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Is there really hope?

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Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Mon November 21, 2022 11:17amReport post

My husband had his plea hearing Thursday and now signed sor, the last few days I've been extremely depressed. Is there really hope of a normal life after this? I find myself questioning if I'm being selfish, wanting to keep my marriage (he's not a bad man, just turnt to alcohol and didn't realise what was happening). My poor children have suffered so much already and to hear ss are going to be back again would it be less selfish of me to leave him and give them a better chance at a normal life? I don't want people just showing up when they want on my doorstep, I don't want all the intrusive questions from ss again. Am I going to have to live the rest of my life like this?

Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Mon November 21, 2022 2:25pmReport post

Thank you Lost123. Ss signed us off and he was allowed home under supervision. My sw boss then said if the children wanted a day out with him and I deem it save then he can and I should use a common sense approach from now on. We had a lot going on we lost our home and things became really difficult for me, my mental health and the children was really suffering. We've always been a close family and the kids absolutely adore their dad. I just don't want to put them through any more suffering. My 6 year old is wetting the bed my 15 year old is now being checked for PTSD and my 14 year old has become so withdrawn. I love my husband and fully believe him that these images was downloaded when he used a legal app and he had no idea. As soon as he found them he deleted them all without looking at them as he dealt disgusted. He was an alcoholic then and very depressed. He pleaded guilty as was told to as it was a lighter sentence but I don't think he realised the inpact it will still have on our family life. I wish he fought his innocence but how can you prove your innocent?

The police made a terrible impact on my children, they're now petrified of them so I really am going to stress no police officer's are to be in uniform when they come to my home. It's my home and my kids safe place. So I think they should respect my wishes or meet him somewhere else.

Ss wasn't that great either, asking my kids do you think your dad done it and things they'd have no idea about. They didn't like the way she tried to be friend them to get them to tell them things. Now we've moved areas hopefully we will get some nicer ones, although I don't see why they'd need to talk to my children again as a risk assessment was already done and he was deemed low risk to our children.

What a complete mess up! No one tells you anything and expects you to know it all. I told my kids ss was done and wouldn't be back, as far as I know this was true. I'm just ready for this to all be behind us so we as a family can start to heal xx