Family and Friends Forum

Hi sorry your going throught this . We got the knock the day I found out I was pregnant so I understand the pain and how hard it is alone . I told noone and had my 5 year.old and a new born gave birth alone and have done everything alone the night feeds are still 3 feeds in the night and she's 6 months . I'm shattered.

I'm having a hard time with social now as I have been told my the solicitor that after sentencing ect there no legal way to stop him moving back home .

My advise would be to get onto the health visitor to put a referral in that you need him home for some support ect

And maybe just see what the police or social say about him staying at night ?

I don't assume they will say yes because there problem will be you have to be supervising so you can't do that when asleep . So him helping with night feeds might not be possible . (But him being there and a safety plan in place could work)

But I'd give anything and everything a go . They closed my case without me knowing so now it's all starting up again and taking to much time . They closed it because he wasn't living here (he was Rui and his conditions were no staying overnight with an under 18) but maybe I should of been on there case more or told them he will be coming back after senctaning. Because I feel we could have had a social worker for 14 months and we could have a bond and understanding but now it's like starting from day one .

See what they say and try and get some answers for whatever the outcome at court . Because we were told all the time wait till after sentencing blah blah . But now there's so much to do probation mettings visor . Sor , working full-time . The media so I'm to upset to want to eveen to carm with these people .

Sending strength and love and hope things work out for you xxx

That must be so hard for you. My kids are now teenagers which makes this all much easier. We're also in the same limbo, though husband is on bail, but he moved out with a few essentials and everything else is still here. I was so angry with him initially that I packed a lot of his stuff away into his wardrobe so I didn't have to see it everyday.

I think it'll depend on your SS how they respond if it is NFA. I think if you can have a plan and show how you plan to protect your baby then they are more likely to let him home. I doubt he'll have to stay away forever, even if found guilty. Also, though I know it doesn't feel like it in the early months with a baby, it does get easier. Those first few months are hard going even with someone else to share the load. Could you ask someone to help out for the occasional night to give you a break?

yes I think they do the social worker first came round she said he will never see his children alone untill there 18 he's interested in children why else would it be on the phone ect . Then I read the forum and called her and explained my situation she wanted me to have supervised with my mum only ect she was worried with a new born and a 5 year old I would not listen to the rules and fall asleep ect . I said that's not the case at all he will come round whenever he likes day/night for how ever long I don't want a time limit but if I'm tired I will tell him to come . I also don't want my family to have to supervise when I see them one a week and the dog will go mad my daughter will be confused why there hear and they don't get on with my partner anyway . We stuck to the rules and I then messaged the social worker and rang to see if we could go on holiday . No reply . I have had no contact for a year and the police officer in charge also wudnt return my calls . My daughter thought he worked night shifts ect so she has been okay but lately she's so upset and crying at night why dusnt daddy sleep here I live him so much ect she said she wanted to take the picture of him out the room because she's to upset. If would be easier for me to not see him again either and get ok with my life but unfortunately I realise that the children need him alot more than they need anyone else. I'm have d ok ne the whole seperation for 14 months and the only person that's visits is him . I was more positive before court and he has been suffering with mental health suicidal thoughts ect . Since the court case the roles have reviesed I'm now suffer and he's not he says it's over and what he's been through he dusnt care about media what others think he just wants to see him daughters . Now I have rang the social they are in shock I want him home and are saying he's a risk . So I feel I should of said from the start he will be back I was just to scared . I am now waiting on an assement . They say he can't do anything not eveen go to a toy shop noone will give me any answers and there's nmmore restrictions that at first. They tell me things won't get sorted in a day ect I said I understand that but if you had the case open and worked with us for this whole time you would know us better and we could have worked on things . I hope this makes sence because I rammble on and can't spell . The police judge the social the public. All I think about is the family I ahve started and the what my partner has done is unthinkable. But he's got his punishment he's suffered and now it's time to try and move on xxx

The lack of sleep is horrible with a new born unfortunately for me my little ones still wakes alot in the night but alot of my other friends baby's have started to sleep through so Ur baby might get a good rotuine. To be honest I find my self away more with worry of the media and the social rather than the actual feeds. I think the help of having them home if the helping tidy up. Making some food / coffe while you feed the baby . I havnt told my family I really wish I could because I worry they will find out and be so mad . I'm giving it some time and seeing if my options change . One day I want to run away as a family one day I want to run away from him and live my life with family and friends . I'm thinking what's best for my children . And maybe if my daughter wasn't such a daddy's girl it would be easier but she's starting to turn in my and if sick of me and wants her dad xx