Family and Friends Forum

I actually can't believe I'm writing this. My husband was sentenced today. He received a custodial sentence of 30 months and will serve 15 months in prison and 15 months on licence. He is on the register indefinitely.

We are all in absolute shock. His solicitor had always said to expect a community payback order and can't believe the sentence my husband has been given. He had engaged with a counsellor with stopitnow, he had completed the Informplus course during the summer. Started working fulltime again and engaged in private counselling every weekend. He even returned to studying for a degree again. He was really doing better and finally addressing his mental health. The judge took nothing into account. Everything was disregarded, even the criminal justice social workers recommendation was disregarded.

Everyone has said there was nothing more he could have done since his arrest. He wrote an accountability letter, I wrote a letter explaining how I was supporting my husbands rehabilitation and how we would do everything to ensure this would never happen again. His counsellor wrote a letter saying she was happy he was successfully addressing his issues and will continue to work with him after sentencing. The criminal justice social worker said he was recommending a community payback order and assessed my husband as low risk.

My world has just collapsed for the second time since the knock. I'm absolutely devastated. All I want to do is hug my husband and tell him to be strong. I'd love to pick up the phone and tell him everything will be OK. Im devastated. I already miss him.

Thanks so much for all the comforting responses. I'm still in a bit of shock but I know I need to get my head together and be strong for my daughter first and my husband second. Anger is definitely setting in aswel. I'm angry at my husband, at the judge, at kik messenger where this nightmare started.

So he pled guilty to possession and distribution of the 3 categories. No searching, no communication with a decoy, no chat relating to children. I'm in no way condoning anything he chose to do but the forensics came back that he sent one man in England 3 images...3 too many but that's why the solicitor always said to expect a community order. Because the numbers were so low, first offence, totally out of character and all the work he had done since the arrest.

The solicitor assured us that there was nothing more he could have done to work on his offending. He sought private counselling for porn addiction and anxiety/depression. He contacted his G.P. who referred him for an autism assessment which we had just received this week. He started antidepressants just after the arrest. He lost his job immediately but found fulltime employment in April and was giving me money monthly towards our baby.

If we ever tried speaking to the solicitors about custodials we were always assured it would never come to this. The criminal justice social worker recommended a community payback order and stated that there was no benefit to a custodial as he was already rehabilitating with professionals and doctors since arrest and had lost so much in his life since his arrest. He was assessed by C.J.S.W. as low risk. He ended up receiving the maximum custodial for his offence.

I can't understand why background reports are done after the plea and then a risk assessment if they are just disregarded anyway. Why did the police hand me a letter about contacting Stopitnow and about the informplus course for offenders...all just disregarded.

I agree he should have been massively punished but If he's low risk then why can't he be punished in the community?? How does this save children online???What about the family left behind....we were hugely punished before he was even sentenced. We lost our home and most of our possessions. Then he will be released and have to claim welfare from the state, he had a job and was paying his taxes, bills, rent, paying for his child...it really is madness.

Thanks so much upset Mum. Just needed to rant...don't know where to put the shock and defeat yet.

My husband is now on suicide watch in the prison which is both comforting and very unsettling at the same time. I lost hope for a few hours on Wednesday after sentencing until I spoke to my dad who has been so supportive of my husband. He said as long as our loved ones are breathing than there is always hope. He told me 15 months will seem so short when we're in our 80s and have had a full life after prison.

I just need to stop focusing on the 30 months sentencing. He will serve 15 in prison but unfortunately that also means he is indefinitely on the register which I'm scared to even know the repercussions that will have for the rest of our lives and our little babys future.

Tabs something you said about appealing which worries me, you had said it wouldn't make a difference. After hubby was given the custodial we met his solicitor immediately outside the courtroom and I just fell apart, begging him to let me speak to the judge to reconsider (desperate broken wife here who feels she's losing her marbles after the knock and would get on my knees and beg for mercy)

The solicitor said he was shocked by the harsh sentencing and couldn't understand how the judge could give 30 months and disregard all the work he had done on himself and the background reports. He told me not to panic because he will be appealing this. He said my husband is now a schedule 1 offender because of the severe custodial handed. Which is as bad as it can be and indefinite on the register which means lifetime but can try to appeal after 15 years to be removed. I think schedule 1 is as serious as rape as far as I can work out from some research. In my husbands forensic evidence it shows there were no contact offences and no communication, no chat about meeting up with anyone. There wasn't any googling for images, images were sent to him on kik messenger and he stupidly sent on 3 images to a random man in England. We're in Scotland.

The solicitor said that he has two weeks to appeal but isint even going to wait that long. He is going to appeal immediately...this was before speaking to my husband. The decision was made. Solicitor said he knows a QC and will be asking him for more advice regarding the appeal.

It seems unbelievable but solicitor said it could take a few weeks/couple of months before husband was out of prison. He wouldn't be home this weekend but a few weeks. He said we have nothing to lose here. He seems quite sure this can be appealed. Are we all just in dreamland now clinging on to false hope???

Tabs thanks so much for the quick response. I'm glad your person isint on the register "for life", it's something to work towards at least. My head is still spinning from Wednesday. I woke up this morning and cried. Just feel despair. In the moments I feel strong I think that we can get through the 15 month custodial and the 15 months released on licence but it's the indefinite time on the register and everything that will bring. I worry if our little baby will ever have a father. Will I ever have a normal marriage again when he's out. I worry he will commit suicide during the custodial and even more so after it. If it was 10 years on the register then at least this ends. This feel like in a way he's been handed a life sentence...but just won't serve all of it in the prison. Xx

Bluebellblue and Smile through tears I completely agree. There needs to be proper tiers to how offenders are sentenced. My husband pled guilty to possession and distribution. He sent a stranger in England 3 images. We were told by everyone it wouldn't be a custodial because numbers were so low. I am in no way minimising what my husband chose to do but how can he basically get the same sentence as a rapist including being on the register indefinitely. I personally think that is a very dangerous message to send to offenders and the general public if it gets into the media. What is the deterent to stop these crimes ending in worse outcomes than distributing images if the punishment is the same???? How does that keep children safe???? How does sitting in a cell for 15 months save the children online??? My husband was assessed as low risk during the background reports requested by the judge so surely continuing his therapy and serving his punishment in the community would help prevent these type of online crimes. It needs to be more about public awareness with pornography and therapy than prison in my opinion. It seems like a quick fix to me, easier and faster to throw them in a cell than to address this huge issue.

Ruby246 can I ask you what life looks life after prison with our similar cases and custodials? We have an 11 month old baby who thankfully has no idea of what's happened but it's the future and being on the SOR indefinitely that is terrifying me. I know we can try to appeal the length of SOR after 15 years but even that is a very very long time. Will my husband eventually be allowed to be a father to our child in some capacity? Will this be once our child is over 16 years of age? He's been assessed as low risk so will social services ever allow us to live as a family when there are children present? You made a good point when you said about partners and sons having to go cold turkey from the Internet when serving their time in prison. I just wished there was a way he could keep going with his counselling in prison....because surely thats the ultimate outcome, ending child abuse online with our partners and sons addressing their issues, addictions so this never happens again.