I can’t believe it - new to this
Notifications OFF
We got the knock a couple of weeks ago, early in the morning on the Sept. I was asleep as we have a baby so I try nap where I can. Husband came in to wake me up and said the police were here. I went into the living room and was shocked to see maybe 5 officers.
It was explained that our IP address from our previous house was flagged as iioc was uploaded onto a file sharing app (MEGA) back in March 2020. I believe it was 28 Cat A videos/images. My husband and I were shocked, didn't know anything of this. Around this time we had my brother stay with us as he was homeless, and my sister-in-law had also stayed with us but can't remember when exactly. We were asked if we had this specific app and we both said no, again just in pure shock. Meanwhile more officers came in searching the house and our devices. Husband was arrested on suspicion as they saw that his phone had in the past had the app installed. We'd forgotten that he had downloaded it around the time of my baby being born as I took so many pictures/videos I was running out of space on my phone, but decided to buy iCloud storage instead. He's more tech savvy so I let him look into the apps etc.
Social services were called and they arrived a few hours later. I explained to them that I was in shock etc, the possibility that it could have been my brother? Obviously not what they wanted to hear, I could tell from their faces so I didn't say it again and would repeatedly say that my baby is my priority, my baby means everything to me, and the safety of my baby.
Husband was released on bail, we had a major heart to heart, any stupid little thing we kept from each other was out in the open. He maintains his innocence and I believe him, it looks bad on him as he works in the tech field but he isn't so tech savvy that he's able to alter the forensics of a computer/phone etc. Conditions of bail is that he's not allowed at our house, nor unsupervised contact with our baby but I'm allowed to supervise it myself.
I'd asked the social worker about the possibility of supervised contact within my own home as it'd make it much easier on me and my baby so that we don't have to travel everyday to see husband. I don't see why it wouldn't be allowed as I'm supervising in someone else's home when it's just my husband, baby and myself. I've made it clear I wouldn't leave them unsupervised, and that husband wouldn't stay the night. I also have repeatedly said I understand the risks, how serious and disgusting this allegation is, and that my baby comes before everyone else.
Now we have a child protection conference in a few days time and I don't know what to expect or say. It's my biggest fear as I was in the system as a child.
Can anyone help or been in a similar situation?
It was explained that our IP address from our previous house was flagged as iioc was uploaded onto a file sharing app (MEGA) back in March 2020. I believe it was 28 Cat A videos/images. My husband and I were shocked, didn't know anything of this. Around this time we had my brother stay with us as he was homeless, and my sister-in-law had also stayed with us but can't remember when exactly. We were asked if we had this specific app and we both said no, again just in pure shock. Meanwhile more officers came in searching the house and our devices. Husband was arrested on suspicion as they saw that his phone had in the past had the app installed. We'd forgotten that he had downloaded it around the time of my baby being born as I took so many pictures/videos I was running out of space on my phone, but decided to buy iCloud storage instead. He's more tech savvy so I let him look into the apps etc.
Social services were called and they arrived a few hours later. I explained to them that I was in shock etc, the possibility that it could have been my brother? Obviously not what they wanted to hear, I could tell from their faces so I didn't say it again and would repeatedly say that my baby is my priority, my baby means everything to me, and the safety of my baby.
Husband was released on bail, we had a major heart to heart, any stupid little thing we kept from each other was out in the open. He maintains his innocence and I believe him, it looks bad on him as he works in the tech field but he isn't so tech savvy that he's able to alter the forensics of a computer/phone etc. Conditions of bail is that he's not allowed at our house, nor unsupervised contact with our baby but I'm allowed to supervise it myself.
I'd asked the social worker about the possibility of supervised contact within my own home as it'd make it much easier on me and my baby so that we don't have to travel everyday to see husband. I don't see why it wouldn't be allowed as I'm supervising in someone else's home when it's just my husband, baby and myself. I've made it clear I wouldn't leave them unsupervised, and that husband wouldn't stay the night. I also have repeatedly said I understand the risks, how serious and disgusting this allegation is, and that my baby comes before everyone else.
Now we have a child protection conference in a few days time and I don't know what to expect or say. It's my biggest fear as I was in the system as a child.
Can anyone help or been in a similar situation?
A very different situation to yours, but my husband has the same conditions, and our social worker has agreed supervised contact in our home. If you can present clearly thought-out reasoning, I've found them to be reasonable, but I know that isn't always the case. My kids are teens though, so they can advocate for themselves.
I hope you find out what happened soon. It must be such a worry for you both. And the waiting is hell, be prepared, nothing happens quickly.
I hope you find out what happened soon. It must be such a worry for you both. And the waiting is hell, be prepared, nothing happens quickly.
I don't wish to scare you but I think you should be prepared. I wanted to supervise my OH in our home and really pushed for it. We have ended up on a Child Protection Plan. I do wonder if I hadn't pushed so hard maybe we would have ended up on a Child In Need Plan.
The main difference between the 2 plans being the number of time a SW will visit. I find their visits very triggering so having them in my home every w weeks is very traumatic for me.
Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Make it clear to your OH that he may not like the way you talk to Children's Services, because they need to hear you talk about the safety of your child, not that you believe you OH.
I hope I haven't scared you, it's just if I could give any advise so that no-one is in my situation I will.
Good luck x
The main difference between the 2 plans being the number of time a SW will visit. I find their visits very triggering so having them in my home every w weeks is very traumatic for me.
Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Make it clear to your OH that he may not like the way you talk to Children's Services, because they need to hear you talk about the safety of your child, not that you believe you OH.
I hope I haven't scared you, it's just if I could give any advise so that no-one is in my situation I will.
Good luck x
I got some kind of good news yesterday, they don't have enough evidence to suggest that my baby is at significant risk and so cancelled the child protection conference. But they are putting a child in need plan in place, and set out a safety plan. They are also going to carry out a risk assessment in the near future. They've also warned if the bail conditions or safety plan is breached then they would look at escalating it to the courts to take my baby away.
The police said that social services set out the bail conditions, they said this to me and my husband from day 1, soon after my husband was arrested. The social worker we have keeps saying it's the police (but I don't believe this). Seems I can't get a straight answer, SW keeps saying he'll check that with his boss - but he never does.
He is due to answer bail next week, but we've been told our devices could take up to 4 months (it's only been 3 weeks so far). I know it sounds silly but it's supposed to be our baby's first Christmas and I was so looking forward to it, now I'm dreading it.
The police said that social services set out the bail conditions, they said this to me and my husband from day 1, soon after my husband was arrested. The social worker we have keeps saying it's the police (but I don't believe this). Seems I can't get a straight answer, SW keeps saying he'll check that with his boss - but he never does.
He is due to answer bail next week, but we've been told our devices could take up to 4 months (it's only been 3 weeks so far). I know it sounds silly but it's supposed to be our baby's first Christmas and I was so looking forward to it, now I'm dreading it.
Post deleted by user
Kat1 thank you, I'm glad (but also sorry) that someone's gone through a similar thing so I'm not so alone in this.
Everytime I see or speak to the social worker I make it extremely clear that I'm a protective factor when it comes to my baby, that I put my baby first and I am aware of the risks. Better safe than sorry approach when it comes to social services. They are talking about whether my partner could come to the house for a set amount of time each day as we share a car, I've explained it'll be easier for me to do things such as the food shop if we were able to go together. They are also wanting a support system put in place, I've only told my parents what's going on and they will be there if I do need help but SS seem to want this in writing/make it more official by talking to my parents themselves!
They also keep asking me about nursery, but that's not something I'm wanting to do for a long while as I'm a stay at home mum so no need for it. I think it's because they want more professionals in my baby's life so that they have them there if they do a CPP. At the moment they've only got GP & health visitor, HV made it known to me that she has no concerns regarding the health and well-being of my baby.
Can I ask about your situation regarding your partner/investigation if you feel comfortable sharing? You're the first person I've seen on here that has mentioned MEGA also.
Everytime I see or speak to the social worker I make it extremely clear that I'm a protective factor when it comes to my baby, that I put my baby first and I am aware of the risks. Better safe than sorry approach when it comes to social services. They are talking about whether my partner could come to the house for a set amount of time each day as we share a car, I've explained it'll be easier for me to do things such as the food shop if we were able to go together. They are also wanting a support system put in place, I've only told my parents what's going on and they will be there if I do need help but SS seem to want this in writing/make it more official by talking to my parents themselves!
They also keep asking me about nursery, but that's not something I'm wanting to do for a long while as I'm a stay at home mum so no need for it. I think it's because they want more professionals in my baby's life so that they have them there if they do a CPP. At the moment they've only got GP & health visitor, HV made it known to me that she has no concerns regarding the health and well-being of my baby.
Can I ask about your situation regarding your partner/investigation if you feel comfortable sharing? You're the first person I've seen on here that has mentioned MEGA also.
Post deleted by user