Struggling to cope
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OHs sentencing is coming up fast and I'm struggling to cope
I have constant anxiety and mild panic attacks, feeling overwhelmed in public places even my quiet office. I'm drinking too much to cope and have had to call in sick on more than one occasion as I've been so hungover, which makes me feel even worse from feeling so physically awful
I've had a lot of time off work already for this and I feel bad wanting even more, I have the whole week of his sentencing off, but I just want to go off work as of today and not leave the house until sentencing is over. I'm scared if it hits the press the people in my company will find out and won't be so understanding anymore of me having time off or working from home. We don't have any kids so no one is dependent on me, and none of my family live nearby. I feel alone and there's no consequences to the fact I'm drinking heavily or don't leave the house as no one knows. I just want to curl up under the duvet until it's all over
Is it normal for the weeks leading up to sentencing to be even harder than the initial weeks after the knock?
I have constant anxiety and mild panic attacks, feeling overwhelmed in public places even my quiet office. I'm drinking too much to cope and have had to call in sick on more than one occasion as I've been so hungover, which makes me feel even worse from feeling so physically awful
I've had a lot of time off work already for this and I feel bad wanting even more, I have the whole week of his sentencing off, but I just want to go off work as of today and not leave the house until sentencing is over. I'm scared if it hits the press the people in my company will find out and won't be so understanding anymore of me having time off or working from home. We don't have any kids so no one is dependent on me, and none of my family live nearby. I feel alone and there's no consequences to the fact I'm drinking heavily or don't leave the house as no one knows. I just want to curl up under the duvet until it's all over
Is it normal for the weeks leading up to sentencing to be even harder than the initial weeks after the knock?
I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. Please talk to your doctor. You can take a week of sick self certfied and of you need more they can give you a doctors note.
I created a bit of a back story and said I had a operation when the sentencing was happening and then said I was mentally struggling and took a further week off sick. I didn't tell them what the operation was for and I kept things fairly loose saying there wer "things I needed to process".
I'd hope people around you would be more compassionate if they were to find out. You've not committed the crime and regardless of what he's done you are going through something very traumatic - Having someone ripped from your life and put into prison is HUGE.
Please talk to the doctor so you have some space to process. They might also be able to help with other things such as tablets and therapy. I've been thinking of going back to get some more general help. I've come to terms with the crime but I suffer with anxiety and I just don't seem to be able to concentrate well - I'm not performing.
I created a bit of a back story and said I had a operation when the sentencing was happening and then said I was mentally struggling and took a further week off sick. I didn't tell them what the operation was for and I kept things fairly loose saying there wer "things I needed to process".
I'd hope people around you would be more compassionate if they were to find out. You've not committed the crime and regardless of what he's done you are going through something very traumatic - Having someone ripped from your life and put into prison is HUGE.
Please talk to the doctor so you have some space to process. They might also be able to help with other things such as tablets and therapy. I've been thinking of going back to get some more general help. I've come to terms with the crime but I suffer with anxiety and I just don't seem to be able to concentrate well - I'm not performing.
Dear Lucy22,
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. We are here for you Lucy22, we can try to comfort you in this very difficult time by leaving you some compassionate messages.
Words are powerful but you have your own inner strength, you just need to reach it in you, we are all fighters when we must find it in us so we don't sink deeper and deeper in the hurricane ???? Try not to think of the worse immediately. Not all stories get found out in the press. Don't worry about it now, if it comes out, you'll deal with it when it's out. You need to make sure you only worry or deal with what need sorting out now.
Feeling the way you feel is part of the process. I contacted my GP and told her that I couldn't cope, she signed me off 3 months so I could deal with the process with my son and the court back in May. I searched the net for books and found an online Prison Guide from an ex prisoner whom turned his life around for £3.50 and this guide prepares you to incarceration. Take each day as it comes.
Take care of yourself Lucy22 x
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. We are here for you Lucy22, we can try to comfort you in this very difficult time by leaving you some compassionate messages.
Words are powerful but you have your own inner strength, you just need to reach it in you, we are all fighters when we must find it in us so we don't sink deeper and deeper in the hurricane ???? Try not to think of the worse immediately. Not all stories get found out in the press. Don't worry about it now, if it comes out, you'll deal with it when it's out. You need to make sure you only worry or deal with what need sorting out now.
Feeling the way you feel is part of the process. I contacted my GP and told her that I couldn't cope, she signed me off 3 months so I could deal with the process with my son and the court back in May. I searched the net for books and found an online Prison Guide from an ex prisoner whom turned his life around for £3.50 and this guide prepares you to incarceration. Take each day as it comes.
Take care of yourself Lucy22 x
As already mentioned seek GP help as they could recommend support and work with you to prevent the drinking getting worse.
Your person should use this time to get their affairs in order such as agree the finances and know what to pack for the day. And a list of numbers they want for phone calls.
Try to not dwell on the what is when it comes to the media, might be worth locking down your social media if not done so already.
The build up to sentencing is hard. I was working away full time at the time and just said I needed flexibility due to personal reasons I wasn't comfortable sharing. A doctor note would help.
For anxiety I didn't have the money for specialist help so the GP put me on a general CBT course which helped. As it gives me the tools to not over think and limit paranoia.
I found after sentencing as a relief, as it is all laid out what the next stage is. For my partner it was suspended sentence with SHPO and SOR for ten years.
Your person should use this time to get their affairs in order such as agree the finances and know what to pack for the day. And a list of numbers they want for phone calls.
Try to not dwell on the what is when it comes to the media, might be worth locking down your social media if not done so already.
The build up to sentencing is hard. I was working away full time at the time and just said I needed flexibility due to personal reasons I wasn't comfortable sharing. A doctor note would help.
For anxiety I didn't have the money for specialist help so the GP put me on a general CBT course which helped. As it gives me the tools to not over think and limit paranoia.
I found after sentencing as a relief, as it is all laid out what the next stage is. For my partner it was suspended sentence with SHPO and SOR for ten years.
As already mentioned seek GP help as they could recommend support and work with you to prevent the drinking getting worse.
Your person should use this time to get their affairs in order such as agree the finances and know what to pack for the day. And a list of numbers they want for phone calls.
Try to not dwell on the what is when it comes to the media, might be worth locking down your social media if not done so already.
The build up to sentencing is hard. I was working away full time at the time and just said I needed flexibility due to personal reasons I wasn't comfortable sharing. A doctor note would help.
For anxiety I didn't have the money for specialist help so the GP put me on a general CBT course which helped. As it gives me the tools to not over think and limit paranoia.
I found after sentencing as a relief, as it is all laid out what the next stage is. For my partner it was suspended sentence with SHPO and SOR for ten years.
Your person should use this time to get their affairs in order such as agree the finances and know what to pack for the day. And a list of numbers they want for phone calls.
Try to not dwell on the what is when it comes to the media, might be worth locking down your social media if not done so already.
The build up to sentencing is hard. I was working away full time at the time and just said I needed flexibility due to personal reasons I wasn't comfortable sharing. A doctor note would help.
For anxiety I didn't have the money for specialist help so the GP put me on a general CBT course which helped. As it gives me the tools to not over think and limit paranoia.
I found after sentencing as a relief, as it is all laid out what the next stage is. For my partner it was suspended sentence with SHPO and SOR for ten years.
Thank you everyone for your replies. I appreciate your kind words of support! It truly helps to make me feel less alone going through this. Once sentencing is over I'll try and force myself to make that first step to getting counselling or therapy. My work know he was arrested but not what for, I think they're under the impression that his arrest is a big misunderstanding and when I say it should be over by the new year they think I mean over in the good way. They don't even know he has been remanded in prison. I hope I have the strength to carry on fighting, it just feels like a losing battle. I have the Prison Guide too! It was helpful to read. I just hope the after sentencing feels like a relief. I'm dreading hearing the crime described by people in black and white terms when they don't see my OH in the loving way I see him