Counselling
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Ok so this is going to be a strange one but i’ve always found your suppprt on here valuable so i’m going to just go ahead and write this anyway.
I have had 3 counselling sessions to date. Each of 90 minutes. I have another booked for this week. However at my last session the counsellor asked if I wanted to continue to see him. I said I was sure there are people who see him indefinitely to which he replied that ‘no, that would be unethical’. He explained that if people weren’t moving forward or making progress it was wrong of him to be taking their money’. He explained that he had to be helping and that it wasn’t just a chat - you could go on a forum for that. Anyway I booked another session anyway as it would be after the next court date. I reflected about whether I had made progress and felt that actually I had delved further back rather than forward or that i often went in circles.
So, my issue is that i actually feel from what he said a sort of pressure to be getting ‘cured’! I was quite positive when I saw him last time and am really not now. But I feel like i am wasting his time - he did not say this at all but I didn’t need him to say what he said and I don’t know how to approach it. Should I bother with this session? Should I go to it and tell me that what he said made me feel bad? I’m astonished that i’m supposed to be ‘better’ after three sessions.
What do you think? Have others had a specific type of counselling that has been more helpful?
Thanks, Rosa
I have had 3 counselling sessions to date. Each of 90 minutes. I have another booked for this week. However at my last session the counsellor asked if I wanted to continue to see him. I said I was sure there are people who see him indefinitely to which he replied that ‘no, that would be unethical’. He explained that if people weren’t moving forward or making progress it was wrong of him to be taking their money’. He explained that he had to be helping and that it wasn’t just a chat - you could go on a forum for that. Anyway I booked another session anyway as it would be after the next court date. I reflected about whether I had made progress and felt that actually I had delved further back rather than forward or that i often went in circles.
So, my issue is that i actually feel from what he said a sort of pressure to be getting ‘cured’! I was quite positive when I saw him last time and am really not now. But I feel like i am wasting his time - he did not say this at all but I didn’t need him to say what he said and I don’t know how to approach it. Should I bother with this session? Should I go to it and tell me that what he said made me feel bad? I’m astonished that i’m supposed to be ‘better’ after three sessions.
What do you think? Have others had a specific type of counselling that has been more helpful?
Thanks, Rosa
I think it depends who is supplying the sessions and what type of therapy. The idea of any therapy is that it is short term, that some progress is made and you do not become reliant on it. I doubt he meant to upset you or make you feel like you should be cured. With things like cbt they aim to provide you with the skills to deal with your thoughts and feelings as is meant to be fairly short term. Councelling is a way of talking through your problems and keeping things in perspective. I would go to the meeting and talk about your concerns, he may have not realised that he had caused you upset and may be able to explain it better. If you feel you still need councelling then you will be able to find one who can offer more sessions.
Hello Rosa,
I’m an integrative counsellor/psychotherapist and to me it feels that what your counsellor said is unrealistic, particularly given the reasons you’re seeing him. But as I don’t know more about him, I could be doing him a disservice. It would be good to know the kind of therapy he offers.
Cognitive behaviour therapy can be very effective quite quickly but given the trauma you’ve experienced, and continue to experience, I wouldn’t expect you to be ready to end therapy so quickly.
I believe the most important aspect of therapy is the relationship between the therapist and the client. You need to feel able to trust him and say whatever you want, including challenging him on things he says that don’t feel right to you.
Hope this is helpful.
J x
I’m an integrative counsellor/psychotherapist and to me it feels that what your counsellor said is unrealistic, particularly given the reasons you’re seeing him. But as I don’t know more about him, I could be doing him a disservice. It would be good to know the kind of therapy he offers.
Cognitive behaviour therapy can be very effective quite quickly but given the trauma you’ve experienced, and continue to experience, I wouldn’t expect you to be ready to end therapy so quickly.
I believe the most important aspect of therapy is the relationship between the therapist and the client. You need to feel able to trust him and say whatever you want, including challenging him on things he says that don’t feel right to you.
Hope this is helpful.
J x