Family and Friends Forum

Christmas Anxiety

Notifications OFF

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 9:38amReport post

Hi All

Just wondered if anyone is dreading Christmas this year, families politics, families forced to live apart and family members refusing to be around eachother.

It fills me with dread, my partner won't be around my brother which means Christmas will be different this year. I would rather spend Christmas just the two of us and not see my parents, then my brother be on his own (he doesn't have a partner so will spend the time with my parents, they are all he has got).

I really wish I could shake the feeling of dread. I know there are lots of families who have issues without this crime but its all new to me. I really hope one day my partner will forgive.

X

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

993 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 9:54amReport post

Hi,

We do Christmas over three days, I have one day with just my children, the older two go to their dads and little one and me go to her grandparents for a day with her dad and his family, then me and the kids all have another Christmas with my family. Is it an option for you to have Christmas day with your partner and another day with your parents and brother? Sending love xxx

Loulou22

Member since
October 2022

50 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 11:50amReport post

Yes I am dreading Christmas having had the knock six weeks ago in relation to our eldest son. My other two (adult) children wont have anything other than cursory conversations with him and my 4 year old grandson won't be able to come over either. Christmas had in the last 4 years become magical again with the arrival of our grandchild and now it looks very bleak. My step daughter will be coming over on Boxing Day with her fiancé and she doesn't know as she lives a long way away and so we didn't think she needed to be told at this stage. The thought of having to put a smile on my face and pretend to celebrate is so depressing. Also worrying about her wedding next year and how we will manage that.

Loulou22

Member since
October 2022

50 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 11:51amReport post

Like your brother Sadsister, we are all my eldest son has. He has nowhere else to go.

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 1:03pmReport post

I know how you feel on this one ladies..... you show smiles but inside the pain and sadness is there.

you 'smile through tears'......

Edited Wed November 9, 2022 1:27pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 2:25pmReport post

I can totally relate to how you are all feeling

But we get through it as best as we can xx

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 2:56pmReport post

My partners trial is due the first week of December so I'm not even planning anything and either I'll be on my own, we'll be together having gotten through it or we'll be waiting a new date if it gets delayed. Last Christmas was a bit of a rubbish one as we both had covid and I couldn't help but compare it to the one before where we just had our whole future ahead of us with nothing to worry about. I often do that with all occasions, think about how previous ones were "normal" and not covered in a shroud of the depressing unknown and anxiety. Xx

oh yeah the reason last Christmas was also rubbish was because the smug little OIC delivered the charges with his stupid smug face so that was what pretty much ruined it! I knew there was more to it than just my brain!

Edited Wed November 9, 2022 2:58pm

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 4:55pmReport post

Hi All

I am glad I am not alone with my anxiety over the festive period and my heart goes out to you all.

If anyone feels alone over christmas, please do message on here as I will be checking the page, hopefully we can get through this together.

LouLou - I am going to suggest a day where I can be with Parents & brother to swap presents etc so hopefully that will help.

Distressed & Pregnant - Spreading your gatherings over three days sounds like a good idea, thank you

Baffled - I wish you all the best for the beginning of December, keep us posted

Smile - you are totally right we all 'smile through the tears'

loulou74

Member since
September 2022

255 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 4:55pmReport post

Yes I'm dreading it. Husband due to be sentenced beginning of December so no idea if he'll be around, though hoping for suspended but as we know nothing is a given.

My sister and her family (they know) are staying with us and plan is that husband will join us for Christmas Day but no idea how we'll manage visiting family. I'm tempted not to see anyone else and take kids away for New Year.

Sadsister22

Member since
February 2022

95 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 5:07pmReport post

Hi loulou74,

I totally get how you feel, waiting for sentencing is bad enough, but on top of christmas too must be so hard. I am glad you have supportive family who are willing to spend time with him no matter the outcome.

TV adverts, xmas songs, people talking about putting their decs up makes my skin crawl, I am annoying myself at what a 'Grinch' I have become. Glad I have no children (yet) to worry about.

Come on ladies we can and will have a nice time!!!

Jayjay

Member since
December 2021

695 posts

Posted Wed November 9, 2022 7:49pmReport post

Last Xmas we had had the knock a month before. I was on autopilot, highly strung, manic whatever you want to call it. I threw myself into Xmas events, activities, making a fabulous for our children, I was out all the time, never relaxed and never spent anytime in the house, not giving myself a chance to deal or think about what was actually happening. But it gave me a distraction to get through it.

this year post sentencing and somehow struggling more! We now have 3 family members who don't speak to us so certain family gatherings at Xmas will not be happening, it will be strange x