I feel awful!
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PetrifiedMum,
I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for reassurance considering the circumstances and I checked my partners phone sneakily a couple of times after the knock when I had never done that before. I think some partners aren't considerate to what we go through on our side - whether they are innocent or guilty we suffer too and not just because of the crime but the infidelity.
Don't beat yourself up over a kiss. I don't condone cheating but I think considering the circumstances and the reaction you received it is absolutely reasonable for you to seek either some form of consoling or revenge - or both! You are not a bad person and you deserve some support and reassurance. I hope things get better for you but please don't be hard on yourself. The guilt will pass, try and forget about it and if you want to move on I would not be forthcoming about it - it will achieve nothing and do more harm than good, you've acknowledged it was a mistake and feel guilty and that is punishment enough. Sending lots of love xxx
I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for reassurance considering the circumstances and I checked my partners phone sneakily a couple of times after the knock when I had never done that before. I think some partners aren't considerate to what we go through on our side - whether they are innocent or guilty we suffer too and not just because of the crime but the infidelity.
Don't beat yourself up over a kiss. I don't condone cheating but I think considering the circumstances and the reaction you received it is absolutely reasonable for you to seek either some form of consoling or revenge - or both! You are not a bad person and you deserve some support and reassurance. I hope things get better for you but please don't be hard on yourself. The guilt will pass, try and forget about it and if you want to move on I would not be forthcoming about it - it will achieve nothing and do more harm than good, you've acknowledged it was a mistake and feel guilty and that is punishment enough. Sending lots of love xxx
Whoa, hang on there, be easy on yourself. I’d agree that you are lost, the journey you are on does that, we do the most strangest things when we are under duress. Ask yourself, if you wasn’t in the position you are in, would you have done what you did? I would probably guess most definitely not. You wanting to check his phone is a result of the lack of trust bestowed on you and your relationship. I would do the same!
Please be kind to yourself, we all make mistakes, we all regret doing something we shouldn’t have at some point, I think you have good reason to admit you didn’t really know what you were doing!
Try and forget it and keep being strong for yourself and your daughter. Take care x
Please be kind to yourself, we all make mistakes, we all regret doing something we shouldn’t have at some point, I think you have good reason to admit you didn’t really know what you were doing!
Try and forget it and keep being strong for yourself and your daughter. Take care x
Hi BaffledB,
Thank you for commenting!!
oh good, I'm not crazy lol! I just don't know what to believe at the minute, just really can't trust him he's done things in the past too! I'm really struggling, I can't stand the thought of us seperating I've always wanted a happy family and my children to have both parents sounds silly I know!
plus the house, it's just so difficult!
no, me neither can't stand it that's why I feel so dreadful; you are so sweet, thank you so much xxx
Thank you for commenting!!
oh good, I'm not crazy lol! I just don't know what to believe at the minute, just really can't trust him he's done things in the past too! I'm really struggling, I can't stand the thought of us seperating I've always wanted a happy family and my children to have both parents sounds silly I know!
plus the house, it's just so difficult!
no, me neither can't stand it that's why I feel so dreadful; you are so sweet, thank you so much xxx
Hi LostandConfused,
thank you for commenting!
you are so right! I thought exactly that last night, if none of this happened I'd of never of even thought about going there. I feel like I'm just lonely and craved that attention at the time, I'm finding it really difficult to be intimate with my partner at the minute.
honestly thank you! Yours and BaffledB's comments have made me feel tons better! Xxx
thank you for commenting!
you are so right! I thought exactly that last night, if none of this happened I'd of never of even thought about going there. I feel like I'm just lonely and craved that attention at the time, I'm finding it really difficult to be intimate with my partner at the minute.
honestly thank you! Yours and BaffledB's comments have made me feel tons better! Xxx
PM,
Your stance is a sensible one! We've seen it on here before that the real truth comes out when charges are brought and the evidence comes to light so being open minded that things could be different from your partner's truth is the best way so if the worst does happen then you're slightly prepared.
I think everyone idolises the concept of both parents raising their kids and being together but it's not always best. My parents split when I was 15 and my gosh do I wish they'd split when I was a baby because it would've saved a lot of issues but we all just do the best we can with what we're given and there's no right or wrong ways to approach things so either way you'll work it. Whatever happens you will always be a brilliant Mum and we're all here to support you xxx
Your stance is a sensible one! We've seen it on here before that the real truth comes out when charges are brought and the evidence comes to light so being open minded that things could be different from your partner's truth is the best way so if the worst does happen then you're slightly prepared.
I think everyone idolises the concept of both parents raising their kids and being together but it's not always best. My parents split when I was 15 and my gosh do I wish they'd split when I was a baby because it would've saved a lot of issues but we all just do the best we can with what we're given and there's no right or wrong ways to approach things so either way you'll work it. Whatever happens you will always be a brilliant Mum and we're all here to support you xxx
Please don't be so hard on yourself.
Firstly, he needs to be more considerate considering what you're going through!
Im sorry I can't remember your story, I'm assuming he's pleading innocence?
don't make any decisions until you are ready to, no matter how long that may be and how much pressure you feel. Put yourself and kids first x
Firstly, he needs to be more considerate considering what you're going through!
Im sorry I can't remember your story, I'm assuming he's pleading innocence?
don't make any decisions until you are ready to, no matter how long that may be and how much pressure you feel. Put yourself and kids first x
Hi BaffledB,
Yes, I always think about that! Ugh it's just so dreadful I hate him for it. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd have social services involved with my children so the fact they got involved with my daughter absolutely broke me! Luckily they said I'm a good mum and dropped the case but I was petrified!
yes, my daughter is so young so I did think about that my little sisters parents broke up when they were about the same age as you and it's caused a lot of problems!
thank you so much, honestly means the world! Xxxx
Yes, I always think about that! Ugh it's just so dreadful I hate him for it. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd have social services involved with my children so the fact they got involved with my daughter absolutely broke me! Luckily they said I'm a good mum and dropped the case but I was petrified!
yes, my daughter is so young so I did think about that my little sisters parents broke up when they were about the same age as you and it's caused a lot of problems!
thank you so much, honestly means the world! Xxxx
Hi JayJay,
thanks for commenting!
thank you, yes he's pleading innocent it's really difficult as I just can't trust him don't really believe a thing that comes out of his mouth! He forwarded links in a chat room which had legal porn but had no idea the links he sent contained iioc
thanks again xxx
thanks for commenting!
thank you, yes he's pleading innocent it's really difficult as I just can't trust him don't really believe a thing that comes out of his mouth! He forwarded links in a chat room which had legal porn but had no idea the links he sent contained iioc
thanks again xxx
My person too maintains his innocence and gets a bit stroppy and belligerent when I ask questions about his activities past or present.
It's really hard to know whether this is understandable offence by a person who knows/believes they are innocent at not being trusted or believed by a loved one, or someone who is actually guilty and is "acting up" on being challenged.
Most of the time I give my person the benefit of the doubt, thinking to myself how much more stressful it must be to be accused of this crime if you are actually innocent. But sometimes it nags away at me that he might in fact be "acting up".
Either way, you have a right to ask, challenge or check up on your person. I'm sure many of us reflect that had we done this at some point in the past, we might have been able to prevent this from happening to us. Although I'm not sure thats true.
It's really hard to know whether this is understandable offence by a person who knows/believes they are innocent at not being trusted or believed by a loved one, or someone who is actually guilty and is "acting up" on being challenged.
Most of the time I give my person the benefit of the doubt, thinking to myself how much more stressful it must be to be accused of this crime if you are actually innocent. But sometimes it nags away at me that he might in fact be "acting up".
Either way, you have a right to ask, challenge or check up on your person. I'm sure many of us reflect that had we done this at some point in the past, we might have been able to prevent this from happening to us. Although I'm not sure thats true.