Leaving OH
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It's been quite a few months since OH got sentanced (suspended) However I'm still struggling with the offence etc and the way it's impacted our relationshp and lives.
For context we have a little one. *edited to take out identifying details.
Is there anyone that's chosen to leave & regetted it? I am so torn as at the momemt he lives at home with us. I wouldn't be happy with unsupervised contact with LO being so young.
We would lose the house as OH refuses to leave as we cannot afford two mortgages. And he has debts I work part time so would more than likely end up in council accommodation.
We are having relationship counselling but I still struggle so much. Just wondering if anyone has regretted their decision to leave ?
TIA
For context we have a little one. *edited to take out identifying details.
Is there anyone that's chosen to leave & regetted it? I am so torn as at the momemt he lives at home with us. I wouldn't be happy with unsupervised contact with LO being so young.
We would lose the house as OH refuses to leave as we cannot afford two mortgages. And he has debts I work part time so would more than likely end up in council accommodation.
We are having relationship counselling but I still struggle so much. Just wondering if anyone has regretted their decision to leave ?
TIA
Hi,
I ended our relationship on the day of the knock. I was 3 months pregnant and my LO is now 21 months old. Sentencing was the week she was born so not dissimilar to yours situation. I'm not sure I'd use the word regret but we are trying to rebuild our relationship. Financially things are hard but I'm lucky that we didn't have a house together (I was the named person on the rent).
Would a temporary separation be an option you could explore? I say this because having my own space has been good for those days when I'm angry and emotional but it's also given me some clarity on the fact that he is my person and I want to give things another go.
Whatever decisions you make you have to make sure they're right for you at the moment. You don't have to know how things will work out long term, that's something I have struggled with xxx
I ended our relationship on the day of the knock. I was 3 months pregnant and my LO is now 21 months old. Sentencing was the week she was born so not dissimilar to yours situation. I'm not sure I'd use the word regret but we are trying to rebuild our relationship. Financially things are hard but I'm lucky that we didn't have a house together (I was the named person on the rent).
Would a temporary separation be an option you could explore? I say this because having my own space has been good for those days when I'm angry and emotional but it's also given me some clarity on the fact that he is my person and I want to give things another go.
Whatever decisions you make you have to make sure they're right for you at the moment. You don't have to know how things will work out long term, that's something I have struggled with xxx
He can't even afford to rent somewhere else so a temporary separation isn't possible.
His parents won't have him living back there (they are elderly) and we have no friends that will take him in so we're stuck, :/
I did initially kick him out after the knock however he moved back in a few months later.
I have no family tp move in with.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place x
His parents won't have him living back there (they are elderly) and we have no friends that will take him in so we're stuck, :/
I did initially kick him out after the knock however he moved back in a few months later.
I have no family tp move in with.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place x
I understand Bluebell77. I cannot kick my OH out. No family and his friends left him. He owns half our house so really cannot kick him out and if i did he literally would have nowhere to go. I would like to have space to have time to think. Our case was done and dusted in three weeks, which have caused problems as he did not challenge anything as he was not right and still in shock. We are 4 months post sentencing. I really do not know what I want. Cannot afford two houses. I also feel stuck and very trapped.
He lost his job so it is all on me to sort out finances and i would lose my home and savings if we separated. Feeling like i am staying for the wrong reasons. We are civil to each other but after 30 years of marriage feel like i live with a stranger.
sorry not to be much help, but you are not alpne.
He lost his job so it is all on me to sort out finances and i would lose my home and savings if we separated. Feeling like i am staying for the wrong reasons. We are civil to each other but after 30 years of marriage feel like i live with a stranger.
sorry not to be much help, but you are not alpne.
Sorry to hijack this thread slightly but how we're you able to negotiate your person being allowed to remain in the family home with children?
I was pretty much told that wasn't possible and partner hasn't been living with me and baby (overnights are so hard!) despite our case being NFA it looks as though they still don't want him living with us and look down on me for even entertaining the idea.
I too have debated ending the relationship but I don't want to have to co parent, it's tough, I've witnessed it first hand with my partner and his ex. I also don't want to lose my home, which is my safe space.
Our relationship was good and we were excitedly preparing for our baby before my world imploded, I have to remind myself of that sometimes. My partner has his issues and a very secret porn addiction, but on the whole our life before this was good and I was happy.
I was pretty much told that wasn't possible and partner hasn't been living with me and baby (overnights are so hard!) despite our case being NFA it looks as though they still don't want him living with us and look down on me for even entertaining the idea.
I too have debated ending the relationship but I don't want to have to co parent, it's tough, I've witnessed it first hand with my partner and his ex. I also don't want to lose my home, which is my safe space.
Our relationship was good and we were excitedly preparing for our baby before my world imploded, I have to remind myself of that sometimes. My partner has his issues and a very secret porn addiction, but on the whole our life before this was good and I was happy.
Webb 89 it's so hard isn't it :( none of this is easy is it :(
Pregnant & overwhelmed. My person had one very short period of offending over 2 days. I'd done a safety plan prior to SS coming out and safeguarding courses which I think helped keep him at home. He was honest and upfront with SS when they did their assesmemts. I supervise all contact with LO.
I also have motion activated CCTV in his bedroom for when we are asleep.
Honestly I think it is dependant on which social worker you get.
Have you tried getting an independent risk assessment done ? They are available however they are quite expensive. Around £1.5K
Pregnant & overwhelmed. My person had one very short period of offending over 2 days. I'd done a safety plan prior to SS coming out and safeguarding courses which I think helped keep him at home. He was honest and upfront with SS when they did their assesmemts. I supervise all contact with LO.
I also have motion activated CCTV in his bedroom for when we are asleep.
Honestly I think it is dependant on which social worker you get.
Have you tried getting an independent risk assessment done ? They are available however they are quite expensive. Around £1.5K