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The Time of Year The first of everything

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2385 posts

Posted Sun December 4, 2022 7:30pmReport post

Evening all x

As we are getting ready for one of the most emotional times of the year, well apart from Birthdays, anniversaries, the day of the knock, the first interview, the first day of the plea hearing, the first time in court and the outcome, for our loved ones, the first time we felt heartbreak, the first time we felt pain, the first time we felt empty, the first time we felt angry, the first time we felt empty, and yet we are all still here, we are stronger than we could ever imagine, our lives turned upside down, the first phone call, the first amount of tears, the first visit, the first long awaited hug, the first time he said I'm sorry, the first time he realized what he had done was wrong, the first time he realized they were victims ,

If we could only change this journey! But we cant,

We are all here through no fault of our own but we are all amazing people, no judgement just compassion and understanding in a place where none of us asked to be a part of but I am so grateful to be a part of

Xx

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Sun December 4, 2022 9:35pmReport post

These coming weeks mark anniversary of finding out about this while thing and him being charged. It will also mark the year count down to release.

This time last year, I thought I was enjoy the last couple of weeks before I started IVF. We were looking forward to Christmas and wondering whether next Christmas we'd be lucky enough to have a baby. Unbeknown to me my life was about to change in a completely different way. No response from him on messages and calls, gradually getting more and more concerned for his wellbeing and then getting the message from him to say we need to talk. I still to this day don't know how I managed to hold it together through festivities - I gradually broke over the next month. This whole year has been a daze and a roller-coaster. Picture are popping up as memories and I'm mixed with reminders of why I love him but such deep pain at what won't now be possible for us and anger at the pain he's caused.

It's about a year now until his release date and in some ways I'm really fortunate. The day he is released it will be almost 2 years to the date I found out about this whole thing, some people have been RUI or pending trial for much longer.

It's a hard time to year. The music that carries so much hope, the love and the smiles of happy people celebrating their life with loved ones - It's all very hard. I've put myself under no pressure this year to do anything other than take some time out over the Christmas period to relax and re energise. As soon as I took the pressure off, I've found myself taking joy and some excitement in the few things I commit to.



As you say, we walk this journey through no fault of our own. Having this place as a space to talk and share our journeys is so helpful.

Edited Sun December 4, 2022 9:36pm

Johnny555

Member since
March 2019

15 posts

Posted Sun December 4, 2022 10:06pmReport post

For me, and our family, our sons sentence has come at a time of year, early December, to warrant Christmas 2022 as being non existent. I don't want to send cards, presents, I don't want cards, presents, I don't want to hear Christmas music, I've even bought some CDs to play in the car so I don't hear any Christmas music ( it's an old car).

It's only early December bit I am already hearing "Happy Christmas", "Let's make this the best Christmas ever" and so many things like this.



No.



For me and my ex-wife, who I am so close to, this will be the worst Christmas ever. We don't even know if we will be able to see our son, it's only been a few days since he was sentenced and it is truly awful.

Johnny555

Member since
March 2019

15 posts

Posted Sun December 4, 2022 10:08pmReport post

UPset Mum...SAL I totally understand what you are saying. Thank you x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2538 posts

Posted Mon December 5, 2022 3:48amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Tue December 6, 2022 2:31am

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Mon December 5, 2022 7:49amReport post

Johnny, this hard for everyone but must be particularly hard for you. I'm thinking of you and I really hope in one way or another you hear from him very soon.

Smile, yes, I agree. Although I've had some very low days, I've also already had some ni e festive times. It's such a roller coaster. I had a lovely day yesterday with good friends, I'd put up some decorations and did some Christmas shopping, but for the first time in a while I woke up to the spam dunk of reality.