Bail to RUI
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Baby's dad had his bail conditions removed, the police told me this was on condition of a written agreement drawn up with social services. Both agencies have said they're confident im a protective factor. SS said they will close the case and it was 'our choice' if we want a written agreement (the police did not give this impression). We have asked to go ahead with written agreement as per police request.
Firstly, is it good news bail was removed? He is now RUI. Police officer said phone was clean but they need to thoroughly check his computer and this could take months. Not great news but pretty standard it seems.
secondly, what will be in this written agreement? No unsupervised contact I imagine? Which is basically bail conditions?! This whole thing confuses me so much. I'm still sticking to baby's dad not living here and no unsupervised contact for my own piece of mind until I find out exactly what he's done, however, we are both in the dark about what will be in this agreement and how long it will be in place for. He's desperate to be a family unit again as we have a newborn, but for now I'm very much keeping him at arms length and never alone with our baby.
Firstly, is it good news bail was removed? He is now RUI. Police officer said phone was clean but they need to thoroughly check his computer and this could take months. Not great news but pretty standard it seems.
secondly, what will be in this written agreement? No unsupervised contact I imagine? Which is basically bail conditions?! This whole thing confuses me so much. I'm still sticking to baby's dad not living here and no unsupervised contact for my own piece of mind until I find out exactly what he's done, however, we are both in the dark about what will be in this agreement and how long it will be in place for. He's desperate to be a family unit again as we have a newborn, but for now I'm very much keeping him at arms length and never alone with our baby.
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Yes I've been reading this evening about how it removes any time constraints on the polices part. I was just shocked that SS were willing to close the case even without the written agreement. I could've just moved him back in based off of that (not that I want to at the moment as although I want to believe what he's told me has happened there is still doubt there and baby is my priority).
From reading posts on here, these cases vary so much and outcomes equally vary it's hard to draw any conclusions as to what 'might' happen, the one thing I do know is that we all feel the same torture of the unknown whilst devices take 'months' to be checked. It's like our lives and the fact they're on hold don't matter, but I do appreciate there's a huge backlog.
From reading posts on here, these cases vary so much and outcomes equally vary it's hard to draw any conclusions as to what 'might' happen, the one thing I do know is that we all feel the same torture of the unknown whilst devices take 'months' to be checked. It's like our lives and the fact they're on hold don't matter, but I do appreciate there's a huge backlog.
While on bail Did ss interview both yourself and oh? And then provide a report which gives their opinion of whether they see him as low risk very low risk etc to own child?
I’m interested in this written plan you mention as I’ve not heard of this and like you wonder if others have experienced it. When moving from bail to Rui
Like you my oh was on bail but ours was extended. No living at address, only supervised visit with kids and no contact under 18. During bail ss did provide report which noted very low risk to own children. Not sure if this is normal eg others have this? And/or how this can factor in future?
Then after 4 months moved to RUI. Like you I was unsure if this was good or not. Like daffodil says it removes the time bound element the police were working on. So for me it has made the limbo feel like if could go on for much longer but who knows!
Like you I kept the set up re oh not staying at property, supervises access with kids etc. SS have not got back involved since the change. I guess like you they are content with my approach.
The change to RUi provides more control to you if you do feel in time more comfortable then you may feel able to change approach as you feel best. Which you may feel is positive. Although as I said not sure how the written report you get works. Or if it’s the same as what I had while on bail.
Big hugs. You have a lot on plate with baby and all this to contend with. Stay strong x
I’m interested in this written plan you mention as I’ve not heard of this and like you wonder if others have experienced it. When moving from bail to Rui
Like you my oh was on bail but ours was extended. No living at address, only supervised visit with kids and no contact under 18. During bail ss did provide report which noted very low risk to own children. Not sure if this is normal eg others have this? And/or how this can factor in future?
Then after 4 months moved to RUI. Like you I was unsure if this was good or not. Like daffodil says it removes the time bound element the police were working on. So for me it has made the limbo feel like if could go on for much longer but who knows!
Like you I kept the set up re oh not staying at property, supervises access with kids etc. SS have not got back involved since the change. I guess like you they are content with my approach.
The change to RUi provides more control to you if you do feel in time more comfortable then you may feel able to change approach as you feel best. Which you may feel is positive. Although as I said not sure how the written report you get works. Or if it’s the same as what I had while on bail.
Big hugs. You have a lot on plate with baby and all this to contend with. Stay strong x
My son was RUI in June 2021 and all devices seized and p/w given
Absolutely nothing since then from police
It is killing me to be honest ????
Absolutely nothing since then from police
It is killing me to be honest ????