Family and Friends Forum

Hello Lost, I hear you. The adjustment is so hard. But well done on going out with your friends. I do not go out much. I have been married for over 30 years and even though at the moment i am still with my OH i feel so lonely as i do not want to be seen with him as i am scared he will be recognised. All of our joint friends and my family will have nothing to do with him. So any social events i am on my own with people who dont know asking me where he is! So i have had to say we are separated, but then they want details so it never ends. Everyone wants the 'gossip'. I cannot believe how this crime affects the innocent members of the family.



you are not alone. X

It's really is horrible, you feel like your on guard and have to protect yourself 24/7.

I always feel uneasy when conversation turns to family - I'm ok with the people that know what's happened to us. They have accepted my story only goes so far, the rest is personal. It's hard as I was always bursting with pride about my family til this crime struck.



Also I hate disclosing and having to sign anything, in case my surname is googled. I usually rapidly scribble it down.... like you ladies, I can get very angry with this added pressure in my life, I've done absolutely nothing to deserve this :-(

I know just how you feel, it doesn't make sense when the people who commit these acts first off are willing to throw away everything they had be it good or bad (what I've seen on here mostly good)

don't understand why the innocent families who are associated with them are persecuted regardless of if they stay with them or not.

The innocent families are then left to just picknup the pieces with hardly any support from anyone unless they find it for themselves.

If children are part of the family ss breathing down their necks.



it's all unfair for the parents/partners/children

all I can do is send hugs

I know what you mean LostEverything. Sometimes I can nearly taste the bitterness and anger at my husband. I know I shouldnt be angry at the police, the judge, the prison we visit every weekend or social services. They're only doing their job and thinking of the poor children online. I know they feel by giving my husband a long custodial sentence that will help end iioc, not a community payback order with rehabilitation. I understand social services point of view of protecting our baby now by not allowing my husband to see his child. I'm so angry at everyone these days but my husband chose to break the law. It all comes back to him and its hard not to feel huge resentment towards him. And I'm speaking as someone who supports their partner because he's shown so much remorse and working on himself since the arrest. But I'm still livid inside a year later and it's not getting easier with counselling.