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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 4:23pmReport post

Never would you expect to be here the life before this journey

But we all have found a place to talk and not be judged

This journey impacts not only the offender but the whole family

It's a truly heartbreaking experience

I wish my son could have opened up and spoke to me but this is not something he could have spoken about

I have looked at my self why did I not know

But we don't why would we

The strength of each and everyone of us is truly unique

As is this journey

Take each day, one step at a time

There is no right or wrong you just have to do what is right for you

As a mum my love out weighs what he has done

His father wants nothing to do with him but his relationship was strained before this

I cant imagine for others with no support what it feels like

My son is a good person who got lost in this

Xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 5:04pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Mon October 31, 2022 4:26am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 5:37pmReport post

Smile

We brought our sons into this world, we neutered and loved them

Yes it is a shit situation to be in

But we are here

A mothers love is unconditional

My son wouldn't talk to me he got pissed of when I tried to talk to him

But now we have such a close relationship and its the same as he has with his sister

But it took us to get to here

Heartbreaking xx

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 6:07pmReport post

I always relate to your posts so much from a Mom perspective.xx

Big hug and love to you both. You two are so genuine, your love and pain show in every post and so does your strength.x

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 6:10pmReport post

Ps - I've looked for the mumsnet name post but I can't find it - I think a lot has been deleted since another member took a break (I really hope she comes back! Xx)

Pop it here if you feel like it - then delete x

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

634 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 6:17pmReport post

Upset mum and Smile

You are two wonderful women on here, always giving supportive words to others. I was thinking you are a bit like our adopted mums - although it's possible you may both be younger than me :)

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 6:26pmReport post

Polly are you on mumsnet?x

Bitterbean, Thank you as a mum you will always be there x I will be 56 next Birthday lol x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 6:36pmReport post

What lovely comments ladies - Thankyou.....'

Wonder who our oldest friend is in this forum - I'm 64 xxxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 6:45pmReport post

Smile I have always wondered about your situation and how similar our journey are

We have bonded over the love for our sons even though we dont agree with what they have done

Our relationships with our sons is at the forefront of what been a mum means is about

Unconditional love no matter what xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 6:46pmReport post

I could easily give my son a slap after what he's put me through. But his lovely personality still shines with his unique sense of humour.

Tomo he has a medical appt - it could be for an eye test or tooth extraction. He's not sure what it's all about. Visions of him opening his mouth wide and them placing a letter chart in front of him to read.... we had a giggle about that one!

I know our calls make his day! Although we do get to address more serious stuff.

Edited Sun October 30, 2022 6:50pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 7:17pmReport post

Smile that made me laugh xx

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Sun October 30, 2022 7:42pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun October 30, 2022 9:04pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Mon October 31, 2022 4:31amReport post

Love you all xxxxxxx Granny Smile - til the day I meet my maker I will never forget this forum and how you wonderful people have supported me throughout this dreadful time.

At the beginning a dithering wreck but now (mostly) dealing with it. Thanks to you guys x

Polly Pocket

Member since
May 2022

440 posts

Posted Mon October 31, 2022 7:56amReport post

Oh Smile xxxxxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Mon October 31, 2022 8:58pmReport post

Neither appointment happened. Healthcare in prison is dire......

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Tue November 1, 2022 4:34pmReport post

Smile,

I think so much is dire in prison to be honest xx

Edited Tue November 1, 2022 4:35pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Tue November 1, 2022 6:37pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Tue November 1, 2022 8:55pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Tue November 1, 2022 7:13pmReport post

Evening Smile,

Petty much the same I think

He filed out his forms back in May for education they were returned last week as not completed fully!

He has 2 jobs one is repairing bicycles but they bring a reading book half the time as the trainer isn't great to teach and the other is metal work class again not stimulating but he gets paid a whopping £11 a week

The food has gone downhill he lives of chocolate and crisps so his energy levels are not great but his mental health is better than ot was he is back on antidepressants

I know its prison but honestly how does this help them! So frustrating x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Tue November 1, 2022 7:34pmReport post

again it all boils down to staffing - if they are covered they have more time out, no staff more lock-up.

Nothing seems to move forward - no stimulation. I think it's the worst prison he's been in! But he's ok with the others, has his own cell, belongings so he's content enough it seems........

Ive treated him to a PS2 - lord knows when he'll get that!!!!!!

Edited Tue November 1, 2022 7:37pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Tue November 1, 2022 7:50pmReport post

Hi.Smile,

Same.for.my son having his own space has been a godsend x

He just had a second hand xbox delivered it took about 5 wks from ordering to getting with 3 games , he hasn't been near any tech for over a year ,

Anything to.pass away some.time eh xx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Tue November 1, 2022 7:50pmReport post

Hi.Smile,

Same.for.my son having his own space has been a godsend x

He just had a second hand xbox delivered it took about 5 wks from ordering to getting with 3 games , he hasn't been near any tech for over a year ,

Anything to.pass away some.time eh xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Tue November 1, 2022 8:46pmReport post

My lad reckons theres loads of dvds and games that get passed around and swopped.

I didn't particularly want him to have a console but if it keeps him sane - job done.

yhey certainly don't offer much stimulation do they?

Edited Wed November 2, 2022 4:18am

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Wed November 2, 2022 8:12amReport post

Sorry to jump on this thread, but wondered how they get a Play Station - Do they save up spends? My person wants some red paper and some needles to do some crafting and it just seems impossible other than saving his spends up and putting in a app once a month. Wondered if I'd missed a way? We joke about all the things that could be smuggled into a prison is that all he wants is a needle, some red paper and a battery watch.

The ways of the prison are so extremely slow, inconsistent and frustrating.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Wed November 2, 2022 9:28amReport post

Hi Sal - my son is lucky I can afford to send him money! He also saves up what he earns as a gardener.

He's on enhanced status so allowed more stuff...... he buys his craft bits and extra clothes on his canteen. I only send him puzzle books etc. Which he has to wait an eternity to receive.....

They must make a whole lotta profit on the canteen system!

Edited Wed November 2, 2022 9:30am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Wed November 2, 2022 3:54pmReport post

Hi Sal

The prison should have a catalogue for game consoles they are second hand and are brought thru there, I will.ask my son later we have a video call later x

I send money in via pay a prisoner and it goes in to there personal acc he can then draw down in to his canteen account I think its £30 a week then he gets paid for his prison job xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Wed November 2, 2022 4:30pmReport post

I know my son hates asking me for money - tells me to take it out 'his' money at home - but I know he'll need every single penny he's got on release, so very reluctant to use it.

If it makes life more tolerable for him then that makes me happy......

Edited Wed November 2, 2022 4:32pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Wed November 2, 2022 5:57pmReport post

Hi Sal

Spoke to my son he said it depends on the prison he is at as they all have different rules if game consoles are permitted x



Evening Smile,

I am.the same my son had some money before he went to prison so I moved it to.a savings account and at money for his birthday etc he will need money for when he gets out xx

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Wed November 2, 2022 6:17pmReport post

Thank you Upset Mum, that's what I thought but I thought it was worth checking I'd not missed something. That's a lot of weeks savings! But all these things do help.

My person also doesn't want me spending my money, I do use some of his, but calls, letters, sending things in the only way I can show my love and support, so I do spend some of my own money. It must be so hard for those with no one on the outside to help.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Wed November 2, 2022 6:35pmReport post

Hi SAL

We were saying that on our call earlier and it made me feel so sad , how some have no support at all x