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Hi,
I wondered if anyone has been in the same position. My OH has been accused of sending an indecent picture of himself to a teenage girl not actually having iioc on his devices.
Still an awful situation but just wondered where he stands. We're still waiting for full forensic check but he's adamant they won't find anything like that at all. Police wouldn't disclose to me what he'd been arrested for but when I said what he'd told me they confirmed it was correct so so far hes told me the truth but who knows. If that is the case that's it's just that photo would be still be looking at a jail sentence or SOR?
I wondered if anyone has been in the same position. My OH has been accused of sending an indecent picture of himself to a teenage girl not actually having iioc on his devices.
Still an awful situation but just wondered where he stands. We're still waiting for full forensic check but he's adamant they won't find anything like that at all. Police wouldn't disclose to me what he'd been arrested for but when I said what he'd told me they confirmed it was correct so so far hes told me the truth but who knows. If that is the case that's it's just that photo would be still be looking at a jail sentence or SOR?
Hi,
My person was charged with sexual communication with a minor, causing a child to view sexual material (sent porn links) and inciting a child to engage in sexual activity (spoke about masturbation). He was remanded until sentencing so I'm not sure if this played a part in avoiding a prison sentence but he got a 3 year community order, 5 years SHPO and 5 years on sor xxx
My person was charged with sexual communication with a minor, causing a child to view sexual material (sent porn links) and inciting a child to engage in sexual activity (spoke about masturbation). He was remanded until sentencing so I'm not sure if this played a part in avoiding a prison sentence but he got a 3 year community order, 5 years SHPO and 5 years on sor xxx
Hey Lily,
With this kind of alleged offence it could potentially result in more than one offence. Often with communication there will be a charge for actual communication which can also incur charge for incite activity and also sending images of yourself which is inciting a child to view images so if there is clear evidence that the alleged offender was aware of the user's age (whether the user is actually underage or whether it wasn't believed) and then continued the conversation this is seen as illegal and unfortunately will mean SOR and whatever sentence is given. You are very much in the same situation I was almost 18 months ago and until the evidence is released once charged it is a case of choosing to believe what your partner tells you as some people tell untruths or diminish what they've actually done it can be very hard to know what to do. My advice would be to take things with a pinch of salt, hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Xx
With this kind of alleged offence it could potentially result in more than one offence. Often with communication there will be a charge for actual communication which can also incur charge for incite activity and also sending images of yourself which is inciting a child to view images so if there is clear evidence that the alleged offender was aware of the user's age (whether the user is actually underage or whether it wasn't believed) and then continued the conversation this is seen as illegal and unfortunately will mean SOR and whatever sentence is given. You are very much in the same situation I was almost 18 months ago and until the evidence is released once charged it is a case of choosing to believe what your partner tells you as some people tell untruths or diminish what they've actually done it can be very hard to know what to do. My advice would be to take things with a pinch of salt, hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Xx
Thanks everyone! I have read that it would be classed as communication and causing distress to a minor so definitely illegal. I'm just trying to understand why? is he attracted to children? None of ot makes any sense at all.
I think I'm hoping it's just that but who knows what else they'll uncover.
Its the waiting, it's just awful. I have said to my OH now is the time to tell me everything and he says he has but let's face it, the trust is already broken isn't it.
I just can't believe I am in this situation :(
I think I'm hoping it's just that but who knows what else they'll uncover.
Its the waiting, it's just awful. I have said to my OH now is the time to tell me everything and he says he has but let's face it, the trust is already broken isn't it.
I just can't believe I am in this situation :(
There are many factors in why people commit these types of crimes. Contrary to what society believes, most men who engage in sexual communication with minors or view iioc are attracted to them. For my person he had spiralled into depression and felt like he had lost control of his life. He needed help but didn't know how to ask for it. For others it's because they chase the buzz they used to get from porn, this played a part in my persons case too. I found doing the inform course for family very useful xxx
Generally people who are attracted to children are not attracted to adults as well. It's a common myth so as others have said that falling into a spiral is usually due to porn addictions, depression etc.
So to have someone actually interested in children have relationships with adult women etc is extremely rare.
So to have someone actually interested in children have relationships with adult women etc is extremely rare.
Since the knock it has all come out that his gambling (some of which I knew about) is out of control, he's got himself into debt and I think similar to what others have said he's just spiralled out of control. He's said he feels better it's all out in the open but again, I don't know if I can fully trust until I get the full forensics. I think it's been some kind of buzz (as they say) for him. The incidents so far have been over a couple of days 6 months ago so I don't know if that means he's had a weak moment and made a really bad choice or is it just the tip of the iceberg. We've talked a little but it is a struggle and I've still got some difficult questions for him but not sure to wait until I know all the facts.
Do any of us ever really find everything out?
Do any of us ever really find everything out?
I think the best thing you can do is ask whatever you need to when you're ready to. You may already have the full truth. I didn't find out the full truth until after my person had done some work on himself and trusted me when I said that we couldn't start to move forward and look at rebuilding until I knew everything. He was remanded so difficult to have that conversation until after sentencing and I'd just given birth so I think I threw myself into caring for our daughter and put "us" to the back of my mind. This journey is hard but keep coming here for support xxx
If you don't mind me asking why would your OH be put on remand rather than bail? I really don't understand the police system. I am pushing for my OH to reach out and talk to someone so hopefully it will help us both.
I don't actually know why he was remanded, he wasn't ever given a reason for bail being rejected. I think it's because I said he couldn't be bailed to my address and they didn't ask his parents. The police were particularly heavy handed in the whole thing in his case, not sure if they felt they were protecting me because I was pregnant xxx
Oh okay that makes sense I suppose. My OH has been bailed to his moms which is round the corner so we can still see him.
It must have been/ still is so hard for you with a newborn. Sending love and strength xxxx
It must have been/ still is so hard for you with a newborn. Sending love and strength xxxx
Thank you. Sending love and strength back to you. Baby is 20 months now so I could do with sleep and I have two teenagers so a cleaner would be useful too lol xxx
I should add I meant aren't attracted to children. We'll blame lack of sleep for that slip up
I should add I meant aren't attracted to children. We'll blame lack of sleep for that slip up