One of them days
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Hi scared and confused. I too had 17 months of being told it was older teenagers he was searching for but possibly he'd seen slightly younger by mistake and spent 17 months feeling worthless but trying to save my relationship.
Remember none of this is because of anything you've done or not done.
Slightly younger was a huge huge lie so my relationship is now over. Hopefully yours will be different.
Easy to say (I'm still in bed trying to get motivated) but try to just look at and deal with today and make the most of it. I find once I get going I'm usually OK but it's the getting going that's the problem.
I know the long waiting time is so draining. Sending hugs x
Remember none of this is because of anything you've done or not done.
Slightly younger was a huge huge lie so my relationship is now over. Hopefully yours will be different.
Easy to say (I'm still in bed trying to get motivated) but try to just look at and deal with today and make the most of it. I find once I get going I'm usually OK but it's the getting going that's the problem.
I know the long waiting time is so draining. Sending hugs x
Hi,
You're not on your own in feeling like that at all. My self esteem has nose dived since all of this. My person was arrested and remanded when I was 3 months pregnant, sentenced the week I gave birth and we saw each other for the first time when baby was a week old. My body changed so much over that time and 20 months on it's still changing. We're not at the point of being intimate yet but I do worry that we'll do the other work on our relationship and then when it comes to that side of things he'll realise that I'm not what he wants or I won't be able to overcome my current ick every time he says something that reminds me of what he said in his conversation with the decoy.
He says things like if I didn't want to be with you then I would have just walked away etc but my crappy self esteem creeps in and I translate it into nobody else will have him because of his conviction. He encouraged me so much to be myself, made me feel like I could take on the world and succeed in anything I chose to do and his actions have made me feel like that was all smoke and mirrors and my confidence is rock bottom.
I hope that someone replies who has overcome these feelings as I haven't really encouraged you but I want you to know you're not alone. I hope you get a chance to rest today and that the kids sleep better tonight xxx
You're not on your own in feeling like that at all. My self esteem has nose dived since all of this. My person was arrested and remanded when I was 3 months pregnant, sentenced the week I gave birth and we saw each other for the first time when baby was a week old. My body changed so much over that time and 20 months on it's still changing. We're not at the point of being intimate yet but I do worry that we'll do the other work on our relationship and then when it comes to that side of things he'll realise that I'm not what he wants or I won't be able to overcome my current ick every time he says something that reminds me of what he said in his conversation with the decoy.
He says things like if I didn't want to be with you then I would have just walked away etc but my crappy self esteem creeps in and I translate it into nobody else will have him because of his conviction. He encouraged me so much to be myself, made me feel like I could take on the world and succeed in anything I chose to do and his actions have made me feel like that was all smoke and mirrors and my confidence is rock bottom.
I hope that someone replies who has overcome these feelings as I haven't really encouraged you but I want you to know you're not alone. I hope you get a chance to rest today and that the kids sleep better tonight xxx
Thankyou both. He has definitely viewed younger he has admitted it from the start but as part of my coping I understand what his looked at but I've pushed it away as he was abused himself as a child which was also a shock to me and I've sort of come to terms with how this as come about. It's the adult porn side I have trouble with at the moment as I don't get how he managed to hide his addition for the whole of our 10 year relationship/ marriage. It's worse as he has Magistrates on the 1st so all I think about is that and it's dragging everything up in my head. And sleepless nights from 2 and 3 year old doesn't help.
Sorry I think I just needed to vent else the hubby will have a frying pan over his head this morning and I don't think social services or court will be too impressed with that lol
Sorry I think I just needed to vent else the hubby will have a frying pan over his head this morning and I don't think social services or court will be too impressed with that lol
Yeah I struggle with the addiction side of things as he hid that too. Never apologise for venting. This is our safe space to vent. Can completely relate to the frying pan over the head, my person narrowly avoids it every time he says he's tired lol xxx
Ahaha.
His playing with the kids oblivious to my ideas of inflicting pain. He has no idea that anything is even the matter they truly don't notice anything.
Yes the tired part does my head in but tbf my oh is very considerate in what he says to me most times luckily probably because he knows it's not worth the reaction he gets xx
His playing with the kids oblivious to my ideas of inflicting pain. He has no idea that anything is even the matter they truly don't notice anything.
Yes the tired part does my head in but tbf my oh is very considerate in what he says to me most times luckily probably because he knows it's not worth the reaction he gets xx