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How to get through Christmas

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Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

634 posts

Posted Tue November 29, 2022 5:00pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed January 4, 2023 7:41pm

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Tue November 29, 2022 6:01pmReport post

Hey hope your ok. I would just be honest and tell him it's how I've been the last 18 months best to be honest. Could you not have a day with your children/grandchildren without him

Bitterbean

Member since
December 2021

634 posts

Posted Tue November 29, 2022 6:21pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Wed January 4, 2023 7:42pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Tue November 29, 2022 7:37pmReport post

Bitterbean

Only you can decide on what to do next

You are in turmoil, and you're feelings are normal

The person who needs to be first is you

What we want and what we need are miles apart

You are in the middle trying to please everyone

This journey is horrendous but you will get through it

We didn't ask for this, but yet we are here

Not much advise but just wanted to send hugs xx

scaredandconfused

Member since
June 2021

437 posts

Posted Tue November 29, 2022 7:50pmReport post

I agree with upset you must come first easier said than done because I have done the same as you and stayed but I new from the start that I was choosing that option. Maybe sit and think about what you want then have a chat with him you need to do what's best for you x

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Tue November 29, 2022 9:15pmReport post

As others have said, it really is only you that can make that decision. There are lots of different angles to your situation and I wonder how you feel about them all independently?

I know it's very hard to seperate one from another but I wonder if you could come to peace with how you feel about some of them it would help shed light on how you feel about the others and then as a whole.

It is also possible to support your person without being a couple, you don't have to turn your back on him completely.

In any relationship, even outside of this crime, there are many reasons to stay and many reasons to leave - Neither are right or wrong, we are only here once and its important to do what's right for you.

Staying or leaving isn't easy, both will impact your future life.

Losteverything

Member since
September 2022

216 posts

Posted Wed November 30, 2022 11:24pmReport post

Bitterbean, you only get one life and you have to follow the path which is right for you. You have to decide how you want the rest of your life to be. I understand it is hard to give up the life you know and the future you had, I feel the same but I also feel that my life before was actually a lie.

I have chosen not to stay. My choice. My Christmas will be spent with my 2 adult children and their partners and my grand child.
My ex will be alone . Yes I feel sad for him but this is all his fault and I am choosing how I want my life to be.