Family and Friends Forum

Two weeks from sentencing, Facebook drama and media

Notifications OFF

Lanny

Member since
November 2020

44 posts

Posted Wed October 19, 2022 10:10pmReport post

So where can I begin I am no further forward with the house issue but I spoke to somebody that may be able to help just have to wait out for a few things there.

Kids dad was sentenced and well in court and from his sting video of where he has no remorse I found out the severity of his deceptions.

i know I said he shared images of me however it now transpired he shared videos that he took of us during sexual inter course of which I have no recocollection the positioning will have much to do with this. He took images of me indecent asleep don't ask me how I am shocked. I mean I sleep with my door closed since I was young due to the men whom abused me coming into my room at night I learnt if I heard the door it would wake me up at least I would know. Trouble is the kids dad was already there (kids dad knew all along I was survivor) to top it off he told the person I knew and when confronted confirmed he had lied and all he was blaming was me and lack of intimacy and god knows what all of which is a fabrication and lies. I know there are circumstacial things that can lead our men down these paths but to blame me as a person and say that this is my failings I just don't understand.

I spent two years wondering if I would be able to carry on ????! Sure as anything I know now I was fooling myself! Not only did the police withhold information about the videos and not provide appropriate knowledge and support they have handled the backlash I have had from this appallingly (cue second complaint).

Now out the side of sentencing and truth revealed I am battling the media online, people nationally including army community. The army community look tk me for the answers they cannot get from him etc.

All this and the biggest thing is even though I have made the decision to walk away as what he has done to be is beyond unforgivable and you don't do that to woman let alone somebody you love and a survivor to stay the least. I find myself full of guilt because though I have been hurt I don't want to hurt anyone even him! I am so troubled with the live I have for the relationship we had and the man I thought he was!

I long to understand for him to tell me but I don't believe that will ever be the case he has continued to conceal the severity of his situation and I had to find out in court and elsewhere.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring and I actually fear it! But for all those beginning your journey it might seem dark and rocky but there is a resolution of which is hard but beyond that as the sea settles you will pick yourself up and start again: be it continuing on with your Partner or carving a new path alone you will be ok I am not right now and it's ok to admit and I might not see how but I know I will be! Much love to all whom find themselves here x

Edited Wed October 19, 2022 10:16pm

Orchid94

Member since
July 2021

98 posts

Posted Thu October 20, 2022 8:40amReport post

Hi Lanny,

I really don't know where to begin with your post. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this horrendous situation and then learn that there has been further deception and betrayal.

What your ex-partner has done is totally unforgiveable and will never be justified. His actions will never, ever, ever be your fault. I'm actually overcome with rage at how he has treated you. Everything you have said in your post about his behaviour really does support the argument that he is in denial.

I cannot imagine how hard this is for you, but you are so incredibly strong and resilient. I really hope your housing situation is sorted soon and hopefully have a new start. You really do deserve the world. Keep looking after you - sending big hugs. X

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Thu October 20, 2022 10:25amReport post

Lanny I'm. Speachless and I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I'll light a candle for you big hugs from me and I truly hope you. Move on from this and have a happy life as you can xx

Daffodil

Member since
March 2022

965 posts

Posted Fri October 21, 2022 6:22amReport post

Post deleted


Edited Tue October 24, 2023 9:12am

Lanny

Member since
November 2020

44 posts

Posted Sun October 23, 2022 12:19amReport post

With all my heart I thank you all for your words of support and kindness.
???? daffodil: the revenge porn is something I have thought long and hard about and had gone back and fourth over! I came to the conclusion that while I knew it would be a hard path to tread it is something I feel necessary (I appreciate the knowledge and support!) I made the call to the police Tuesday and am awaiting tk hear anything in return! Much love and thanks

Orchid: I very much appreciate your reply and you have reiterated all I feel and I thank you for you words of positivity an send you mine in return. And I hear your strength in your advice and support. Waiting for the House situation to be resolved feels like an eternity, I am in hope now with the right people finally involved abbé new avenues tk be explored we will find a solution (until then I will battle on as I know we are all doing).


Newlady: thank you for your kind words and support and I send virtual Hugs right back tk to yourself with the warmest gratitude.

I am waking up each day after what feels like the heaviest of burdens with one kind reminder from my daughter "while life is not quite as we imagined or what we planned for our future, we just imagine new ones, it doesn't mean it won't be as good just different!" It's with your words of support and her words of wisdom I hope I will heal and find myself again!

warmth and love goes out to you all while walk these difficult paths alongside one another!