Is it okay to leave?
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My bf had the knock 6 months ago when we were living together and I realised he had been lieing the whole time when I thought we had a 'perfect' relationship. The affect on my mental health has been awful but I also feel protective over him and still believe that he is a good person at heart.
We had a few weeks apart recently and I felt a lot less anxious. I don't think I will ever see our relationship the same and be able to trust him, but it was so good that I can't end it, and I don't want to add to his unhappiness and stress over the situation.
I don't know if I want to work through this with him, I'm scared of the judgement and the pain we will both face. What he's done is so upsetting to me but he's trying his best to get help now and I'm the only person that he is close to and open with. What am I supposed to do? I feel like I'm 'pretending' when we're together. Will it get better or should I move on with my life and focus on myself now, before we get a verdict with the case?
We had a few weeks apart recently and I felt a lot less anxious. I don't think I will ever see our relationship the same and be able to trust him, but it was so good that I can't end it, and I don't want to add to his unhappiness and stress over the situation.
I don't know if I want to work through this with him, I'm scared of the judgement and the pain we will both face. What he's done is so upsetting to me but he's trying his best to get help now and I'm the only person that he is close to and open with. What am I supposed to do? I feel like I'm 'pretending' when we're together. Will it get better or should I move on with my life and focus on myself now, before we get a verdict with the case?
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You need to do what is right for you. I've been through the same thoughts with my husband who I'd been with for 19 yers.
i am ending our relationship. He is an adult and responsible for himself. And I have to keep reminding myself of that. He has caused all this pain and upset in our lives. He didn't think about me and our kids who he was chatting online with random women for 2 years. I do believe he is a good person and isn't a risk to anyone, but my respect for him has gone and I don't think that'll come back. I do feel sad for him as we are his only support but I can't live a lie for him.
Have you thought about counseling to help sort through your thoughts? A couple of sessions talking to someone impartial could help you work out how you feel. Or I sometimes find writing everything down helps.
i am ending our relationship. He is an adult and responsible for himself. And I have to keep reminding myself of that. He has caused all this pain and upset in our lives. He didn't think about me and our kids who he was chatting online with random women for 2 years. I do believe he is a good person and isn't a risk to anyone, but my respect for him has gone and I don't think that'll come back. I do feel sad for him as we are his only support but I can't live a lie for him.
Have you thought about counseling to help sort through your thoughts? A couple of sessions talking to someone impartial could help you work out how you feel. Or I sometimes find writing everything down helps.
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Hi Sunflower
so sorry to hear that you have found yoursel here . Although our Circumstances are different ( my son who offended) , deciding whether to stay with your boyfriend or leave is your choice and your choice alone. What ever you chose today is neither right or wrong, you will be supported on here by all of us who will not judge you.
yes, you have to take care of yourself and do nice things for you. Although you will carry some of the stress and anxieties that this situation brings, its not your fault and you haven't done anything wrong. Your BF is fortunate to have you for support.
my son is a nice, intelligent individual but he's done a bad thing, Its the same for your BF and so many others They chose the wrong path at that junction that led them and us on this difficult journey . I am glad he is seeking help to deal with his behaviour and if he recognises his wrong doings and seeks help from LFF hes on the right track and taking responsibility and accountability for his actions which is most important to help him and the victims of CA .
take care sunflower . Maij xv
so sorry to hear that you have found yoursel here . Although our Circumstances are different ( my son who offended) , deciding whether to stay with your boyfriend or leave is your choice and your choice alone. What ever you chose today is neither right or wrong, you will be supported on here by all of us who will not judge you.
yes, you have to take care of yourself and do nice things for you. Although you will carry some of the stress and anxieties that this situation brings, its not your fault and you haven't done anything wrong. Your BF is fortunate to have you for support.
my son is a nice, intelligent individual but he's done a bad thing, Its the same for your BF and so many others They chose the wrong path at that junction that led them and us on this difficult journey . I am glad he is seeking help to deal with his behaviour and if he recognises his wrong doings and seeks help from LFF hes on the right track and taking responsibility and accountability for his actions which is most important to help him and the victims of CA .
take care sunflower . Maij xv
sunflower
As all the other lovely ladies have said there is no right or wrong in what you choose to do, this has to be what is best for you alone
Of course it is going to be difficult if you want to walk away but we have one life and this journey makes it even harder
What will happen to him if you did leave this is not your burden to carry
You have done nothing wrong wise words to remember
We are here for you sending hugs xx
As all the other lovely ladies have said there is no right or wrong in what you choose to do, this has to be what is best for you alone
Of course it is going to be difficult if you want to walk away but we have one life and this journey makes it even harder
What will happen to him if you did leave this is not your burden to carry
You have done nothing wrong wise words to remember
We are here for you sending hugs xx
Hi,
It is 100% ok to leave. It's not something that you need anyone else's approval for, the same as if you decided to stay. I left and we are now trying to rebuild our relationship but will remain separated for at least the next few years as my older children do not currently want him in their lives and they will have a home with me until they decide that it's the right time for them to leave. This journey is incredibly personal and in some cases (mine included) incredibly public.
If you are happier and less anxious when you're not together then separating may be right for you at the moment. This may or may not change over time but we do only get one shot at life so be true to yourself and this will guide you through xxx
It is 100% ok to leave. It's not something that you need anyone else's approval for, the same as if you decided to stay. I left and we are now trying to rebuild our relationship but will remain separated for at least the next few years as my older children do not currently want him in their lives and they will have a home with me until they decide that it's the right time for them to leave. This journey is incredibly personal and in some cases (mine included) incredibly public.
If you are happier and less anxious when you're not together then separating may be right for you at the moment. This may or may not change over time but we do only get one shot at life so be true to yourself and this will guide you through xxx