Holiday
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Hi, I'm just after some advise on our holiday we've had booked since covid after being cancelled so many times..
husband arrested 11 weeks ago for iioc, SS involved closed our case after agreeing I can supervise visits as long as not in family home, he has been bailed twice and now from Tuesday RUI so now it's looking like he is very much able to come on our family holiday in 3 weeks.
SS have now got back in contact wanting to know what I'm going to do now he is legally allowed to come home and go on holiday. Iv told her Iv decided to not let him back home as I don't want it to mess our 2 children (11 and 9) around him coming and then probably going again. But I do want him to come on holiday with us, and our girls desperately want him to.
If he comes with us will SS be a nightmare with us afterwards and make our life's a nightmare? Can they cause issues for me? Do they have a leg to stand on as he can legally go. Our SW has already told my children he has been inappropriate online without telling me she was going to, she didn't even tell me afterwards. I only found out as my youngest asked him on FaceTime. She also referred me to a support team telling them my husband has left me in financial strain, which I'm really confused about as Iv never said anything about struggling financially.
does anyone know how long RUI can last? I just want this all over now so I can get on with our lives.
husband arrested 11 weeks ago for iioc, SS involved closed our case after agreeing I can supervise visits as long as not in family home, he has been bailed twice and now from Tuesday RUI so now it's looking like he is very much able to come on our family holiday in 3 weeks.
SS have now got back in contact wanting to know what I'm going to do now he is legally allowed to come home and go on holiday. Iv told her Iv decided to not let him back home as I don't want it to mess our 2 children (11 and 9) around him coming and then probably going again. But I do want him to come on holiday with us, and our girls desperately want him to.
If he comes with us will SS be a nightmare with us afterwards and make our life's a nightmare? Can they cause issues for me? Do they have a leg to stand on as he can legally go. Our SW has already told my children he has been inappropriate online without telling me she was going to, she didn't even tell me afterwards. I only found out as my youngest asked him on FaceTime. She also referred me to a support team telling them my husband has left me in financial strain, which I'm really confused about as Iv never said anything about struggling financially.
does anyone know how long RUI can last? I just want this all over now so I can get on with our lives.
Ohh please complain about that SW, firstly disclosing info to children without your consent and she's obviously getting you mixed up with someone else if finances haven't been mentioned! Sure she needs your consent to refer you as well?
are you on a CIN or CPP plan?
it's a tricky one as legally no restrictions, but when it comes to your safety plan/SS I think that's different. my SW suggested my partner slept elsewhere or booked 2 different apartments! (We hadn't actually spoke about going on holiday she said she was just mentioning it incase we wanted a holiday!) despite no restrictions, and like you it was my choice not to let him move back in until post sentencing.
I would suggest emailing your SW so you have something in writing just saying you've had this holiday booked before all this, the children desperately want their dad to come, you will lose money if you cancel, you haven't made a decision about the future but you are supporting him and it would be good for you all. Would there be any issues with this?
he would also need to let police know if he was going away too x
are you on a CIN or CPP plan?
it's a tricky one as legally no restrictions, but when it comes to your safety plan/SS I think that's different. my SW suggested my partner slept elsewhere or booked 2 different apartments! (We hadn't actually spoke about going on holiday she said she was just mentioning it incase we wanted a holiday!) despite no restrictions, and like you it was my choice not to let him move back in until post sentencing.
I would suggest emailing your SW so you have something in writing just saying you've had this holiday booked before all this, the children desperately want their dad to come, you will lose money if you cancel, you haven't made a decision about the future but you are supporting him and it would be good for you all. Would there be any issues with this?
he would also need to let police know if he was going away too x
My oh is on bail since June last year we've been on 3 holidays his not allowed to stay over night so we booked him into a b&b the once and premier Inn the other two times. We just sent details of where he would be staying and same for us and haven't had any issues any of the times
We are on a CIN plan
I hope this helps
We are on a CIN plan
I hope this helps
Thank you for replying, we're not on any plan she said she didn't feel the need to put us on one. She thought his bail would be extended, so I guess she panicked when he was RUI. I did suggest I would look at booking a separate hotel room but it's coming up over thousands of pounds just for one room.
The police know about the holiday, they asked me if I had any holidays booked when they came to search our home, his solicitor also applied for permission whilst he was on bail which they said no. But now he is on RUI the OIC did tell him he still has to stick to bail conditions, which his solicitor went mad at and send an email telling them they can not do that and they can't stop him going on holiday.... he then spoke to OIC boss and he said she's made a mistake and he no longer will have any bail conditions.
Iv told my SW that Iv not decided what I want to do with our relationship, before I make any decisions I want to see all the evidence. Plus I found out he is bisexual and cheated on me with men, which is quite hard to deal with. But he is my children's dad and they love and adore him so I'll alway support him.
The police know about the holiday, they asked me if I had any holidays booked when they came to search our home, his solicitor also applied for permission whilst he was on bail which they said no. But now he is on RUI the OIC did tell him he still has to stick to bail conditions, which his solicitor went mad at and send an email telling them they can not do that and they can't stop him going on holiday.... he then spoke to OIC boss and he said she's made a mistake and he no longer will have any bail conditions.
Iv told my SW that Iv not decided what I want to do with our relationship, before I make any decisions I want to see all the evidence. Plus I found out he is bisexual and cheated on me with men, which is quite hard to deal with. But he is my children's dad and they love and adore him so I'll alway support him.
Is he allowed to be over night with the children?
There's no police restrictions now on him being in our home with children here, but our safety plan says he can't have over night stays in the same house.
The SW said she can't stop him going on holiday but if he does anything to our children then it's my fault and I have to do what's best for us. She had closed the case and said she wouldnt be back till the end when she needs to risk assess him after his sentencing.
The SW said she can't stop him going on holiday but if he does anything to our children then it's my fault and I have to do what's best for us. She had closed the case and said she wouldnt be back till the end when she needs to risk assess him after his sentencing.
I'd maybe try book somewhere cheap if it's possible social can't say you have put the children in danger then because it is something they would come out with
Hi,
What type of room are you staying in? Is it a family room or separate bedroom for the children?
Is it possible to have the children in with you and for their dad to sleep in one of the single beds?
Ss have no consistent way of dealing with these cases so it's hard to say what actions, if any they would take moving forward.
If you can write a safety plan for while you're away and send it to your sw or keep it typed up so it's dated and you can prove that you had done your own risk assessment for the holiday. I hope you're able to go and have a lovely time xxx
What type of room are you staying in? Is it a family room or separate bedroom for the children?
Is it possible to have the children in with you and for their dad to sleep in one of the single beds?
Ss have no consistent way of dealing with these cases so it's hard to say what actions, if any they would take moving forward.
If you can write a safety plan for while you're away and send it to your sw or keep it typed up so it's dated and you can prove that you had done your own risk assessment for the holiday. I hope you're able to go and have a lovely time xxx