My partner was filmed by vigilantes at the weekend and it went live on fb. Since then it's been viewed 13k and shared repeatedly. He was communicating with a minor via private messenger.
He doesn't know why he has done it.
Since then my world has turned upside down. Facebook has been a nightmare and the area we live in all know. Since Sat we have been living with family and too frightened to return to our home just to collect some belongings
My partner was arrested but was released 3 hours later. No charges, no bail and he won't have to go back till Feb.
I'm not condoning what he did and I'm in complete shock but I'm devastated that Facebook haven't helped get the videos down and the police are unable to do anything
Right now I feel I am losing the battle trying to get the videos and pictures removed. I have become obsessed checking constantly to see if another video has appeared. It's making me ill
I am worried friends will see it. I'm scared to go shopping together to the point we looking at travelling an hour away to go shopping.
I am still in shock as this has only happened a few days ago and everyone is telling me to leave him but I am really struggling to cope. I feel numb like it isn't real and I just don't know what to do.
We keep getting told give it a week or two and it be someone else they are interested in but that's not really any help
How is best to handle the hear and now? All these FB posts and getting our things from our property?
Also how can I survive this
Can anyone give some advice?
He doesn't know why he has done it.
Since then my world has turned upside down. Facebook has been a nightmare and the area we live in all know. Since Sat we have been living with family and too frightened to return to our home just to collect some belongings
My partner was arrested but was released 3 hours later. No charges, no bail and he won't have to go back till Feb.
I'm not condoning what he did and I'm in complete shock but I'm devastated that Facebook haven't helped get the videos down and the police are unable to do anything
Right now I feel I am losing the battle trying to get the videos and pictures removed. I have become obsessed checking constantly to see if another video has appeared. It's making me ill
I am worried friends will see it. I'm scared to go shopping together to the point we looking at travelling an hour away to go shopping.
I am still in shock as this has only happened a few days ago and everyone is telling me to leave him but I am really struggling to cope. I feel numb like it isn't real and I just don't know what to do.
We keep getting told give it a week or two and it be someone else they are interested in but that's not really any help
How is best to handle the hear and now? All these FB posts and getting our things from our property?
Also how can I survive this
Can anyone give some advice?
Hi cc2114
ive been trying to do the same thing since the end of October, the vigilante groups have zero consideration to the non offender, in this case you. I'm a few weeks in and have only just left my home, OH remanded so don't have to worry about anyone being attacked etc. though it doesn't help my neighbours have put a cctv camera directly on my home. I suggest if you do get any backlash report it to the police immediately. Go home get your stuff, do it in the middle of the night if it makes you feel better.
I honestly have not seen anything new on social media now for 2 weeks regarding my OH.
you can report the page of the group btw, but I think you have to like them first so you can see their content. Bare in mind you can also report them for breaching community standards
I was obsessive about watching the video and trying to understand it doesn't really do much good, but what does is talking to your OH and finding out what happened, it's then down to you to make informed choices based on whether or not you believe what he is telling you.
sending hugs because I know that you need them x
ive been trying to do the same thing since the end of October, the vigilante groups have zero consideration to the non offender, in this case you. I'm a few weeks in and have only just left my home, OH remanded so don't have to worry about anyone being attacked etc. though it doesn't help my neighbours have put a cctv camera directly on my home. I suggest if you do get any backlash report it to the police immediately. Go home get your stuff, do it in the middle of the night if it makes you feel better.
I honestly have not seen anything new on social media now for 2 weeks regarding my OH.
you can report the page of the group btw, but I think you have to like them first so you can see their content. Bare in mind you can also report them for breaching community standards
I was obsessive about watching the video and trying to understand it doesn't really do much good, but what does is talking to your OH and finding out what happened, it's then down to you to make informed choices based on whether or not you believe what he is telling you.
sending hugs because I know that you need them x
Post deleted by user
@dragonmama @smilethroughtears
I am still struggling. Tomorrow will be a week since it has happened.
My marriage was in a bad place before this happened but I never expected this.
My husband is with me at the moment because I want to keep him safe but it is too much. He has no where else to go and he can't go back to our home. He doesn't work or have any of his own money. My family are trying to support us both but it is unfair on them.
I feel like I can't escape. It's constantly there. He keeps saying sorry and things will improve but he keeps wanting to hug me and I can't cope with it.
He keeps saying how he feels when I try to explain that he has caused this situation and I was dragged into by no fault of my own. I don't think he realises how bad this is. He never had anything to do with the minor other than through messenger and I think he feels it was just words.
I'm so exhausted, lonely, numb and empty. I feel like ending things myself because I can't cope with this anymore. I'm tired of fighting with little support from him but I can't Hurt him no matter what he has done to me.
Has anyone else ever felt this way because right now I feel like I can't go on much longer
Cc xx
I am still struggling. Tomorrow will be a week since it has happened.
My marriage was in a bad place before this happened but I never expected this.
My husband is with me at the moment because I want to keep him safe but it is too much. He has no where else to go and he can't go back to our home. He doesn't work or have any of his own money. My family are trying to support us both but it is unfair on them.
I feel like I can't escape. It's constantly there. He keeps saying sorry and things will improve but he keeps wanting to hug me and I can't cope with it.
He keeps saying how he feels when I try to explain that he has caused this situation and I was dragged into by no fault of my own. I don't think he realises how bad this is. He never had anything to do with the minor other than through messenger and I think he feels it was just words.
I'm so exhausted, lonely, numb and empty. I feel like ending things myself because I can't cope with this anymore. I'm tired of fighting with little support from him but I can't Hurt him no matter what he has done to me.
Has anyone else ever felt this way because right now I feel like I can't go on much longer
Cc xx
Hello cc2114. My OH crime was online so had no live stream on fb. But i read your last comment and could not let it go without support.
you are so early in your journey and you are in shock. It is a difficult journey but one that you will survive. I am only 4 months after the knock but life is easier. You will get good days and bad days. But this forum has been my lifeline.
I hope you are ok. Sending love and hugs to you. X
you are so early in your journey and you are in shock. It is a difficult journey but one that you will survive. I am only 4 months after the knock but life is easier. You will get good days and bad days. But this forum has been my lifeline.
I hope you are ok. Sending love and hugs to you. X
CC2114
facebook have a direct Email you can contact for anything you think breaches community standards it's
abuse@fb.com
doesn't hurt to try and email them regarding the vigilance groups, I have done so today as I've only just found it.
facebook have a direct Email you can contact for anything you think breaches community standards it's
abuse@fb.com
doesn't hurt to try and email them regarding the vigilance groups, I have done so today as I've only just found it.
This happened to my person too a couple of years ago and we were desperate to get the video down. I hate to say it but it's unlikely to happen. Facebook don't care. The police, unbelievably, can't do anything and they seem to be ok working with these groups? I can't get my head around how it's allowed even a couple of years later.
They do move onto the next person. You're in shock and it will subside as time goes on; you weirdly get numb to it.
im so sorry this is happening. I thought these groups would have some sympathy for the offender's families but they couldn't care less.
They do move onto the next person. You're in shock and it will subside as time goes on; you weirdly get numb to it.
im so sorry this is happening. I thought these groups would have some sympathy for the offender's families but they couldn't care less.
hi ataloss,
im more concened in the future for my children who currently share the same name, I am getting their names changed but let's face it, it will still be on their birth certificates etc, I don't want them googling their name in years to come and getting bombarded with that information it's sickening.
no they really don't care at all, I've written to Facebook several times and all I get is it's not against community standards (I was honestly shocked by this) as for the hunters they now have their very own website too so it's even better......not. I did contact them to begin with and ask them why they felt the need to post it all over the place their response was so others can come forward, do they not think that if there were more than that would be discovered when the police search their phones?! Nope ok. They had no caring at all for my families (or others) safety bar saying call the police if anything happens.
im sick of it all, how did your case go with your person? Mine is on remand awaiting trial atm, talking to one decoy and lives are distroyed for the sake of a few likes and an ego boost. They are glory hunters not p hunters if they were true p hunters they would hand the information to the police not online.
I've got cpp for both my kids as has the other two (step kids who don't live with me). 4 children left without a dad because dad wanted to be an idiot and egotistical b******s who wanted likes.
im more concened in the future for my children who currently share the same name, I am getting their names changed but let's face it, it will still be on their birth certificates etc, I don't want them googling their name in years to come and getting bombarded with that information it's sickening.
no they really don't care at all, I've written to Facebook several times and all I get is it's not against community standards (I was honestly shocked by this) as for the hunters they now have their very own website too so it's even better......not. I did contact them to begin with and ask them why they felt the need to post it all over the place their response was so others can come forward, do they not think that if there were more than that would be discovered when the police search their phones?! Nope ok. They had no caring at all for my families (or others) safety bar saying call the police if anything happens.
im sick of it all, how did your case go with your person? Mine is on remand awaiting trial atm, talking to one decoy and lives are distroyed for the sake of a few likes and an ego boost. They are glory hunters not p hunters if they were true p hunters they would hand the information to the police not online.
I've got cpp for both my kids as has the other two (step kids who don't live with me). 4 children left without a dad because dad wanted to be an idiot and egotistical b******s who wanted likes.
Dragonmama.
My person isn't my spouse but he has his own children and I worry about the same thing for them too.
I'm always hopeful that the page will be taken down when they break too many rules and guidelines because that's what the tend to do. You hold onto wee things like that!
My person was sentenced to 18 mo and 10 yrs SOR. Very harsh sentence for the charge. We were stunned.
One thing I would say, these Hunter people turn up at every court appearance and reasurfaced the video and stuff again each time (it was postponed a good few times). My advice to you as a spouse is don't go to court and let them see you. I know that's hard advice to hear but I wish I had said to my person's wife because they ended up targeting her too. They're relentless and it's so frustrating having to see it go on and not be able to do anything about it.
They posted a video from the court steps and that's how I found out his sentence. I don't know how they can have so little feeling for the families of the person, we're innocent people.
Sending you all the strength and praying you get through this tough time. As humans we are so resilient.
My person isn't my spouse but he has his own children and I worry about the same thing for them too.
I'm always hopeful that the page will be taken down when they break too many rules and guidelines because that's what the tend to do. You hold onto wee things like that!
My person was sentenced to 18 mo and 10 yrs SOR. Very harsh sentence for the charge. We were stunned.
One thing I would say, these Hunter people turn up at every court appearance and reasurfaced the video and stuff again each time (it was postponed a good few times). My advice to you as a spouse is don't go to court and let them see you. I know that's hard advice to hear but I wish I had said to my person's wife because they ended up targeting her too. They're relentless and it's so frustrating having to see it go on and not be able to do anything about it.
They posted a video from the court steps and that's how I found out his sentence. I don't know how they can have so little feeling for the families of the person, we're innocent people.
Sending you all the strength and praying you get through this tough time. As humans we are so resilient.
Dear ataloss,
I have already decided that I wouldn't be going to court for that exact reason, though I did consider hiring my own security (I know a fair few) as a protection detail but then thought otherwise, due to it more than likely that I would cause trouble not them.
im sick of hunters and facebooks allowing this type of thing. I hope that any children and partner you know of don't go through the same hell I am. Although I've made it very clear that I am not in a relationship with him (still undecided if honest, but thats international conflict) they still felt the need to put my kids in cpp, up for first review soon and I'm actually looking forward to it as I get to tell them of all the things they got wrong and haven't been done.
I do think of revenue quite often but probably wouldn't do me any good. Doesn't mean that I can't point out that whilst they are judgemental of me they are failing terribly in their duties of care and safeguarding.
I have already decided that I wouldn't be going to court for that exact reason, though I did consider hiring my own security (I know a fair few) as a protection detail but then thought otherwise, due to it more than likely that I would cause trouble not them.
im sick of hunters and facebooks allowing this type of thing. I hope that any children and partner you know of don't go through the same hell I am. Although I've made it very clear that I am not in a relationship with him (still undecided if honest, but thats international conflict) they still felt the need to put my kids in cpp, up for first review soon and I'm actually looking forward to it as I get to tell them of all the things they got wrong and haven't been done.
I do think of revenue quite often but probably wouldn't do me any good. Doesn't mean that I can't point out that whilst they are judgemental of me they are failing terribly in their duties of care and safeguarding.
Hi,
I was in the same boat Drove myself insane searching on Facebook and Google looking at comments and new uploads. Facebook is a neverending thing. Managed to get a few down but then they get uploaded in another way, it seems to be a game. It seems if you leave it they get bored and move on, if they get deleted they just upload more. Reporting them doesn't hurt though and groups have been shut down.
1 thing my person did was via Google, there's a way to get the url deleted. Right to be forgotten i think its called. You can do it yourself. He did it on every searchable link that came up. Just means nothing comes up with Google which oddly relieves a lot of anxiety. I was also worried about my child searching and finding things when they grow up and also others googling in the years to come.
I have no words to make it better, it is a horrible experience and I still cannot get my head around it. The impact is huge. My best advice, delete Facebook, its toxic. Have a look at Google and take care of yourself as much as you can. There is light on the other side it will get a bit more bareable and then it does get easier x
I was in the same boat Drove myself insane searching on Facebook and Google looking at comments and new uploads. Facebook is a neverending thing. Managed to get a few down but then they get uploaded in another way, it seems to be a game. It seems if you leave it they get bored and move on, if they get deleted they just upload more. Reporting them doesn't hurt though and groups have been shut down.
1 thing my person did was via Google, there's a way to get the url deleted. Right to be forgotten i think its called. You can do it yourself. He did it on every searchable link that came up. Just means nothing comes up with Google which oddly relieves a lot of anxiety. I was also worried about my child searching and finding things when they grow up and also others googling in the years to come.
I have no words to make it better, it is a horrible experience and I still cannot get my head around it. The impact is huge. My best advice, delete Facebook, its toxic. Have a look at Google and take care of yourself as much as you can. There is light on the other side it will get a bit more bareable and then it does get easier x
Hi Ttyh
I'm interested in right to be forgotten.
I didn't think Google would do this if the news was still relevant? How long after the articles did you do this please?
Thanks in advance.
I'm interested in right to be forgotten.
I didn't think Google would do this if the news was still relevant? How long after the articles did you do this please?
Thanks in advance.
Hi Sal
Nothing was ever published in articles/newspaper for my person So not sure if/how that will differ.
But when you searched their name, links with pics/videos/info on Facebook and other sites came up. They submitted each url code and within a short period of time bits came down. Can't remember the exact time frame but it was no more than a few weeks from what I remember. Legal help was too expensive after 1st consultation and no guarantee, but they told him he could do it himself and he followed a step by step guide in google (comes up when you google it)
Sorry I'm not much more help we're not together anymore but was still a relief for myself and concerns I had/have about my child and safety
Nothing was ever published in articles/newspaper for my person So not sure if/how that will differ.
But when you searched their name, links with pics/videos/info on Facebook and other sites came up. They submitted each url code and within a short period of time bits came down. Can't remember the exact time frame but it was no more than a few weeks from what I remember. Legal help was too expensive after 1st consultation and no guarantee, but they told him he could do it himself and he followed a step by step guide in google (comes up when you google it)
Sorry I'm not much more help we're not together anymore but was still a relief for myself and concerns I had/have about my child and safety
Hi All,
It has been 14 months on since a vigilante group turned up at my front door and my whole world changed.
I have stayed and trying to support my OH. Most friends have been amazing and really supportive as they know my OH and this behaviour isn't like him. I don't condone what he did (messaging randoms on fb-and he did message what he thought was a teenage girl). I do believe that all this stems from lock down. Before then he was tea total and once lockdown hit, he had two breakdowns and became a alcoholic.
The police have still not done anything further regarding a 3 hr arrest when it first happened and him being released on bail. It is me and my OH chasing them to find out what is happening. Until we know it feels like we are living in limbo.
I couldn't get much help with the police taking the posts down on fb till our solicitors got involved. There are now (for what I can see) the original video up only. Fb did nothing to help when I requested to get it removed. The group also posted the video on You Tube and thankfully You Tube took it down within a day of me requesting it be removed. In retaliation, the group reposted the video on FB.
For what I have been told, my OH didn't ask to meet anyone so the group set up a decoy of a profile of an older women to get our home address from him which he stupidly gave them.
I have been hurt and humiliated by him, lost my home and some friends (though I guess if they were real friends they would have supported me). You really do find out who your real friends are when you go through something like this.
I took control of the situation and told our close friends what happened as someone had messaged everyone in my husband's friend list online. I was honest and told them everything I know and that I don't condone what he did but I don't believe he is a child abuser.
Life isn't easy and I am always looking over my shoulder. People think I must have known something. Who in there right mind would allow this to happen if they knew!
We are slowly trying to move forward. He has now got help for his drinking and trying to get some sort of life back together.
The issue I am having now is I am doing ok for a while and then it hits me again in waves.
I am angry at my OH but I'm angry at this group. They made him to be out this monster and humiliated him on social media and all for him to be released on bail 3 hours later. I just don't understand how they are allowed to get away with destroying people's lives like this.
I suppose I want to know, if you have been in a similar situation and stayed with your OH and does it get easier?
It has been 14 months on since a vigilante group turned up at my front door and my whole world changed.
I have stayed and trying to support my OH. Most friends have been amazing and really supportive as they know my OH and this behaviour isn't like him. I don't condone what he did (messaging randoms on fb-and he did message what he thought was a teenage girl). I do believe that all this stems from lock down. Before then he was tea total and once lockdown hit, he had two breakdowns and became a alcoholic.
The police have still not done anything further regarding a 3 hr arrest when it first happened and him being released on bail. It is me and my OH chasing them to find out what is happening. Until we know it feels like we are living in limbo.
I couldn't get much help with the police taking the posts down on fb till our solicitors got involved. There are now (for what I can see) the original video up only. Fb did nothing to help when I requested to get it removed. The group also posted the video on You Tube and thankfully You Tube took it down within a day of me requesting it be removed. In retaliation, the group reposted the video on FB.
For what I have been told, my OH didn't ask to meet anyone so the group set up a decoy of a profile of an older women to get our home address from him which he stupidly gave them.
I have been hurt and humiliated by him, lost my home and some friends (though I guess if they were real friends they would have supported me). You really do find out who your real friends are when you go through something like this.
I took control of the situation and told our close friends what happened as someone had messaged everyone in my husband's friend list online. I was honest and told them everything I know and that I don't condone what he did but I don't believe he is a child abuser.
Life isn't easy and I am always looking over my shoulder. People think I must have known something. Who in there right mind would allow this to happen if they knew!
We are slowly trying to move forward. He has now got help for his drinking and trying to get some sort of life back together.
The issue I am having now is I am doing ok for a while and then it hits me again in waves.
I am angry at my OH but I'm angry at this group. They made him to be out this monster and humiliated him on social media and all for him to be released on bail 3 hours later. I just don't understand how they are allowed to get away with destroying people's lives like this.
I suppose I want to know, if you have been in a similar situation and stayed with your OH and does it get easier?
similar happened with Facebook but different situation , people are freely allowed to instigate spread malicious lies and we as family members cannot defend or your painted to be a lover of the crime its ridiculous innocent family brought down humiliated spoken about in such a bad way and from people we have known all of pur lives and the more lies people spread on social media accounts the more readers engage in the nonsense that wasn't even reported with consideration for family that done nothing and left so much out people think newspapers are 100% giving all the correct information they are manuplat8ng the public to get clicks and they don't care for the families its terrible they disclose the information they want that feeds the mouths of the public most will not question u as they think your lying anyway but in these situations social media is an absolute nightmare and make everything a million times worse
I stayed with my OH and we've just passed the 4th anniversary of the knock, 2.5 years since sentencing and media exposure. We lost acquaintances as I prefer to say as true friends who know OH have stayed in touch and understand how it happened. Some family members have cut off contact too.
Some neighbours tend to ignore us, we had loads of mither with one set but I stood my ground and got the police and solicitors involved.
We are through the worst but it's always there at the back of my mind and I don't think it will ever truly go away. Whether that will change once the SHPO has been discharged time will tell.
It's positive that there has been more coverage of the partners/parents views in the media recently. Plus forums like this one and the worldoftheknock podcasts and website are invaluable for support whichever stage of the journey you're on.
Some neighbours tend to ignore us, we had loads of mither with one set but I stood my ground and got the police and solicitors involved.
We are through the worst but it's always there at the back of my mind and I don't think it will ever truly go away. Whether that will change once the SHPO has been discharged time will tell.
It's positive that there has been more coverage of the partners/parents views in the media recently. Plus forums like this one and the worldoftheknock podcasts and website are invaluable for support whichever stage of the journey you're on.
New to posting but not new to the site. Almost three years in from the vigilante sting on FB and emphasise with everything you have all said. Shocked too at how FB don't see the vigilante films as a violation of their policies! Myself and my children have carried the repercussions for years....just when life feels 'normal' a curveball hits.
I'm beginning to think Resilience is my middle name! Just knowing that I am not alone and that others here understand has kept my head above water numerous times. It really is a journey.
Love to you all, we WILL get through this X
I'm beginning to think Resilience is my middle name! Just knowing that I am not alone and that others here understand has kept my head above water numerous times. It really is a journey.
Love to you all, we WILL get through this X