My first ever post. Son sentenced three days ago after a terrible terrible couple of years of worry,stress and every emotion that goes with it. Can anyone advise what the process is from here. We don't know where he is, how he is, where he's going to be and obviously we are just desperate to speak and see him. When do we get to hear from him, is it easy to arrange visits, how often can we visit, and so many more questions. We are totally devestated about everything that has happened, the tears flow on a regular basis and our lives have been shattered. Someone, somewhere, please give us some positive news that we can work on. Thank you.
Heartbroken
Heartbroken
Hi Johnny,
Hopefully someone with more knowledge about finding out how and where your son is will respond shortly. You'll need his prisoner number to set up things like email a prisoner, be able to write to him and add funds to his account.
Try to eat and sleep when you can. Allow the tears, they're a normal response. Sending love to you all xxx
Hopefully someone with more knowledge about finding out how and where your son is will respond shortly. You'll need his prisoner number to set up things like email a prisoner, be able to write to him and add funds to his account.
Try to eat and sleep when you can. Allow the tears, they're a normal response. Sending love to you all xxx
Hi so sorry you're going through this aswel. Its a shock at the beginning.
The positive news first is prison is nothing like what you see on TV. And the guards want to keep the inmates safe and well. There are certain prisoners nominated to help new prisoners adjust to the routine and they wear a different coloured top, like a friend who can answer questions for new inmates and put them at ease. Aparently the food is better than hospitals and there are gyms and educational classes on offer, which include exams and certificates.
If you need to check which prison he is in you can contact his solicitor. Or phone the court house he was sentenced in on Monday morning. Your son should get one free call from prison to tell loved ones where he is and that he's doing ok. Prisons encourage inmates to keep in touch with family and friends.
First advice is when you speak to your son ask him what his prisoner number is, really important. Write it down as you'll need this everytime to write him letters or emails. If he doesn't know it you could phone the prison desk and ask them.
When you have his prisoner number then write him a letter asap (put his prisoner number next to his name on the envelope). In this letter write down all important phone numbers for him such as your mobile number, solicitors number, if he was seeing a counsellor you could include their number etc. Any person who knows about the custodial that he may want to keep in contact with during his custodial. He then hands these numbers to a prison guard to be put on his approved contact list. This can take a few days/a week to be approved.
You could phone the prison and explain this is all new to you and you'd like to arrange the first visit. In our situation the lady on the desk obliged the first time but told us after that it's up to the prisoners to arrange visits themselves. (Visits are usually one a week and last for an hour, get their early to go through security etc)
You'll have to check the prisons website regarding their policy on visits, handing in clothes, putting money in the prisoners account etc
There's a service offered by many prisons called "Email a prisoner". It's much quicker and cheaper than posting letters..again to set this up you'll need his prisoner number
The positive news first is prison is nothing like what you see on TV. And the guards want to keep the inmates safe and well. There are certain prisoners nominated to help new prisoners adjust to the routine and they wear a different coloured top, like a friend who can answer questions for new inmates and put them at ease. Aparently the food is better than hospitals and there are gyms and educational classes on offer, which include exams and certificates.
If you need to check which prison he is in you can contact his solicitor. Or phone the court house he was sentenced in on Monday morning. Your son should get one free call from prison to tell loved ones where he is and that he's doing ok. Prisons encourage inmates to keep in touch with family and friends.
First advice is when you speak to your son ask him what his prisoner number is, really important. Write it down as you'll need this everytime to write him letters or emails. If he doesn't know it you could phone the prison desk and ask them.
When you have his prisoner number then write him a letter asap (put his prisoner number next to his name on the envelope). In this letter write down all important phone numbers for him such as your mobile number, solicitors number, if he was seeing a counsellor you could include their number etc. Any person who knows about the custodial that he may want to keep in contact with during his custodial. He then hands these numbers to a prison guard to be put on his approved contact list. This can take a few days/a week to be approved.
You could phone the prison and explain this is all new to you and you'd like to arrange the first visit. In our situation the lady on the desk obliged the first time but told us after that it's up to the prisoners to arrange visits themselves. (Visits are usually one a week and last for an hour, get their early to go through security etc)
You'll have to check the prisons website regarding their policy on visits, handing in clothes, putting money in the prisoners account etc
There's a service offered by many prisons called "Email a prisoner". It's much quicker and cheaper than posting letters..again to set this up you'll need his prisoner number
Thank you for your reply. He was given a custodial sentence three days ago, and we were told he was going to a holding prison, and they would arrange for him to call us that night, but we have heard nothing. I know it's only three days but it feels like three weeks. All we want to know is that he's okay. He already has our contact details etc as we were to told he was going to have a custodial sentence. This is all so new to us and to be honest we are totally distraught.
Sorry you find yourself here. My person (partner) is in prison and these first few days are though. But your son will be safe. Each prison is different but I can tell you want happened for my person.
When he arrived he was in seperate part of the prison specifically for people just coming in. He was there for a few days. He was then moved onto the VP (Vulnerable Prisoner) wing. It took about 5 days before I heard from him. In this time I put a call into the Safer Custody Team because I was worried and I felt I needed to do something (we had a good idea of what prison he'd go to). They did go and see him and let him know I'd called.
Keep your phone close to you, as the the prison will call to check the number before they allow it to be added to their PIN (the system that allows them to make calls). As soon as you have his prison number you'll be able to do things like send money, write letters and emails. Emails are sent through Email a Prisoner website. Money can be sent online (although they are limited on what they can spend a week).
Regarding visits, each prison is different. When he first went in he was allowed 3 visits a month with max 3 people attending. When he became enhanced he was allowed 4 a month but this seems to have increased to 6. Our visits are 1 hour long but others have longer visits. My person has to book the visits, some prisons do it the other way round where visitors request visits.
They are eligible for Enhanced status after 12 weeks which brings some small additional benefits. VP wings are generally calm with most of the people being enhanced.
You may be able to send a clothes parcel to him within 28 days.
If you have any other questions please ask. It really is a horrible, helpless feeling, but he will be safe.
When he arrived he was in seperate part of the prison specifically for people just coming in. He was there for a few days. He was then moved onto the VP (Vulnerable Prisoner) wing. It took about 5 days before I heard from him. In this time I put a call into the Safer Custody Team because I was worried and I felt I needed to do something (we had a good idea of what prison he'd go to). They did go and see him and let him know I'd called.
Keep your phone close to you, as the the prison will call to check the number before they allow it to be added to their PIN (the system that allows them to make calls). As soon as you have his prison number you'll be able to do things like send money, write letters and emails. Emails are sent through Email a Prisoner website. Money can be sent online (although they are limited on what they can spend a week).
Regarding visits, each prison is different. When he first went in he was allowed 3 visits a month with max 3 people attending. When he became enhanced he was allowed 4 a month but this seems to have increased to 6. Our visits are 1 hour long but others have longer visits. My person has to book the visits, some prisons do it the other way round where visitors request visits.
They are eligible for Enhanced status after 12 weeks which brings some small additional benefits. VP wings are generally calm with most of the people being enhanced.
You may be able to send a clothes parcel to him within 28 days.
If you have any other questions please ask. It really is a horrible, helpless feeling, but he will be safe.
I totally understand. My husband went to prison 4 weeks ago and we were devastated and petrified. He's a really quiet guy and worried about how he'll cope.
So far he's been fine. He was on an induction wing for the first 2 weeks then moved to a shared cell. His solicitor told us prison is nothing scary like TV, the prison won't want trouble and are trained to spot anything brewing. I'm assuming your son will be placed on the V.P.U.( vulnerable prisoners unit) so he won't be on the main wing where it could be rowdy etc. He'll be with many other prisoners with similar offences.
Depending on the prison he will be sent to they have phones and tvs in their cells. Some have game consoles. They get 3 good meals a day. Some prisons have single cells, others have shared cells for 2 inmates who have been matched as a suitable cell mate for your son.
Of course it will be a huge adjustment for your son but it will be time to reflect on what went wrong in his life, why he committed this crime and what he wants his future to look like.
When you speak to your son on the phone or in the first visit make sure to tell him not to discuss his crime with any prisoner. Have a cover story ready. There is a hierarchy in all prisons and this offence is the lowest. The less people know the better. That includes all letters and emails...just don't discuss details of the crime.
So far he's been fine. He was on an induction wing for the first 2 weeks then moved to a shared cell. His solicitor told us prison is nothing scary like TV, the prison won't want trouble and are trained to spot anything brewing. I'm assuming your son will be placed on the V.P.U.( vulnerable prisoners unit) so he won't be on the main wing where it could be rowdy etc. He'll be with many other prisoners with similar offences.
Depending on the prison he will be sent to they have phones and tvs in their cells. Some have game consoles. They get 3 good meals a day. Some prisons have single cells, others have shared cells for 2 inmates who have been matched as a suitable cell mate for your son.
Of course it will be a huge adjustment for your son but it will be time to reflect on what went wrong in his life, why he committed this crime and what he wants his future to look like.
When you speak to your son on the phone or in the first visit make sure to tell him not to discuss his crime with any prisoner. Have a cover story ready. There is a hierarchy in all prisons and this offence is the lowest. The less people know the better. That includes all letters and emails...just don't discuss details of the crime.
Thank you so much for your replies so far, they are providing a little bit of comfort in what has been such a terrible few days.
No problem it's a very overwhelming time. If you have more questions just ask and we'll answer if we can. This forum has given people so much good advice and support. It's a lonely crime because you can't really talk to people. At least we are all in the same boat here but at different stages
Evening Johnny555
First off well done for reaching out on here we all know its not an easy thing to do but you are in the right place for help and support
These last few days will have been awful for you all, the not knowing where your son was moved to , and not been able to speak to him, the prison system can be so slow but he will be looked after, the prison should phone you to check who you are before your son can call you they have to approve the contract numbers first
My son is an offender he had been on remand and then sentenced in April he is know at an SO prison where he is safe
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone we are here to listen and help with advice and there are a few of us who's sons and partners are in prison x
First off well done for reaching out on here we all know its not an easy thing to do but you are in the right place for help and support
These last few days will have been awful for you all, the not knowing where your son was moved to , and not been able to speak to him, the prison system can be so slow but he will be looked after, the prison should phone you to check who you are before your son can call you they have to approve the contract numbers first
My son is an offender he had been on remand and then sentenced in April he is know at an SO prison where he is safe
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone we are here to listen and help with advice and there are a few of us who's sons and partners are in prison x
Thank you x
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Smile through tears (and everyone else) Thank you so much
Awww Johnny,
You wrote to me yesterday offering some kind words and as I was browsing the Forum I've just come across your post and really felt for you and your family, but try not to worry else you'll make yourself sick and depressed thinking the worse. Your son will slowly adapt to prison life but it's early days. You will need to maintain regular contact with him and give him some positive news. Just remember everything is slow and taking ages to sort out in prison, They depend on the guards, the world slows down there. My son was in prison during the strikes so 1st class letters took sometimes a week to get to him. If you can, ask your GP to prescribe you a low dose of anti depressant temporarily to take the edge away, you'll feel less anxious and you will cease crying because your son will need you to keep it together and trust me it helps a little too. Your number will be added to his safe list and you'll get his calls regularly soon once you know his prison number, visit gov.uk (Send money to a prisoner).
He will learn to cook extra food with a kettle, like boiled eggs and tins of beans.
I'm so sorry your son is going through this horrible phase in his life.
Somehow, as parents we get a sentence too but your son will adapt! He has to.
After a few weeks you will be able to send him one parcel every 6 months and you need to make sure you pack a useful content for him. You won't be allowed pillows or a quilt and no black trousers nor white t-shirts, these colours are reserved for guards' uniforms. No big brands.. He'd be happy to get a pair of flip flop or a pair of rubber clogs /crocs, showers can be very unhygienic, he'd appreciate any rubber sandals. Canvas shoes to hang out out of the cell, plimsoll type of shoes, a pair of plain trainers for the gym. Some mitts to wash/shower, a pair of jeans, track suit bottoms, t-shirts, Sweaters or light jumper, short, socks, trunks. You need his prison number to send him a parcel. Send it Through the post office with Parcel Force or similar delivery around £10 to £15 for a large size box. No food, no books, no mags and no stamps allowed in the parcel. I hope this helps..
You can ask me anything you need to know about the prison life, if I know the answer, I'll tell you what i know.
Take care
Skinny Latte xx
You wrote to me yesterday offering some kind words and as I was browsing the Forum I've just come across your post and really felt for you and your family, but try not to worry else you'll make yourself sick and depressed thinking the worse. Your son will slowly adapt to prison life but it's early days. You will need to maintain regular contact with him and give him some positive news. Just remember everything is slow and taking ages to sort out in prison, They depend on the guards, the world slows down there. My son was in prison during the strikes so 1st class letters took sometimes a week to get to him. If you can, ask your GP to prescribe you a low dose of anti depressant temporarily to take the edge away, you'll feel less anxious and you will cease crying because your son will need you to keep it together and trust me it helps a little too. Your number will be added to his safe list and you'll get his calls regularly soon once you know his prison number, visit gov.uk (Send money to a prisoner).
He will learn to cook extra food with a kettle, like boiled eggs and tins of beans.
I'm so sorry your son is going through this horrible phase in his life.
Somehow, as parents we get a sentence too but your son will adapt! He has to.
After a few weeks you will be able to send him one parcel every 6 months and you need to make sure you pack a useful content for him. You won't be allowed pillows or a quilt and no black trousers nor white t-shirts, these colours are reserved for guards' uniforms. No big brands.. He'd be happy to get a pair of flip flop or a pair of rubber clogs /crocs, showers can be very unhygienic, he'd appreciate any rubber sandals. Canvas shoes to hang out out of the cell, plimsoll type of shoes, a pair of plain trainers for the gym. Some mitts to wash/shower, a pair of jeans, track suit bottoms, t-shirts, Sweaters or light jumper, short, socks, trunks. You need his prison number to send him a parcel. Send it Through the post office with Parcel Force or similar delivery around £10 to £15 for a large size box. No food, no books, no mags and no stamps allowed in the parcel. I hope this helps..
You can ask me anything you need to know about the prison life, if I know the answer, I'll tell you what i know.
Take care
Skinny Latte xx
Hi Johnny - have you heard from your son yet or got any news?
Hi there. Thank you for asking.
no, we still haven't heard anything from the prison where he is. We know where he is, we also got his prison number yesterday (through the solicitor) we've contacted them on numerous occasions and they say there may be a backlog in verifying the numbers that he has. We just can't understand why it takes so long. All we are asking for is one phone call, so you can imagine the terrible stress that we are going through not knowing if he's okay or not.
On the website it says we should get one phone call from him after he arrives there. When we speak to them on the phone we are told that they (the staff) will call us back with information, but this only happened once.
just feel totally let down so far.
no, we still haven't heard anything from the prison where he is. We know where he is, we also got his prison number yesterday (through the solicitor) we've contacted them on numerous occasions and they say there may be a backlog in verifying the numbers that he has. We just can't understand why it takes so long. All we are asking for is one phone call, so you can imagine the terrible stress that we are going through not knowing if he's okay or not.
On the website it says we should get one phone call from him after he arrives there. When we speak to them on the phone we are told that they (the staff) will call us back with information, but this only happened once.
just feel totally let down so far.
Skinny latte and Smile...thank you x
That is so wrong, no wonder you are in a state! In prison there are so many delays but this is one verification (for yourself) then one call. They say family connection is so important too, I'd certainly continue to chase them up Johnny.....
My son (as I said) has been in 4 prisons and he called us within hours after arrival or the next day.
You could always contact Prisoner Families Helpline for advice - they are very good.
My son (as I said) has been in 4 prisons and he called us within hours after arrival or the next day.
You could always contact Prisoner Families Helpline for advice - they are very good.
I'm glad you know what prison he's in. Now you have his prison number you could send him and email or write him letter. Depending in how they access there emails he might not know to look - Some cell have the facility in their cell. You can also send him money.
My person didn't get his one call either. Its so disheartening when you think something will happen or should happen and it doesn't. Unfortunately my experience is prisons run on Prison Time which is much slower than our time and way beyond and out of line of what is expected. As Smile says family ties and connections are so important, you'd have thought they'd put extra effort into making sure these things happen especially for newbies into the system.
From my experiences, it takes a little while to get things set up but once they are they tick along okay. I hope you hear from him soon.
My person didn't get his one call either. Its so disheartening when you think something will happen or should happen and it doesn't. Unfortunately my experience is prisons run on Prison Time which is much slower than our time and way beyond and out of line of what is expected. As Smile says family ties and connections are so important, you'd have thought they'd put extra effort into making sure these things happen especially for newbies into the system.
From my experiences, it takes a little while to get things set up but once they are they tick along okay. I hope you hear from him soon.
My son has been on remand for 6 weeks. He had psychosis when he got arrested and is seriously ill. The courts wanted to send him to an MH unit, but there was none available, so they remanded him to prison. He is on the vulnerable unit. I only found out because I put a safeguard call out, and a nurse rang me back to say my son was very ill and was on suicide watch. It is 6 weeks later, and I still have not heard anything. I have rang everyone possible, even the prison Chaplain who went to check in on him today. He said he was very low and had been watched. They are stating he is still on suicide watch, is nonverbal now, and is still in deep psychosis. He has lost 3 stones in 7 weeks. I have only just been able to get money onto his canteen, but he is too ill to even use it. I have asked if there is anyone who can help him. I am just going around in circles..I feel like I am going insane. I can't function. My son was mentally ill when they arrested him; I don't even still know why or what he has been charged with, only what I have heard of his ex-girlfriend. He was too unwell to ple at crown court so the judge said he would be on remand for another eight months I don't think I can cope and I think my son will die from suicide if not taken to hospital.. it is torture.. absolute torture for all of us I need to post this in a new thread but don know how..please can you redirect it thank you
Hi Jac,
if you can get onto the main discussion and support page there will be a prompt for a new topic. I'll keep an eye on it today and if you haven't managed to do it by 4:30 I'll copy and paste your message from here for you xxx
if you can get onto the main discussion and support page there will be a prompt for a new topic. I'll keep an eye on it today and if you haven't managed to do it by 4:30 I'll copy and paste your message from here for you xxx