Scared confused and hurt
Notifications OFF
I've been with him nearly 5 years, we each have a child from a previous relationship, our kids act like siblings because they are although not legally.
I'm already traumatised from my past, he was my first healthy relationship finally living without abuse for the first time in my life, everything was fine until the knock.
He'd developed a porn addiction that he didn't open up about as he didn't want me to feel at fault, I have severe endometriosis along with a multitude of other physical health problems and healing from sexual abuse and trauma isn't easy.
He got sent illegal and immoral stuff and he promises he didn't search it out he was just on Kik and got sent it, but he shared it on which I don't think I'll ever understand.
He swears he isn't attracted to minors, he thinks it's the escalation of the porn addiction and feeling trapped and scared but I'm angry as he's seen me healing from trauma and being open it's not like he didn't know how to do it when I am the example.
My life fell apart, he's not allowed to be at home at all if my son is home, I can't talk to him without being overcome with sadness and anger at his decisions and mistakes.
Is forgiveness possible or am I holding onto nothing but pain, I can't handle any more trauma or pain I was healing and he was supposed to be a supporter never the cause!
Will I ever be able to look at him again? The thought of even kissing him makes me feel sick, I can't tell if I should get out while I still can or just wait it out and see what the police and SS say.
There were no warning signs even looking back now he did become more distant as this was happening but he's been around children his entire life, he's never even insulted me or the kids, he was never perfect of course but he was good to me and the children, he's never gone out of his way to be near kids or any of the other predator signs, I just don't understand why he would share this on and not just block and report it's easy and the obvious choice
I want to believe him, I know who he is and I can find the logic in this situation but I need the police to confirm everything before I can even consider if I'm staying or going, I just don't want to make the decision though.
Am I complicit if I stay with him?
I'm already traumatised from my past, he was my first healthy relationship finally living without abuse for the first time in my life, everything was fine until the knock.
He'd developed a porn addiction that he didn't open up about as he didn't want me to feel at fault, I have severe endometriosis along with a multitude of other physical health problems and healing from sexual abuse and trauma isn't easy.
He got sent illegal and immoral stuff and he promises he didn't search it out he was just on Kik and got sent it, but he shared it on which I don't think I'll ever understand.
He swears he isn't attracted to minors, he thinks it's the escalation of the porn addiction and feeling trapped and scared but I'm angry as he's seen me healing from trauma and being open it's not like he didn't know how to do it when I am the example.
My life fell apart, he's not allowed to be at home at all if my son is home, I can't talk to him without being overcome with sadness and anger at his decisions and mistakes.
Is forgiveness possible or am I holding onto nothing but pain, I can't handle any more trauma or pain I was healing and he was supposed to be a supporter never the cause!
Will I ever be able to look at him again? The thought of even kissing him makes me feel sick, I can't tell if I should get out while I still can or just wait it out and see what the police and SS say.
There were no warning signs even looking back now he did become more distant as this was happening but he's been around children his entire life, he's never even insulted me or the kids, he was never perfect of course but he was good to me and the children, he's never gone out of his way to be near kids or any of the other predator signs, I just don't understand why he would share this on and not just block and report it's easy and the obvious choice
I want to believe him, I know who he is and I can find the logic in this situation but I need the police to confirm everything before I can even consider if I'm staying or going, I just don't want to make the decision though.
Am I complicit if I stay with him?
Iamhurting
Firstly take a deep breath you have so much going on so your emotions will be all over the place
This journey in itself is traumatic never mind having to deal with what you have been through also
Have you anyone who you can reach out to for support? I would definitely speak to your GP you have to look after yourself first
Maybe contact the helpline they are non judgemental and can offer support also just talking can take some of the weight of your shoulders
My situation is not the same as it is my son who offended but there are plenty of lovely ladies here who also have children that will be able to offer some support
You are not alone in this journey and you do not have to make decisions as yet just be kind to yourself, there are definitely support groups that will benefit you and your children
There are some threads on here that have the names of these organisations who.you can contact
Hugs and strength sent xx
Firstly take a deep breath you have so much going on so your emotions will be all over the place
This journey in itself is traumatic never mind having to deal with what you have been through also
Have you anyone who you can reach out to for support? I would definitely speak to your GP you have to look after yourself first
Maybe contact the helpline they are non judgemental and can offer support also just talking can take some of the weight of your shoulders
My situation is not the same as it is my son who offended but there are plenty of lovely ladies here who also have children that will be able to offer some support
You are not alone in this journey and you do not have to make decisions as yet just be kind to yourself, there are definitely support groups that will benefit you and your children
There are some threads on here that have the names of these organisations who.you can contact
Hugs and strength sent xx
Iv been married to my husband nearly 10 years, we're 5 months now since the knock!! I also felt all the feelings your feeling, I was so confused and a mess. I also found out my husband had cheated on me with men, which shattered my already broken heart.
I didn't make any rush decisions as I didn't want to feel pressured into divorce or leaving him, I told him he has to tell me everything if there's any chance of us staying together.
he also has a porn addiction and been diagnosed with adhd since, he is getting help for this with doing all the course and even SAA groups.
It does get easier as time goes on, although I do still struggle with anxiety every time we get to the next step or when ss contact me. SS come but my SW was nice and has closed our case after 2 visits, the children have mentors at school to help then if needed.
I have found reading all the advice on here a big help of trying to work out what will happen next, currently my husband is RUI after being bailed twice, my husband also was on the app kik talking to another person and shared stuff, he also says he didn't search for it they were already on the app. I had no idea what this app even was, my husband said he used it to watch adult porn, and ended up talking with another guy with who he shared videos with, makes me feel sick!! He swears he has no Interest in children... I'm supporting him as we have 2 young children.
Iv seen so many using this app kik, I don't understand why this app is still even allowed to run.
I didn't make any rush decisions as I didn't want to feel pressured into divorce or leaving him, I told him he has to tell me everything if there's any chance of us staying together.
he also has a porn addiction and been diagnosed with adhd since, he is getting help for this with doing all the course and even SAA groups.
It does get easier as time goes on, although I do still struggle with anxiety every time we get to the next step or when ss contact me. SS come but my SW was nice and has closed our case after 2 visits, the children have mentors at school to help then if needed.
I have found reading all the advice on here a big help of trying to work out what will happen next, currently my husband is RUI after being bailed twice, my husband also was on the app kik talking to another person and shared stuff, he also says he didn't search for it they were already on the app. I had no idea what this app even was, my husband said he used it to watch adult porn, and ended up talking with another guy with who he shared videos with, makes me feel sick!! He swears he has no Interest in children... I'm supporting him as we have 2 young children.
Iv seen so many using this app kik, I don't understand why this app is still even allowed to run.