmReport post

Exactly like when I told my daughters dad cos I wanted him to head about it from me not someone else or the sw he was like omg that could happen to anyone like I remember someone shared something in a chat room and i still worry about police knocking at my door.

you're right they just want to take everyone down who downloaded it etc even if it wasn't on purpose. Like my partner said I'll never download films again cos people just share files for latest releases. He's also like it's bringing back the trauma of what he saw too.

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri October 14, 2022 1:22pmReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Em_bean

Member since
September 2022

38 posts

Posted Fri October 14, 2022 6:06pmReport post

Yeah they said to my oh it can take a while especially as he's low priority due to low severity.



im hoping he can come stay somewhere close by soon so we can see him more even if he's not living at home. Atm he's at his folks and that's a 4 hour drive for him.

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Sat October 15, 2022 5:39amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am