Siblings of offenders
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I've read many posts regarding husband's being the offender's. Is there anyone on here that it was their brother that's the offender? As my situation and feelings will be different to those whose husbands offend.
Dec 18 my brother was arrested for making (means saving a copy of an image not taking the image), receiving & distribution of child images. He was also in possession of a peadophile manual. Bail was refused and placed on remand.
Fast forward to today, Apr 19. He is still on remand in prison, pleading guilty so no trial. We are just waiting for probation to submit their risk assessment and then he will be sentenced.
I am sickened by what he is, I hate him with a passion, I've looked him in the eye across a visiting table and told him I wish he was dead for what he has contributed to that sick dark world.
I also feel I am grieving for the brother I thought he was, the brother I've lost.
But I also flip to the need to support his rehabilitation. He has spoken to me many times since december openly and very honestly. He wrote to his solicitor giving me full access to his case, has found a prison hours away from where his family live that he will apply for. As they only take sex offenders and the rehabilitation is highly recommended.
I struggle with the emotional turmoil inside of I want to support his rehabilitation in a hope to save future children. But I visualise burying him and wishing him to rot in hell. I'm messed up over this emotional tug of war.
Today I made a call to stop it now and showed interest on a course they offer. In the meantime they have pointed me here and I read the family area which I found really helpful so I thought I would pop in here to see if anyone can relate.
Give yourselves a massive break from your demons and a hug for being the superwomen you are. X
Dec 18 my brother was arrested for making (means saving a copy of an image not taking the image), receiving & distribution of child images. He was also in possession of a peadophile manual. Bail was refused and placed on remand.
Fast forward to today, Apr 19. He is still on remand in prison, pleading guilty so no trial. We are just waiting for probation to submit their risk assessment and then he will be sentenced.
I am sickened by what he is, I hate him with a passion, I've looked him in the eye across a visiting table and told him I wish he was dead for what he has contributed to that sick dark world.
I also feel I am grieving for the brother I thought he was, the brother I've lost.
But I also flip to the need to support his rehabilitation. He has spoken to me many times since december openly and very honestly. He wrote to his solicitor giving me full access to his case, has found a prison hours away from where his family live that he will apply for. As they only take sex offenders and the rehabilitation is highly recommended.
I struggle with the emotional turmoil inside of I want to support his rehabilitation in a hope to save future children. But I visualise burying him and wishing him to rot in hell. I'm messed up over this emotional tug of war.
Today I made a call to stop it now and showed interest on a course they offer. In the meantime they have pointed me here and I read the family area which I found really helpful so I thought I would pop in here to see if anyone can relate.
Give yourselves a massive break from your demons and a hug for being the superwomen you are. X
Hi the sister
We're all on here for different reasons but ultimately our emotions are very similar.
I don't think you're feeling anything more it less than those of us who's father, partner, husband it is.
I know my emotions with my husband have ranged from being disgusted, wanting him to die and loving him so much it physically hurt.
You go through a grieving process and there is no wrong or right way to feel, you're doing great and I'm glad you have been in touch with LF, they are amazing and unfortunately the only support that's out there, as you know, it's not a conversation you generally bring up with all and sundry!
Keep coming on here, you'll get nothing but support
Stay strong xx
We're all on here for different reasons but ultimately our emotions are very similar.
I don't think you're feeling anything more it less than those of us who's father, partner, husband it is.
I know my emotions with my husband have ranged from being disgusted, wanting him to die and loving him so much it physically hurt.
You go through a grieving process and there is no wrong or right way to feel, you're doing great and I'm glad you have been in touch with LF, they are amazing and unfortunately the only support that's out there, as you know, it's not a conversation you generally bring up with all and sundry!
Keep coming on here, you'll get nothing but support
Stay strong xx
I fully understand that feeling that you are grieving as I felt exactly the same about my son. I've never really pushed for him to meet someone but that will surely never happen now and he'll never have children either I suppose. How are your other family members feeling and have you been able to talk to them about how you all feel?
Hi The Sister - I am also 'the sister' of an offender.
My brother and his wife had 'The Knock' a year ago, but he still has not been charged. All computer equipment and a huge collection of memory sticks and CDRoms were removed. Evidence was found on his laptop within minutes and he was taken to the Police station and then released, pending investigation, later that day. He attempted suicide the following day - he has now been rehoused and is getting support from all kinds of agencies; his wife and family are left to struggle through the catastrophic fallout.
My sister in law is still traumatised, and struggling with her mental health.
I was estranged from my brother - he had alienated all of the family and it appears that he has behaved appallingly to his wife, children, former girlfriends and their children - coercive control and domestic violence.
I am so angry with him - our mother is elderly and is so upset, feel guilty as she raised him, can't understand why has has done all these dreadful thing, etc. I feel I never knew him at all.
The file has been with the CPS for several months - the waiting is just awful.
My brother and his wife had 'The Knock' a year ago, but he still has not been charged. All computer equipment and a huge collection of memory sticks and CDRoms were removed. Evidence was found on his laptop within minutes and he was taken to the Police station and then released, pending investigation, later that day. He attempted suicide the following day - he has now been rehoused and is getting support from all kinds of agencies; his wife and family are left to struggle through the catastrophic fallout.
My sister in law is still traumatised, and struggling with her mental health.
I was estranged from my brother - he had alienated all of the family and it appears that he has behaved appallingly to his wife, children, former girlfriends and their children - coercive control and domestic violence.
I am so angry with him - our mother is elderly and is so upset, feel guilty as she raised him, can't understand why has has done all these dreadful thing, etc. I feel I never knew him at all.
The file has been with the CPS for several months - the waiting is just awful.