A Journey that is not understood by many
Notifications OFF
This journey is totally out of our control and yet we all find ourselves here through no fault of our own
Society does not understand that our loved ones are decent human beings
Yes I understand there are men and women who are not and this is not me excusing what my son has done by no means
We hold ourselves accountable why did we not see, was it something I did or didn't do
We are punished by our friends and family
We are made to feel if we stay and support then we two are guilty
None of us wanted this, why on earth would we
Our lives are turned upside down, the pain, the anxiety, the sheer shock and sadness and shame but yet we are here and each and everyone of us are strong, it may not feel like it sometimes but we are
If you choose to stay why are you tarnished
If you choose to walk why is it wrong
Friends and family have not been in this situation and God forbid they did I would want to be there and offer help and support
To all you lovely strong ladies you will get through this, you will make the most important decisions that is right for you and no matter what others say do what is right for you and no one else
I will always be there for my son no matter what
Hugs to you all xx
Society does not understand that our loved ones are decent human beings
Yes I understand there are men and women who are not and this is not me excusing what my son has done by no means
We hold ourselves accountable why did we not see, was it something I did or didn't do
We are punished by our friends and family
We are made to feel if we stay and support then we two are guilty
None of us wanted this, why on earth would we
Our lives are turned upside down, the pain, the anxiety, the sheer shock and sadness and shame but yet we are here and each and everyone of us are strong, it may not feel like it sometimes but we are
If you choose to stay why are you tarnished
If you choose to walk why is it wrong
Friends and family have not been in this situation and God forbid they did I would want to be there and offer help and support
To all you lovely strong ladies you will get through this, you will make the most important decisions that is right for you and no matter what others say do what is right for you and no one else
I will always be there for my son no matter what
Hugs to you all xx
All so true Upset.
There are no 'right' or 'wrongs' in this journey. So many different sinaroes and circumstances in our stories.
But we help each other along the way. We understand how each other feels - this forum keeps me on track..... it's absolutely pure gold.
There are no 'right' or 'wrongs' in this journey. So many different sinaroes and circumstances in our stories.
But we help each other along the way. We understand how each other feels - this forum keeps me on track..... it's absolutely pure gold.
Such true words -there is a quote by the American philosopher Ram Dass that " We're all just walking each other home" and it is very relevant to the support on this forum.
We may be at different stages but we are all going through this hellish nightmare and finding strength to navigate our way.
We may be at different stages but we are all going through this hellish nightmare and finding strength to navigate our way.
So very true Upset mum. I think most of these men are good men who've done something stupid and will pay for it for many years, as will we, as the innocent loved ones in their lives. I don't know if I'll forgive my husband for what he has put us through but I do still believe he is a good man and I would like to keep him in my life and not just for the kids' sake.
This is the journey from hell
I often think why me, why us, why did my son think this was acceptable, it's not but I wasn't living in his mindset
Social media has opened the gates, yes they have a choice they know right from wrong
Men don't talk about what they are feeling, they dont open up full stop,
In my sons case he could not see him for who he was, he lacked confidence, but yet in his circle of friends he was loved and confident, but yet he was alone
Behind the screen he was a totally different person,
The media reported his crimes in such a horrific way
They made him out to be such an awful person
He is not what the media said
I was in court and I know his charges are
And I am truly heartbroken by his actions
But I understand how he got to this
I just wished he had opened up before but I know he couldn't
So now we are here, we have a long journey ahead
Our relationship is so strong, shame it wasn't before this, we talk, we laugh, I get to see him, I get to hug him a few times a month and for that I will always be grateful,
Why
Because the day of the knock all he thought about was taking his own life so as a mum I am not proud of what he did but I am proud he is still here xx
I often think why me, why us, why did my son think this was acceptable, it's not but I wasn't living in his mindset
Social media has opened the gates, yes they have a choice they know right from wrong
Men don't talk about what they are feeling, they dont open up full stop,
In my sons case he could not see him for who he was, he lacked confidence, but yet in his circle of friends he was loved and confident, but yet he was alone
Behind the screen he was a totally different person,
The media reported his crimes in such a horrific way
They made him out to be such an awful person
He is not what the media said
I was in court and I know his charges are
And I am truly heartbroken by his actions
But I understand how he got to this
I just wished he had opened up before but I know he couldn't
So now we are here, we have a long journey ahead
Our relationship is so strong, shame it wasn't before this, we talk, we laugh, I get to see him, I get to hug him a few times a month and for that I will always be grateful,
Why
Because the day of the knock all he thought about was taking his own life so as a mum I am not proud of what he did but I am proud he is still here xx
Post deleted by user
Smile x
Its awful
But we brought our sons into the world
We created them and we will always love and support
I sometimes think why don't I just walk away
But if I did who would he have
I wake up in the morning and I know I am a mum
We love our sons we don't have control over what they have done
But I will always be there as will his sister xx
Its awful
But we brought our sons into the world
We created them and we will always love and support
I sometimes think why don't I just walk away
But if I did who would he have
I wake up in the morning and I know I am a mum
We love our sons we don't have control over what they have done
But I will always be there as will his sister xx
Post deleted by user
Seaside, I really like that quote. We all came here at the darkest of times, trawling through the forum, links and literature into the small hours of the morning trying to piece things together. Finding out that there are others on this journey can be a blessing but my heart genuinely hurts for all of us and all those who are yet to know this journey. I want to warn everyone of the dangers out there but sadly it is a crime that society screams does not require understanding. I may one day scream back that we need to try something new as the numbers rise year after year. For now though I'll tell people close to me to have open discussions with their teenagers about porn and the dangers online. Love and strength to you all xxx
Smile
One day you will walk with him, you will link your arm in his and he won't be embarrassed why because he will know no matter of his actions you have been there
It dosent matter that you have not had a chance to see him, but you talk every day
You are an amazing mum so never doubt that
You been there is priceless x
One day you will walk with him, you will link your arm in his and he won't be embarrassed why because he will know no matter of his actions you have been there
It dosent matter that you have not had a chance to see him, but you talk every day
You are an amazing mum so never doubt that
You been there is priceless x
Wow. Amazing and wonderful mums. I wish my exes mum was the same. xxx
Hi Tabs
That is so sad that she isn't there for him xx
That is so sad that she isn't there for him xx
Upset mum thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Every situation, every relationship, every family, and every accuded/convicted is different and so there is no single right or wrong response by partners, parents, family, or friends.
What seems to be lacking is a sensible rational response to the proliferation of child sexual abuse. And how this is facilitated by the use of the Internet and Internet service providers. Until this somewhat thorny issue is tackled by working more effectively to remove offending material from the Internet, tighter controls on social media and other online platforms that allow offending communication, and something is done to calm media hype and hysteria about these crimes (yes these crimes are very wrong, but are they really as bad as rape, murder, and actual physical child abuse?) then the number of offenders is going to carry on increasing until the prisons are overflowing and every other person is on the sex offenders register.
Surely public money currently spent on punishment and subsequent monitoring /public shaming via SOR, SHPO, SW and other restrictions would be better spent on awareness and prevention?
Every situation, every relationship, every family, and every accuded/convicted is different and so there is no single right or wrong response by partners, parents, family, or friends.
What seems to be lacking is a sensible rational response to the proliferation of child sexual abuse. And how this is facilitated by the use of the Internet and Internet service providers. Until this somewhat thorny issue is tackled by working more effectively to remove offending material from the Internet, tighter controls on social media and other online platforms that allow offending communication, and something is done to calm media hype and hysteria about these crimes (yes these crimes are very wrong, but are they really as bad as rape, murder, and actual physical child abuse?) then the number of offenders is going to carry on increasing until the prisons are overflowing and every other person is on the sex offenders register.
Surely public money currently spent on punishment and subsequent monitoring /public shaming via SOR, SHPO, SW and other restrictions would be better spent on awareness and prevention?
Upset and Bitterbean I could not agree more with your words .
Education and rehabilitation are what's needed particularly about use of the internet and much more needs to be done to raise awareness.
Of course serious offences must be addressed and safeguarding is paramount but for the growing number of online offences where there is no contact, no images exchanged, no arrangement to meet and have addressed their behaviour how is it useful or in the public interest for someone to lose their job ( obviously some occupations would have to be stopped)their home and the support of partners ?
Why not impose fines, community orders and encourage training and education instead?
Social media platforms need to be held more accountable as well but it is easier to just label and punish people isn't it ?
Probably not making much sense here I'm afraid my brain is in overload today .
Education and rehabilitation are what's needed particularly about use of the internet and much more needs to be done to raise awareness.
Of course serious offences must be addressed and safeguarding is paramount but for the growing number of online offences where there is no contact, no images exchanged, no arrangement to meet and have addressed their behaviour how is it useful or in the public interest for someone to lose their job ( obviously some occupations would have to be stopped)their home and the support of partners ?
Why not impose fines, community orders and encourage training and education instead?
Social media platforms need to be held more accountable as well but it is easier to just label and punish people isn't it ?
Probably not making much sense here I'm afraid my brain is in overload today .
Post deleted by user
I live with the shadow of a family ultimatum looming overhead and it's horrible and cruel.
Dragonmama
So sorry to hear your situation it is a difficult journey to be in
You are overwhelmed and anxious, you are looking at this journey from every angle and everyone else's perspective
You cannot take everything on your own
Breathe, look at what you want, you had no idea what he was doing but you find yourself here on this journey
You cannot be responsible for his actions nor can you be responsible for how everyone else feels
Take a day at a time but please put yourself first xx
So sorry to hear your situation it is a difficult journey to be in
You are overwhelmed and anxious, you are looking at this journey from every angle and everyone else's perspective
You cannot take everything on your own
Breathe, look at what you want, you had no idea what he was doing but you find yourself here on this journey
You cannot be responsible for his actions nor can you be responsible for how everyone else feels
Take a day at a time but please put yourself first xx
Post deleted by user
Post deleted by user