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Nearly the end

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scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 11:29amReport post

My oh got the knock June last year for iioc fast forward to start of September this year he had his second interview they said 2-6 months for CPS decision. Friday afternoon he had a call to attend today his been given 3 charges for "making" because they can't say where they've come from but can see they have been downloaded one for cat A B and C Magistrates in two weeks time.

I just wondered if anybody else is at this stage is this normal I really don't know what to expect? I maybe taking a load of rubbish because I don't know how to process this at the moment I thought I had more time from the time frame



Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Edited Mon October 17, 2022 11:30am

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 1:02pmReport post

My person person had plea hearing this morning via zoom he pled guilty to charges, prosicution read the first part of evidence then he pled guilty to 3 counts of attempted sex communication with a minor.hes now away to sign the sor. They are all worded different can't remember. He said it lasted 10 mins. He felt like shit and I had to work in a bag of nerves but uts over now they are trying yo push sentencing by end of month as they've collected almost all mitigating factors such as work he's done, his mental health, character statements from various people including me. So after this consentrate on getting all those things together to give him the best outcome. It's a terrifying time I k ow xx

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 1:32pmReport post

Thankyou.i just keep thinking at the moment how do I tell my boys there dad's suddenly gone incase of custodial sentence it's my little ones 4th birthday in a months time. I just suddenly can't cope even though I new it would be happening at some point

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 2:18pmReport post

I feel the exact same. I don't know how you lady's with little ones cope but I'm sure you'll get through it. There's a charity call children seen and heard that will give you advise on how to tell children age appropriate whars going on so give them a ring and be prepared. I'm juat telling myself he's getting sent down, even though I k ow it's gonna kill me on the day if he does least I'm in that mindset. If he gets suspended then it's a bonus. Out of our hands now sweetheart x

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 2:39pmReport post

I'm also covering worst case my oh is looking at all possibilities. I've already emailed a few of the places his on waiting list for to see if they can send something to show his trying his also about to start the inform course but it's been postponed so starts the day before magistrates but at least it shows his doing it. We unfortunately had to stop the therapy because it's was about 15 miles from home and with his work he could never make any of the appointments latest being 5 and him most times working until at least that. Just hoping it's not going to go against him. We have just found out we can give money to stop it now for them to say his been communicating with them too which helps. Thankyou for that I will look into it I haven't heard of them. My children are are 2 and 3 so too young to understand any of it at the moment my oldest just thinks daddy works at night aswell as the day time

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 2:52pmReport post

My person did lots of therapy over the phone via facetime and watsap, as we were still in kickdown after his arrest. I'm sure they'll see he's making an effort. We are near the finish line now honey and as scary as thatsis I'm hoping be a relief too, for everyone xx

Life feels over

Member since
September 2022

412 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 3:17pmReport post

I'm returning to work tomorrow, we have Crown in 3 weeks. He's plead not guilty so far. We are preparing for worst case senario and hoping for better. Having a conversation with him last night about selling the car 'just in case' to give me a financial buffer was awful and having to suggest he write his notice for work that I can send in 'if the worst happens'. I still feel like it's all happening to someone else. Despite reading everything I can I still don't fully understand the legal process, I've chosen to trust that what he's told me so far is true, I've chosen to not know the details of his 'conversation' with the adult police decoy and I am not going to court. Part of me wants it all to be over so we can move on from this 15 month nightmare which ever way it goes but the other part of me wants to pretend it's not happening and hide.




Sending strength to you all x

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 4:06pmReport post

Life feels over. I thi k it's totally your choice weather to read evidence or not, I feel. Exact same. As if our life is on a TV show or book. I read the evidence and it was one of the hardest things I've ever rid, but I'm glad I did it. I'm. Not going to court as I've had enough trauma and coukdnt cope seeing him taken away but I'm gonna meet him b4, and Puck him up after if by some miracle he doesn't get sent down. Good luck for your trail it will be over b4 you k ow it I promise xc

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 4:17pmReport post

I'm glad I'm not the only one that doesn't understand all of this. I hope it goes ok I think my oh will be just before yours x



Your doing all you can. You are very brave reading it. I don't think they realise how much stress this is and how much strength we are having to use to get through all of this. I don't want to read it but tbf at his second interview they went into detail of a few pictures and in made him explain to me what they described so I think I will stick at that as I don't want any more information in my head and he was honest enough to tell me x

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 4:50pmReport post

Yes honey do what's right for you. I honestly think if we all get through this we can get through anything and hopfully have a brand new, even better life after urs finished. I k ow mine and my person's isn't certain but we are stronger than ever.

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 6:00pmReport post

If all else fails the shop sells wine ????

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

635 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 7:40pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed November 8, 2023 6:57pm

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 7:51pmReport post

Brilliant, I'd be hving plenty of wine at the weekend lol

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 7:52pmReport post

Bitterne an you've a long way to go, just try and enjoy this time to connect xx

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 7:54pmReport post

It's really hard isn't it. One day your thinking your having a good couple of days and then next it hits you in the face all over again.

I don't know how you are coping with having to wait until next year. In a way I wish this wasn't all happening so fast I think it's thrown me more feeling so rushed I was expecting at least a months wait for magistrates instead we have two weeks to work our heads out and get everything together that he needs.

Thankyou newlady also mentioned there I am going to look into it

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 7:55pmReport post

Newlady I didn't sleep last night properly with this and my two year old wanting me at 3.30 in the morning I'm tempted to have a glass to hopefully knock me out for a few hours

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 8:03pmReport post

Scared go for it, relax you deserve some self care xx

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 8:13pmReport post

I think we all do today it's seems like everyone's going through it x

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 8:16pmReport post

I just had a bubble bath that was my dmsrkf care heading to bed with my book hope3ill sleep tonight, hope you do too xx

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Mon October 17, 2022 8:17pmReport post

Thankyou I hope you do too x