Social services and shpo
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Hi guys . Wondering what experiences you have with these topics.
Were now past sentencing and feel eveen more in the dark than before.
Social; have phoned and phoned. Have also phones saying he is staying over on a certain date . This has got the case open again but still noone has contacted me in 3 weeks
Shpo ; they are just saying he can't basilcy do anything eveen though it's internet based . Solicitor is saying he can go to the park ect can stay over. What do we do ? I don't want to breach anything I'm so scared yet noone will answer us
Xx
Were now past sentencing and feel eveen more in the dark than before.
Social; have phoned and phoned. Have also phones saying he is staying over on a certain date . This has got the case open again but still noone has contacted me in 3 weeks
Shpo ; they are just saying he can't basilcy do anything eveen though it's internet based . Solicitor is saying he can go to the park ect can stay over. What do we do ? I don't want to breach anything I'm so scared yet noone will answer us
Xx
What are the specific conditions on his SHPO?
for example my oh has 4, can't delete internet history, has to hand phone over when asked, can't have a device which connects to the internet if it can't store a memory, has to hand over anything which can store photos eg, cameras and memory cards when asked.
if your oh has got nothing in writing on his ShPO that mentions contact with children then his visor and probation are overstepping, contacting unlock for guidance, speaking to them and their managers for clarity is the only way to sort them out.
SS is a while other ball game. We are currently escalated to court and having independent risk assessments of both of us. I'm no longer allowed to supervise and all contact has to be in the community. SS escalated us after sentencing (I think it's when they realised he had no conditions and I wasn't leaving him)
luckily for us his visor and probation are fully supportive of him and are helping us push back, and very vocal in how they disagree with ss.
what have you done to show you are aware of risk and can manage it?
any courses, reading, safety plan. You need to show you are proactive in this.
I completely get wanting your oh home and moving on, but telling them he is going to stay the night when probation and visor don't support it could cause more trouble.
for example my oh has 4, can't delete internet history, has to hand phone over when asked, can't have a device which connects to the internet if it can't store a memory, has to hand over anything which can store photos eg, cameras and memory cards when asked.
if your oh has got nothing in writing on his ShPO that mentions contact with children then his visor and probation are overstepping, contacting unlock for guidance, speaking to them and their managers for clarity is the only way to sort them out.
SS is a while other ball game. We are currently escalated to court and having independent risk assessments of both of us. I'm no longer allowed to supervise and all contact has to be in the community. SS escalated us after sentencing (I think it's when they realised he had no conditions and I wasn't leaving him)
luckily for us his visor and probation are fully supportive of him and are helping us push back, and very vocal in how they disagree with ss.
what have you done to show you are aware of risk and can manage it?
any courses, reading, safety plan. You need to show you are proactive in this.
I completely get wanting your oh home and moving on, but telling them he is going to stay the night when probation and visor don't support it could cause more trouble.
Hi xxx
I believe the staying overnight part needs to be notified at the police station as part of the SOR.
I can't believe SS have not been in touch, please ring the main office and ask to make a complaint. You don't want to be doing anything that's 'not allowed' but are you on a plan at all?
GZ, I'm assuming you were allowed to supervise pre sentencing, so unless some 'new evidence' came to light during sentencing why would you not be allowed to supervise post sentencing? It goes against airing on the side of caution until you know what you're dealing with!
Nothing makes sense in these scenarios x
I believe the staying overnight part needs to be notified at the police station as part of the SOR.
I can't believe SS have not been in touch, please ring the main office and ask to make a complaint. You don't want to be doing anything that's 'not allowed' but are you on a plan at all?
GZ, I'm assuming you were allowed to supervise pre sentencing, so unless some 'new evidence' came to light during sentencing why would you not be allowed to supervise post sentencing? It goes against airing on the side of caution until you know what you're dealing with!
Nothing makes sense in these scenarios x
My OH has been sentenced for over 9 months and I could supervise all that time. There has been no new evidence, apart from I'm fighting and pushing to get him home.
as a result of my fighting SS said I wasn't protective and didn't understand the risk. Their party line is 'he is a sex offender and always will be'. so they escalated us and agreed to fund an independent risk assessment. But restricted all access until they have the results.
as a result of my fighting SS said I wasn't protective and didn't understand the risk. Their party line is 'he is a sex offender and always will be'. so they escalated us and agreed to fund an independent risk assessment. But restricted all access until they have the results.
Ah GZ that's terrible. So pre sentencing they thought you were ok to supervise, post sentencing you're allegedly not ok, makes no sense!
could I ask how you are feeling post sentencing? I'm not as far down the line as you, but I feel worse now than pre. I want our relationship to work but I'm full of so many emotions that I don't know how to overcome.
Keep fighting x
could I ask how you are feeling post sentencing? I'm not as far down the line as you, but I feel worse now than pre. I want our relationship to work but I'm full of so many emotions that I don't know how to overcome.
Keep fighting x
GZ,
this is what I'm worried about. SS have been to see me, are happy with me and the safeguarding of the children. OH is stopping at his moms while we wait for forensics but SS have already said to me that if he is released with NFA where do I stand? As they'd not be happy with him being at the house. So basically saying I can't have him back or they'll be all over us again.... it's like blackmail.
this is what I'm worried about. SS have been to see me, are happy with me and the safeguarding of the children. OH is stopping at his moms while we wait for forensics but SS have already said to me that if he is released with NFA where do I stand? As they'd not be happy with him being at the house. So basically saying I can't have him back or they'll be all over us again.... it's like blackmail.
thank you for your replies. There 10 on there I think all internet based history ect then he must not approach a child under 16 he dose not know on public high way ect and must not stand about an educational settings h or entertainment place without reason .
The solicitor said these wouldn't be on his shpo but they didn't seem to do anything about it then said he can have them removed . Also said his 10 year shpo was to high and should be reduced to 5 .
But now solicitor says that he can't speak or anything for years .
Solicitor says he can stay over night and he can go to parks ect because hes not there with no reason he's not lingering he's taking his children out .
I just don't know we're to stand as in there over stepping but getting on the wrong side won't help. I feel like he's asked alot of things and they have said no but then if we didn't ask and we follow the shpo then we are in these places with a reason of that makes sence .
Social have been a nightmare . But then they closed the case because he wasn't living here (I was unaware untill I rang the main office and reception said they cudnt find us on the system) then I asked for the manger to call me back . He said it will reopen if he's coming home they will have to do an assessment. Never heard back so said he's coming on a certain date to get the ball rolling ( maybe that was wrong :/ I'd just heard a few ppl on this forum had said that to get social moving forward)
I think what's worse is when he signed the register the visor said he wants to support and help him be a good father and he can do all these things they just need to communicate togther ect so that was great . But then they said it's a different woman for were he's staying at the moment and she just says he can't go anywere can't go to a toy shop . Ect . But we're dose it end he can't take the dog a walk to a field there may be a child walking buy . He can't go to mcdolands because lots of kids go there .
I see communication story's with less restrictions. They see it as we want to go about in parks all day and run around having a laugh . I see it as it's been 16 months of hell . Depression anxiety suicidal thoughts . There dad being him his room for over a year living somwere else missing all these milestones. I don't want to do all these things I just don't want to be in a situation were were on a day out and she wants to go somwere and he has to stay behind for another 10 years .
I don't feel like there supporting or helping they want him to suffer everyday .
I'm not sure about everyone else but he's working full times has to do community service on day off then visor meeting probation ect there not a minate left in the day . It just seems all to much .
I have a safety plan , done alot of reading. Have done multiple safeguarding courses when I worked in childcare . But without a social worker to call me back or listen to be noone has came round or called . It just seems like each day it more bad news another issue other thing we can't do and were struggling alone xxx
The solicitor said these wouldn't be on his shpo but they didn't seem to do anything about it then said he can have them removed . Also said his 10 year shpo was to high and should be reduced to 5 .
But now solicitor says that he can't speak or anything for years .
Solicitor says he can stay over night and he can go to parks ect because hes not there with no reason he's not lingering he's taking his children out .
I just don't know we're to stand as in there over stepping but getting on the wrong side won't help. I feel like he's asked alot of things and they have said no but then if we didn't ask and we follow the shpo then we are in these places with a reason of that makes sence .
Social have been a nightmare . But then they closed the case because he wasn't living here (I was unaware untill I rang the main office and reception said they cudnt find us on the system) then I asked for the manger to call me back . He said it will reopen if he's coming home they will have to do an assessment. Never heard back so said he's coming on a certain date to get the ball rolling ( maybe that was wrong :/ I'd just heard a few ppl on this forum had said that to get social moving forward)
I think what's worse is when he signed the register the visor said he wants to support and help him be a good father and he can do all these things they just need to communicate togther ect so that was great . But then they said it's a different woman for were he's staying at the moment and she just says he can't go anywere can't go to a toy shop . Ect . But we're dose it end he can't take the dog a walk to a field there may be a child walking buy . He can't go to mcdolands because lots of kids go there .
I see communication story's with less restrictions. They see it as we want to go about in parks all day and run around having a laugh . I see it as it's been 16 months of hell . Depression anxiety suicidal thoughts . There dad being him his room for over a year living somwere else missing all these milestones. I don't want to do all these things I just don't want to be in a situation were were on a day out and she wants to go somwere and he has to stay behind for another 10 years .
I don't feel like there supporting or helping they want him to suffer everyday .
I'm not sure about everyone else but he's working full times has to do community service on day off then visor meeting probation ect there not a minate left in the day . It just seems all to much .
I have a safety plan , done alot of reading. Have done multiple safeguarding courses when I worked in childcare . But without a social worker to call me back or listen to be noone has came round or called . It just seems like each day it more bad news another issue other thing we can't do and were struggling alone xxx
He contacted unlock and they said he there have no rights to say all these extra things . He told his probation/visor and she had never heard of unlock xx
And also what sort of things can you have in a safety plan if your wanting unsupervised access ect ?
Xxx,
In your current situation with ss I probably wouldn't mention anything about unsupervised access just yet. Wait until you have more clarity on what he can and can't do in the community first. If ss want to do an independent risk assessment you could ask for one of the things that is assessed to be the risk posed to his own children and say that if it comes back low then you'd like to gradually work towards unsupervised by setting out steps like partner and children stay within earshot while you go to the toilet or make dinner and then build up the time maybe with him taking them for a walk for half an hour. I haven't done this as ss won't fund the assessment and we're years away from him moving in but when I discussed staggering things as we get closer to that time the sw said it seemed like a sensible thing to do xx
In your current situation with ss I probably wouldn't mention anything about unsupervised access just yet. Wait until you have more clarity on what he can and can't do in the community first. If ss want to do an independent risk assessment you could ask for one of the things that is assessed to be the risk posed to his own children and say that if it comes back low then you'd like to gradually work towards unsupervised by setting out steps like partner and children stay within earshot while you go to the toilet or make dinner and then build up the time maybe with him taking them for a walk for half an hour. I haven't done this as ss won't fund the assessment and we're years away from him moving in but when I discussed staggering things as we get closer to that time the sw said it seemed like a sensible thing to do xx
thank you for your reply . I'm annoyed at myself really I have left it this long thinking they were okay . Didn't know they closed the case because they said we are not having him back ect which was never the case . I feel like in these 16months we could have made progress and got to know them . They never reply to my calls or anything and have never had anything in writting . Noone wants to talk to us and noone cares they just want him to disappear. How can we be sure we're not breaking any rules when noone will tell us .
Its just all worse than I could of imagined and I'm not sure how much more I can take it's affecting me and my daughter but they won't care . Xxx
Its just all worse than I could of imagined and I'm not sure how much more I can take it's affecting me and my daughter but they won't care . Xxx
Do you have an email address for his offender manager? Could you or your partner send an email highlighting whatever points on his SHPO require an explanation? For example you could say point number (whatever it is) it says no going to places children are without a purpose, can I clarify that the purpose of taking our own children to these places is exempt and will not breach his order? Ask for a response via email so you have something to refer back to if they backtrack at any point xxx
He has asked them in person and they say it means he can't go to a park a shop ect a toy shop anywere were children will be ect . So anything we ask they say no and why would you want to . Last person was probation she said I can't talk to her it's nothing to do with me but the visor I'm yet to contact might call today and see is she has an email I can ask things . Social I'm waiting untill 9 to call but they will just tell me somone will be in contact . I feel like I've wasted my time meeting with the social worker to begin with pouring my heart out and she's not in the area now . Like starting from scratch . And I really don't want to keep going over this every day . I need to move on for my own health . Thank you for you reply xxx