Just need someone to listen
Notifications OFF
Quick recap, OH arrested & sentenced in three weeks. We are still only 3.5 months from the knock. No devices returned even though ordered by the judge. Very little contact with the visor which in one sense good but means we are getting no answers concerning our devices.
OH appeared OK when doing his community service. He has lost his job and this gave him a purpose. But he completed in in about 4 weeks. On the plus my garden has never looked so good but he works out there so long he is physcially in pain. He is disabled which does not help.
I am torn. He is getting more and more depressed as time goes on. He is suicidal and still has dark thoughts. It is his birthday soon and he says he does not want to celebrate nor have any recognition on his day. My children say they might not get him a present anyway, He does not know they said this. I am just so sad at what this has come to. I know i am supposed to be focusing on me but my family will only show scorn if i show any concern for him which is why i have no one to talk to. I am in the process of trying to speak to his sister whi is supportive of him but she lives miles away and works long hours. My instinct is to cheer him up and make a big fuss like i always do, but even if i manage this if the children (all adults) do not take part it might make things worse. I am just grieving for yet another thing that will never be the same. This is making me feel really down. I am so scared he will do somehting stupid. He is already under the gp, the mental health team state he is not suicidal enough to be monitored by them. He will not go for counselling as he says the visits to the probabtion office is enough. His mother is also very ill but he wont go and visit her, she lives over 100 miles away, as he is afraid of doing something wrong on his sor or shpo. This has always been a problem for me as i am suffering with my mental health while going through this with him. I cannot help this is making me sad.
i just needed to write this down and for someone to listen to me. Thank you. X
OH appeared OK when doing his community service. He has lost his job and this gave him a purpose. But he completed in in about 4 weeks. On the plus my garden has never looked so good but he works out there so long he is physcially in pain. He is disabled which does not help.
I am torn. He is getting more and more depressed as time goes on. He is suicidal and still has dark thoughts. It is his birthday soon and he says he does not want to celebrate nor have any recognition on his day. My children say they might not get him a present anyway, He does not know they said this. I am just so sad at what this has come to. I know i am supposed to be focusing on me but my family will only show scorn if i show any concern for him which is why i have no one to talk to. I am in the process of trying to speak to his sister whi is supportive of him but she lives miles away and works long hours. My instinct is to cheer him up and make a big fuss like i always do, but even if i manage this if the children (all adults) do not take part it might make things worse. I am just grieving for yet another thing that will never be the same. This is making me feel really down. I am so scared he will do somehting stupid. He is already under the gp, the mental health team state he is not suicidal enough to be monitored by them. He will not go for counselling as he says the visits to the probabtion office is enough. His mother is also very ill but he wont go and visit her, she lives over 100 miles away, as he is afraid of doing something wrong on his sor or shpo. This has always been a problem for me as i am suffering with my mental health while going through this with him. I cannot help this is making me sad.
i just needed to write this down and for someone to listen to me. Thank you. X
I'm listening Webb - my heart goes out to you / not much advice but I understand your struggles as you try to support everyone in this and sadly us mums tend to be bottom of that list.... it's so damn hard....
one humongous cuddle sent xxxx
one humongous cuddle sent xxxx
Post deleted
Thank you both. I have Completed 6 weeks of counselling through my work. I am continuing this but will be fornightly to once a month as I now have to pay and money is tight.
He will not go to see anyone as he says he is fine.
It is a good point though that I should respect his wishes. It is his birthday after all. Perhaps I should do just that.
Your comments have been very welcome. It is in the early hours of the morning (as i do not sleep well) that it alwayd hits me the hardest.
He will not go to see anyone as he says he is fine.
It is a good point though that I should respect his wishes. It is his birthday after all. Perhaps I should do just that.
Your comments have been very welcome. It is in the early hours of the morning (as i do not sleep well) that it alwayd hits me the hardest.