Family and Friends Forum

Hi,

My person had 3 charges relating to communication with a 14 year old. He was kept on remand for six months so unsure if this was a factor at sentencing but he got 3 years community order, 5 year SHPO and 5 years on sor. 80 hours unpaid work, he has completed this and horizon course which he is currently doing for 2 and a half hours a week. We are 20 months post sentencing. Thinking of you for next week xxx

Hi, I don't post often but wanted to say I totally get how you are feeling and wanted to send a hug.

Since we got charges, beginning of Sept I have felt the exact same, we've had 2 pleas (1st no plea entered as disagreed with distribution as no evidence, which was dropped during 2bd plea) we have sentencing mid Dec for making all cats around 70, so very very similar to you.

We have been told exactly the same as you, hopefully community and max suspended but it's up to the judge on the day.

I am also terrified of what is going to happen and dreaded the night before as we will be telling our teenage boys just in case it is custodial :(

Usually I'd say I'm fine but he's currently throwing himself a pity party and tbh I'm struggling to strike a balance between supporting him, enabling him and completely losing my mind at him. I said something last night about disclosing to nursery and school when we get to that point with our daughter. Nursery would be a very basic disclosure along the lines of he doesn't have pr as ss were involved when I was pregnant. I'm thinking school would need a different approach because I would like her to be familiar with the safeguarding leads before she starts to question anything so she has adults around her that she trusts enough to talk to when she is old enough to know what's happened. He went in a mood because he said (about an hour ago) that it really offends him when I say things that remind him that people may think he's a threat to our daughter. I didn't say that by the way, I stated facts around pr and that's all nursery would need to know. He's currently out having a drink cuz that's what he does, along with not communicating with me. This needs to be something that he works on if we stand any chance in the future xx

For anyone who has been there through this stage I think we can all agree how gut wrenching it is. I remember my partner getting a list of dos and don't to pack, for if it was the worst case scenario and I'd be leaving the court without him. Be positive, like others have said the judge will already know in his/her mind what the outcome will be. You have a support network here or so many people in the same situation with various different outcomes, it does get better. There will be good days and bad days but you will get through this. And take it from me, sometimes we lose ourselves in supporting our partners, make sure to loom after your well-being too, even it means coming to vent, it does the works of good xXx

Hi scared and confused . Hope your okay it's horrible this journey stay strong and know that it's not you that has committed the crime . The waiting if awfull . But each day your bearer to the end. My partner was lucky in some respects he didn't go to prison. (700 vidoes)But the suspended sence media and visor probation social services are now more he'll than before . I've spent a week hiding in the house not eating searching the internet reading horrible comments . I really made myself I'll. I told my mum yesterday and she was supportive of me (of course I would of loved the support for him but I understand that's not possible)

But I'm here and I'm feeling better and I need to concentrate now on what I want and what my children need and I can not controll everyone else . And they won't understand/ read the fake media .

I think because I spend so much time waiting for the court date and hoping it was going to go away I was more in shock when it was in the media . But really nothing is happening and I don't know why I spend a year dreading what people think . Screw them xxx

Be strong try don't to worry . I havnt had a word said to me and I don't think I will .