It just gets worse!!!!
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This is terrible, I'm so sorry its happened. That's such shoddy work especially when the stakes are so so high.
I hope you find an avenue that will help use this to your advantage or at least able to redeem the impact of their shoddy work.
How long is it until trial?
I hope you find an avenue that will help use this to your advantage or at least able to redeem the impact of their shoddy work.
How long is it until trial?
Thanks SAL, it's just an absolute joke. I'm really going to lose my rag as well with my partner if he doesn't get his ass up and do what I've told him to, he had to call in sick due to the late notice about the pre-trial and I understand it's stressful and traumatic but it'll be much worse if he loses his case. I've basically told him if he doesn't help himself now and the case doesn't go his way that I am not staying with him, I'm giving him all the tools to help and he's acting like an invalid. I've told him he needs to get up and secure new representation NOW and not later yet he's moping on the sofa!!!! I'm going to flip at him any second LOL!
It's the first week in December so time is of the essence and I assume if he gets decent representation they may push for an adjournment so they can tidy up all the mess from the nitwits he's previously had. I can't believe how rubbish the system is in this country! Xx
It's the first week in December so time is of the essence and I assume if he gets decent representation they may push for an adjournment so they can tidy up all the mess from the nitwits he's previously had. I can't believe how rubbish the system is in this country! Xx
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Thanks Dafodil. I've finished having my tantrum now after seeing my partner was actually lying down looking for other solicitors and has started to call them. It's absolutely disgusting, I am prepared for them to come back with a load of tripe in their response but they haven't got a leg to stand on. We will definitely be looking to take this further once we've found someone who actually wants to do their job. Xx
I can sympathise with your frustration at your person. Whilst my person didn't have cause to kick his legal team into action, he also didn't drive or question too much else, he took their word for everything. I was side swept by the whole thing that I couldn't be as proactive as you are, but I do remember thinking - Your whole life is about to change! The effort needs to go in now.
Really hope he gets his act into gear. It's so hard when we want to help out loved ones but we can't do it all.
Really hope he gets his act into gear. It's so hard when we want to help out loved ones but we can't do it all.
BaffledB
I don't know what it is with these guys, sometimes they seem to have their head in the sand like they're hoping nothing is happening and if they don't look it will all go away. My partner needed chivvying along to get proper legal representation, and he often seems really reluctant to chase them up if they are slow, or challenge them if they don't do what they have promised. I don't know how to cure them of this, the penny doesn't seem to drop until its too late.
As for the legal folk - well I worry that a lot of those defending people accused of these crimes have prejudices and biases of their own and to my mind, if they can't be impartial, they shouldn't be be doing the job. I often wonder if this being late for appointments or not being adequately prepared is some sort of passive-aggressive or subconscious protest at having to defend something they consider at a deeper level to be indefensible. There could also be something going on whereby they are worried if they successfully defend their client, or do too good a job in mitigation, they might be accused of "enabling" and become targets themselves. I guess this is where going to an expensive form that specialises in defending these types of offences pays off. Hopefully.
Anyhow, I hope you do manage to get better representation for your person, I too have similar nightmares about him being convicted from time to time. Like you, I feel that our relationship might not survive this. Its already been damaged to the point I feel it will never be the same. I feel like we have a "pretend" relationship. Often I still can't believe this is actually happening to me.
I don't know what it is with these guys, sometimes they seem to have their head in the sand like they're hoping nothing is happening and if they don't look it will all go away. My partner needed chivvying along to get proper legal representation, and he often seems really reluctant to chase them up if they are slow, or challenge them if they don't do what they have promised. I don't know how to cure them of this, the penny doesn't seem to drop until its too late.
As for the legal folk - well I worry that a lot of those defending people accused of these crimes have prejudices and biases of their own and to my mind, if they can't be impartial, they shouldn't be be doing the job. I often wonder if this being late for appointments or not being adequately prepared is some sort of passive-aggressive or subconscious protest at having to defend something they consider at a deeper level to be indefensible. There could also be something going on whereby they are worried if they successfully defend their client, or do too good a job in mitigation, they might be accused of "enabling" and become targets themselves. I guess this is where going to an expensive form that specialises in defending these types of offences pays off. Hopefully.
Anyhow, I hope you do manage to get better representation for your person, I too have similar nightmares about him being convicted from time to time. Like you, I feel that our relationship might not survive this. Its already been damaged to the point I feel it will never be the same. I feel like we have a "pretend" relationship. Often I still can't believe this is actually happening to me.
SAL -
It's annoying isn't it, I am sure that had you been aware of things you would have been amazing help to your person but I know you only learnt about much of it when it was likely too late to do much. Your person is very lucky to have you or have had you - whatever capacity it is.
Bitterbean -
I think we are very much in similar positions. It's very true what you say, I genuinely believe it is a case of, well if I don't poke the lion he will forget about me and unfortunately we need to poke that lion and fight it.
I do believe many of them have bias but if that is the case then they shouldn't be doing the job. We've already had statements from them which make us believe they don't think he is innocent and that is worrying, anyone reading the evidence with it in their head that it was my partner is going to think that but if you read the evidence without thinking it is him then the defence becomes very obvious - it wasn't him!
It's really worrying and I feel very much the same as you, we are living pretend. I guess at least we are aware of our feelings and in that sense are preparing for the worst - although I am sure nothing can prepare us. I often think that all the time, I think if people actually knew what was going on they would think it was a wind up. Thank you. I hope your partner gets a bit of oomph about this too. I think I have finally gotten it into mine that he'll be looking at at least 2 years jail time and a lifetime on the SOR if this goes to pot! That seemed to put some urgency into him lol!
xx
It's annoying isn't it, I am sure that had you been aware of things you would have been amazing help to your person but I know you only learnt about much of it when it was likely too late to do much. Your person is very lucky to have you or have had you - whatever capacity it is.
Bitterbean -
I think we are very much in similar positions. It's very true what you say, I genuinely believe it is a case of, well if I don't poke the lion he will forget about me and unfortunately we need to poke that lion and fight it.
I do believe many of them have bias but if that is the case then they shouldn't be doing the job. We've already had statements from them which make us believe they don't think he is innocent and that is worrying, anyone reading the evidence with it in their head that it was my partner is going to think that but if you read the evidence without thinking it is him then the defence becomes very obvious - it wasn't him!
It's really worrying and I feel very much the same as you, we are living pretend. I guess at least we are aware of our feelings and in that sense are preparing for the worst - although I am sure nothing can prepare us. I often think that all the time, I think if people actually knew what was going on they would think it was a wind up. Thank you. I hope your partner gets a bit of oomph about this too. I think I have finally gotten it into mine that he'll be looking at at least 2 years jail time and a lifetime on the SOR if this goes to pot! That seemed to put some urgency into him lol!
xx
My partner plead guilty and had legal aid. But they were also useless. I too hot frustrated with my partner with no fighting his corner better. I still have the same issue now as he is self representing in family court.
I had never dealt with the legal system until the court hearing in 2019, and made me realize how unprofessional it can be. They had the age of my partner wrong, his address was wrong, the date of the arrest was wrong. Thankfully the character references were submitted but it was nearly too late and judge had to pause precedings to read them because they were sent late by the solicitors.
I hope your complaint is dealt with. I feel your pain with the frustration towards your partner. Mine isn't that we'll organized, I want to take over but I can't...
I had never dealt with the legal system until the court hearing in 2019, and made me realize how unprofessional it can be. They had the age of my partner wrong, his address was wrong, the date of the arrest was wrong. Thankfully the character references were submitted but it was nearly too late and judge had to pause precedings to read them because they were sent late by the solicitors.
I hope your complaint is dealt with. I feel your pain with the frustration towards your partner. Mine isn't that we'll organized, I want to take over but I can't...
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It all sounds a bit circumstantial, I hope the new solicitors help.
If your partner has Google time line activated on his phone, this could help prove where he was on that day. Many people don't know that this is automatically tracked when using Google Maps. Regardless as to whether you are using maps to get to then locations.
If your partner has Google time line activated on his phone, this could help prove where he was on that day. Many people don't know that this is automatically tracked when using Google Maps. Regardless as to whether you are using maps to get to then locations.
My location is pretty much always on. I can go back to any date and see where I walked, where I drove, what shops I went in and with times. Its something I will ask my person to always be activated on his phone in the future to protect him against allegations.
Just a general point here. If anyone is pleading not guilty and uses Android. The phone logs and tracks a huge amount of activity. For example I can go back to dates years ago, see what I searched for, what apps I opened and used etc. A huge amount of information is available. It's found under Google Activity, if you Google that and log in, it's tells you a huge amount. Obviously it relies on the data not being deleted, but it tracks things you might not know to delete. If the person uses a Google account, this information is moved from phone to phone so as long as the data is restored on the new phone all this information will be available either on the new phone or the web by logging in.
I guess it might also be useful to partners that want to know more. It might involve being a bit sneaky with your partner and as I mentioned relies on them not having deleted the data and having been logged into their Google account on the phone.
I guess it might also be useful to partners that want to know more. It might involve being a bit sneaky with your partner and as I mentioned relies on them not having deleted the data and having been logged into their Google account on the phone.
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Just a little update to this. I complained about the solicitors and the whole situation - solicitors do not like it when you complain about them but needs must!
I actually ended up doing his defence statement myself and he has been allocated a new barrister who looks s*** hot from what I can see online. We have a meeting with them next week and I'm both excited and nervous. Excited to see what they make of the whole situation but nervous to see what they make of the whole situation. I'm hoping that they will be positive and have a solution to this but terrified if they say otherwise. It's all getting very real - trial about 3 weeks away and I'm hoping we will be able to celebrate Christmas together, free of this nightmare but you just never know what will happen. I'll keep you all updated x
I actually ended up doing his defence statement myself and he has been allocated a new barrister who looks s*** hot from what I can see online. We have a meeting with them next week and I'm both excited and nervous. Excited to see what they make of the whole situation but nervous to see what they make of the whole situation. I'm hoping that they will be positive and have a solution to this but terrified if they say otherwise. It's all getting very real - trial about 3 weeks away and I'm hoping we will be able to celebrate Christmas together, free of this nightmare but you just never know what will happen. I'll keep you all updated x
Baffled
Keeping my fingers crossed that your barrister is indeed ****hot, and the trial goes in your favour!
Keeping my fingers crossed that your barrister is indeed ****hot, and the trial goes in your favour!
Baffled-keeping everything crossed for you .
We also changed Solicitors and the new one is really on the ball with things .
We also changed Solicitors and the new one is really on the ball with things .
Thanks ladies, it means a lot. I've never been so desperate to know the outcome of something so much in my life! I wish I could take a pill and go to sleep and wake up when all of this is over.
Seaside, I'm glad you've sorted someone else, we defo need to ensure we have good representation as it really does make the world of difference.
xx
Seaside, I'm glad you've sorted someone else, we defo need to ensure we have good representation as it really does make the world of difference.
xx
So pleased you have found someone who you can trust to be on your side (shouldn't they all be???).
Crossing everything for you ... you have been so supportive to everyone on here (I'm a newbie ???? and you were the first to reply to a question I asked). I was so grateful for that.
Think we are all in the same boat as to desperate just to get a conclusion ... can't get my head round how long it takes and the effect the waiting has on the whole family.
So far I've managed to keep my mouth firmly shut (very hard for me as I'm a wear my heart on my sleeve kind of gal) but sharing is just dangerous and praying nothing will be found on my husbands devices anyway! Everyone on here is in the same boat and it's a comfort to know that we are all not weirdos .. just normal, previously happy people. How the heck did it end up like this?
Anyway I've now gone off piste .. so good luck with your new barrister! And keep strong x
Crossing everything for you ... you have been so supportive to everyone on here (I'm a newbie ???? and you were the first to reply to a question I asked). I was so grateful for that.
Think we are all in the same boat as to desperate just to get a conclusion ... can't get my head round how long it takes and the effect the waiting has on the whole family.
So far I've managed to keep my mouth firmly shut (very hard for me as I'm a wear my heart on my sleeve kind of gal) but sharing is just dangerous and praying nothing will be found on my husbands devices anyway! Everyone on here is in the same boat and it's a comfort to know that we are all not weirdos .. just normal, previously happy people. How the heck did it end up like this?
Anyway I've now gone off piste .. so good luck with your new barrister! And keep strong x
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I'm glad you have more confidence in the new team. At the very least we want to feel our loved ones are given the best chance.
Sorry for deleting my earlier posts on this I'm scared of people connecting dots. Trial begins tomorrow, I feel SICK and I may have to be a witness too. New barrister is fab and has picked up on inconsistencies we haven't which weren't present in the evidence pack. I felt absolutely fine and confident until now. Please pray for us. I'll check back in likely at some point next week with an update. Hopefully good news. Hopefully some good will come from this. I got my second assignment back from the Masters I'm doing today and got a Merit. Wish I could enjoy and celebrate but I can't. I can't believe we're here, it's been over 18 months, I never thought it would come to this.
Thank you for all of the support you have given to me, that you give to others and being such a wonderful bunch of people. Speak soon xxxx
Thank you for all of the support you have given to me, that you give to others and being such a wonderful bunch of people. Speak soon xxxx
All the best baffled b my thoughts are with you praying for the best for you xxx
Wishing you all the best Baffled and praying for a good outcome for you.
You have been through so much and are a very courageous lady.
Sending love and strength to you.
You have been through so much and are a very courageous lady.
Sending love and strength to you.
Hi Baffled,
Wishing you lots of luck for tomorrow and will keep everything crossed.
I know you do not feel like it now but please do raise a glass to yourself for your Masters result. What a huge achievement and you should be very proud. Well done! Sending a big hug. X
Wishing you lots of luck for tomorrow and will keep everything crossed.
I know you do not feel like it now but please do raise a glass to yourself for your Masters result. What a huge achievement and you should be very proud. Well done! Sending a big hug. X
Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way xx
Ps you should be proud of your merit too, I know how hard it is juggling all of this as I've just completed my final professional exam in my field yesterday, having done 3 during this sh1t.
You're super strong, just remember that and everything you have achieved xx
You're super strong, just remember that and everything you have achieved xx
Crossing everything for you Baffled!! May all this mess is over soon xxx
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I can't imagine how you must be feeling at the moment - Especially as I think you said you've told no one. That's great the ne barrister is on the ball too! Well done on coming this far. I'll be thinking of you and hope it goes well.
Super well done on the masters, I'm in awe of the ladies on here that are pursuing other big personal goals whilst going through this horrendous situation.
Super well done on the masters, I'm in awe of the ladies on here that are pursuing other big personal goals whilst going through this horrendous situation.
Good luck BaffledB. Thinking of you and hope you get it all sorted.
BaffledB
Just wanted to wish you both strength and good luck and hope for a positive outcome xx
Congratulations to you on your merit a fantastic achievement under normal circumstances never mind with the journey you have been on xx
Just wanted to wish you both strength and good luck and hope for a positive outcome xx
Congratulations to you on your merit a fantastic achievement under normal circumstances never mind with the journey you have been on xx
Good luck Baffled, thinking of you and hoping the day has gone as well as can be expected.
Hey Baffled B I've been off the forum for a few days (for my own mental health) thinking of you and hoping it's all going ok. You can do this.
IT'S BEEN DROPPED!!!!!!
I am so so happy! I was ready and waiting to go to court as they were going to call on me as a witness today but it's been scrapped so my partner is en route home and we're going out to celebrate.
There is so much to talk about and I'm going to do a full post talking about everything as it's likely to help others and so I can share all the details I've not felt able to before. I feel slightly guilty being so happy when I know exactly how many there are living in limbo but I hope this helps to give a positive outcome and some reassurance to anyone who is in a similiar position. Thank you all so much for your wellwishes, you have been my only friends throughout these horrific 20 months. Xxx
I am so so happy! I was ready and waiting to go to court as they were going to call on me as a witness today but it's been scrapped so my partner is en route home and we're going out to celebrate.
There is so much to talk about and I'm going to do a full post talking about everything as it's likely to help others and so I can share all the details I've not felt able to before. I feel slightly guilty being so happy when I know exactly how many there are living in limbo but I hope this helps to give a positive outcome and some reassurance to anyone who is in a similiar position. Thank you all so much for your wellwishes, you have been my only friends throughout these horrific 20 months. Xxx
Hi BaffledB
I am so pleased to hear your news. Wishing you all the best for the future x
I am so pleased to hear your news. Wishing you all the best for the future x
Oh Baffled I am so very happy for you that is absolutely fantastic news!!
Wishing you all the very best for your future-you have been so strong and incredibly brave throughout this nightmare and have provided so much support and advice for others.
Wishing you all the very best for your future-you have been so strong and incredibly brave throughout this nightmare and have provided so much support and advice for others.
Wow! I'm so happy for you! But also I'm so sorry you've been through this for no good reason. I hope it gives hope to others on here.
Enjoy tonight... And Christmas! You really deserve it.
I am interested to know more about the details when you are ready or have time to share.
Enjoy tonight... And Christmas! You really deserve it.
I am interested to know more about the details when you are ready or have time to share.
I actually can't comprehend how you must feel... Obviously ecstatic right now but to have gone through everything you've been through and for it to be dropped.
A friend I made at prison collected her partner today. There are so many different stages and endings to the process and it's a real roller-coaster of unknowns.
Hope you are having a great time.
A friend I made at prison collected her partner today. There are so many different stages and endings to the process and it's a real roller-coaster of unknowns.
Hope you are having a great time.
How wonderful to read a positive post like this. So happy for you both but equally saddened that you have been dragged through this whole torturous 20 months. I hope you can move forward with happiness xx
Omg omg omg Baffled!!!!! I'm extatic for you!!!!
Goodness, what an amazing result!!!
Merry Christmas my love, so beyond happy for you!!
Goodness, what an amazing result!!!
Merry Christmas my love, so beyond happy for you!!
How fantastic to read your news Baffled.
so so pleased for you Merry Christmas my lovely x
so so pleased for you Merry Christmas my lovely x
That is such good news! Huge congrats to you both. Now go and get that bottle open!!!!
Am also curious as to why it was dropped, and await your explanation. Curious, but so pleased for you.
Am also curious as to why it was dropped, and await your explanation. Curious, but so pleased for you.
How brilliant for you!! Merry Christmas!!! Hope you're having all the fun xxx
That's fantastic, so pleased for you. You must be so relieved, though i can imagine you have a whole load of other emotions too after what they've put you through.
BaffledB
Such a lovely read , so pleased for you all after such horrendous 20 months on this awful journey
Wishing you both some long awaited happiness as you move forward with this weight of your shoulders
Enjoy your celebration drinks xx
Such a lovely read , so pleased for you all after such horrendous 20 months on this awful journey
Wishing you both some long awaited happiness as you move forward with this weight of your shoulders
Enjoy your celebration drinks xx
Hi BaffledB,
Just want to send u best wishes and it's great news it's been dropped xx lovely early Christmas present xx
Just want to send u best wishes and it's great news it's been dropped xx lovely early Christmas present xx
What a fantastic outcome, I would have given anything for this. Enjoy every moment x
I am so pleased for you x you will have the best Christmas ever!! Xx
So so happy for you xx
Well done for standing your ground and not being bullied, but still makes me so mad you've (& others) are put through this and the damages it does do and could do to people, their relationships and families.
Again so pleased for you, I wish you and your partner all the best for the future xx
Well done for standing your ground and not being bullied, but still makes me so mad you've (& others) are put through this and the damages it does do and could do to people, their relationships and families.
Again so pleased for you, I wish you and your partner all the best for the future xx
Baffled B
I'm _so_ pleased to hear this news for you. From what I recall of your case it sounds like a common sense decision and the only thing that disturbs me is the length of time it took to come to this conclusion, especially when it has caused you and your partner so much trauma.
Enjoy your Christmas and indeed the rest of your lives!
I'm _so_ pleased to hear this news for you. From what I recall of your case it sounds like a common sense decision and the only thing that disturbs me is the length of time it took to come to this conclusion, especially when it has caused you and your partner so much trauma.
Enjoy your Christmas and indeed the rest of your lives!