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Ending the relationship

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PurpleRain

Member since
September 2022

34 posts

Posted Sat October 29, 2022 4:08pmReport post

So I decided to end my relationship with my offending partner a week after the knock.

His offence has left me without a home, a single parent to a 4 month old and I will now not be able to return to work and continue my career until my daughter is of school age.


I need to seek some counselling therapy for myself but I don't know what kind of therapist I need to be seeking. Anyone having therapy that has any suggestions as to what I need to be seeking?


I'm struggling a lot as I feel like a massive part of my life has just shut down and disappeared. I really respect and admire the people on here that have the strength to stick by their partner but I'm just not strong enough to do it.



Thankyou in advance x

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

993 posts

Posted Sat October 29, 2022 4:21pmReport post

Hi,

To leave or to stay takes courage and strength. You are strong for following a path that feels right for you and your daughter. I am a single parent too and career prospects have seemed bleak but I'm hoping to set up my own business soon.
I had cbt and hypnotherapy. If I had my time over I probably would have contacted a stop so therapist because there is trauma from this type of offence that requires someone with an understanding and professional experience. I'd probably still have the hypnotherapy because this has helped me to become more resilient in day to day stuff. I hope you find the right support for you and the practical help you need xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sat October 29, 2022 4:22pmReport post

PurpleRain

Please call the helpline as they can recommend a therapist who can support you xx

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Sat October 29, 2022 4:30pmReport post

Ahhh honey. Listen its. OK to cry and feel bad. Let. It all out you're greiving the life you thought you'd have, go with it. I've accepted my life I planned is gone but after a long way Down the line. Give yourself time and call the. Helpline, gp, a friend, we are here also for you, rant away but I promise it will get easier x

Edited Sat October 29, 2022 4:33pm

majestictopaz

Member since
December 2019

499 posts

Posted Sat October 29, 2022 6:00pmReport post

Stop SO have a database of therapist versed in iioc offending and can provide help to anyone impacted- going for therapists that don't have the training might led to mis guided advice.

Or, you can look to get support but not mention the offending - if this is possible. I have had multiple therapy for other aspects of my life and I dont disclose my partner's offence.

I had CBT for my anxiety and support for work life balance issues- didn't mention my partner much as I wanted to focus on me.

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Sat October 29, 2022 11:38pmReport post

Give Stop So a call or email and they will put your in touch with a specialist therapist. Everyone needs therapy after going through this or just someone impartial to speak to.

staying or leaving are both personal choices, both difficult and brave in their own right so don't ever think you are not strong enough, you've made a decision one way or another and that shows how strong you are! X