Family and Friends Forum

Confused&worried

Just wanted to send you hugs and sorry you are having a tough time, the journey is awful it's great that you are supporting him and he is working on himself

For.me its different as it is my son who offended

Only you can decide on what to do and what is best for you and your family but your emotions are and will be all over the place so dont put pressure on yourself on having to make a decision as yet xx

:( it's a tuff one that I'm unsure about myself . I think one day I don't want this life then the next day I think I don't see many people anyway. The things we can do as a family with my partner outway the things I do with others with children at the moment . After hiding this secret for 15 months I just basilcy either sat with my partner and children or alone. I didn't have a que of people at the door wanting to see me . But it's different for everyone . I was more worries about the children having friends over ect . But there not alot I can do about that . She sees friends all day at school and sees her dad at night :/ if there events I will take her along . Halloween bonfire Christmas are all worrying times for me kids knocking at the door party's ect . But I've made it through the summer while all neighbors were having BBQs pool party's so I'm sure we'll get threw the winter months .try not to worry to much info it's hard there nothing that worrying will help. If sh** hits the fan it does and you will survive it I promise . Xxx

I feel the same Confused. It's so hard. My husband plead guilty last week so he is now a convicted sex offender, he hasn't been sentenced yet so we're in limbo as to what restrictions are and he's not yet moved back home and won't be until at least January but already I'm thinking ahead to Christmas and events we'd normally go to and how I don't feel comfortable taking him. My sister and her family will be staying at Christmas but they already know what's happening, but we have other family we'll be seeing with children who don't yet know. We normally have events with friends we'd go to but some of them know, some don't. I don't feel comfortable asking them to let him come, I'd rather he just stayed away as there'll be teenage girls there which is who he was talking to (though decoys and I don't think he'd do anything, but also know how awkward it could be). My kids are teenagers and I don't want them to fall they can't have friends and potentially girlfriends over, because their dad messed up, that's not fair on them. Also having visor turn up anytime. My kids were at home alone when we had the knock. I want to support him as a friend as we're his only support, but that also feels like I'm giving him false hope that we may get back together. Some days it feels easier just to let him come home and we somehow repair our relationship, other days i can't see how. Then I think maybe once the kids turn 18, it'll be easier, but that's a few years away for the youngest.

Sorry that turned into a long post and probably isn't very helpful other than I know how confusing it all is.

Hi confused, we are 4 months post sentencing and I still feel the same. Partner is back home, trying to repair our relationship but I am so up and down, back and forth with how I feel, if I want to stay or leave, if I can live like this for years to come. I've learned just to roll with the feelings as they differ daily, and not make any rash decisions.
If you feel it's best he doesn't attend somewhere then so be it and it probably is for the best. He should understand.
there's no timescales for you to make your mind up. I'm hoping things will get easier in time but I too worry lots about friends/girlfriends etc x