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Adult children of offenders

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Estranged

Member since
April 2021

2 posts

Posted Thu November 24, 2022 2:40amReport post

Wondering if there are any other children of offenders here?

My Dad was arrested over 20 years ago. Mum stood by him, we got through it and life carried on.

I've been non-contact with my Dad, and low-contact with Mum, for three years now. I found a collection of images Dad had stored online, using his real name. 'Addicted to taking risks online', according to him.

I can't deal with this stuff anymore, and made my decision. But it is a difficult, sad, angry struggle.

Anyone in the same boat?

Edited Thu November 24, 2022 2:48pm

Lucy from Stop it Now!

Member since
September 2018

482 posts

Posted Tue December 6, 2022 9:47amReport post

Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends forum, we understand that it is not easy to post on a forum about these difficult situations. I can see that you have not yet had a reply on your post, hopefully someone else in a similar situation can reply soon with some support.

We understand that your situation is hard, so it is really important to look after yourself now as best as you can by taking time to engage with simple self-care such as going for a walk or engaging with a hobby. If you haven't already done so, I would also encourage you to contact our Stop it Now! helpline for some support and advice. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free, on 0808 1000 900. One of our trained advisors will then be able to explore your situation in detail and provide some support. Our trained advisors deal with similar concerns to yours every day, and will be able to talk these through with you and offer you the best advice we can.

I hope this has been helpful.

Take care,

Lucy

Edited Tue December 6, 2022 9:48am

Janey3

Member since
December 2022

17 posts

Posted Tue December 6, 2022 1:12pmReport post

I'm at the very beginning of this, my father was arrested last Sunday. I and my siblings are all adults with children ourselves.

Estranged

Member since
April 2021

2 posts

Posted Thu December 15, 2022 10:15pmReport post

Sorry to hear this, Janey. It is so hard.

Are you supporting your father?

I did at 18, but am not now as I have my own children, and he seems to have a lifelong interest in taking risks online.

I struggle with this decision, but I can't see another way that doesn't cause me huge anxiety.

Janey3

Member since
December 2022

17 posts

Posted Fri December 16, 2022 10:20pmReport post

At the moment we are supporting our Dad, we don't see any other way forward I guess. We have no idea what he's looked at, category wise ad he's said he has downloaded from the dark web but hasn't looked. I dont believe that. But he is making threats to his life. He's a broken man.

My mum is completely traumatised, they've been together over 40 years and he's been the perfect husband and father.

Sorry to ramble!