H plead guilty
Notifications OFF
My husband was at crown court today for plea and trial prep hearing. He also had a goodyear hearing to find out what sentence he would get if he changed his plea. Judge said max 2 years so he has changed his plea to guilty. I feel numb. I never thought my husband would be a convicted sex offender. Less than 3 months ago, I had no idea any of this was coming. Sentencing is in a few weeks. He's obviously hoping for a suspended sentence, though I did tell him he needs to prepare for it being custodial just in case. He needs to sign SOR tomorrow.
Loulou, I've been in a very similar scenario to you. It was also only 3 months for me from finding out this was all happening to him deciding to plead guilt at a goodyear hearing.
All the time he was pleading not guilty I worried he was doing the wrong thing but I also had a bit of hope that he'd be found not guilty. When he plead guilty I had very mixed feelings - That loss of hope took a while to sink in and the realisation that the next step would be the big one. I felt something in him die and something in me too. It has changed us both for sure, but bit by bit we've built ourselves back up. I still have a while to wait until I feel the true reality of being in a relationship and in love with someone who is labelled as a sex offender, but I can see past that label now.
All the time he was pleading not guilty I worried he was doing the wrong thing but I also had a bit of hope that he'd be found not guilty. When he plead guilty I had very mixed feelings - That loss of hope took a while to sink in and the realisation that the next step would be the big one. I felt something in him die and something in me too. It has changed us both for sure, but bit by bit we've built ourselves back up. I still have a while to wait until I feel the true reality of being in a relationship and in love with someone who is labelled as a sex offender, but I can see past that label now.
Pretty much exact same happened to my family member. You do hold onto that hope the whole time until now. I guess that's what's got us through. Take time to process and be gentle with yourself.
Sending love and strength xx
Thanks ladies. He won't be moving back home yet anyway, so we've got some time to work out our future. He's devastated, he knows he's messed up. I don't think it's necessarily the offence (I don't think he is a risk to girls), more that for 2 years he thought chat rooms and chatting sex with women was a good way to deal with stress. And now we (and our teenagers) have to deal with the consequence of that. Which really passes me off. This is his crime and yet we're going to feel the impact for potentially another 10 years (on SOR).