First SS visit. Advice please.
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So, the dreaded Social Worker is visiting tomorrow, my children are aware and I've told them that she will want to ask them questions.
I am so scared of saying the wrong thing, not that I want to mislead them, I'll be 100% honest to the best of my ability, but I truly believe this is all a terrible mistake made by my husband and that he's no risk to our children or any others. I guess I shouldn't say this to the SW, because I don't want them to believe I'd put my kids at risk for the sake of healing my marriage, nothing will ever come before their welfare. Can anyone tell me what to expect from this visit and how to tackle this? It's so beyond anything I've ever had to deal with before.
I am so scared of saying the wrong thing, not that I want to mislead them, I'll be 100% honest to the best of my ability, but I truly believe this is all a terrible mistake made by my husband and that he's no risk to our children or any others. I guess I shouldn't say this to the SW, because I don't want them to believe I'd put my kids at risk for the sake of healing my marriage, nothing will ever come before their welfare. Can anyone tell me what to expect from this visit and how to tackle this? It's so beyond anything I've ever had to deal with before.
The actual visit was ok, but the thought of it was horrid. SW wanted to know that I was fully aware of what OH had done and that the kids had some understanding of it.
OH had already moved out and was not given any unsupervised access at this point and this is how things have remained. I supervise all access. Other people are able to but have to speak to SW first.
Try not to be defensive, try not to minimise what husband has done
Good luck x
OH had already moved out and was not given any unsupervised access at this point and this is how things have remained. I supervise all access. Other people are able to but have to speak to SW first.
Try not to be defensive, try not to minimise what husband has done
Good luck x
Try not to worry too much, I was filled with so much anxiety waiting for my first visit but it wasn't as bad as I thought.
My SW spoke with me on my own then my children after, she also had to look in their bedrooms. I made sure she knew my children were my Priority and that I didn't want to make any rush decisions with my husband and I want to see all the evidence first. She said it was clear my children love and miss their dad and they were happy children and it was important to get visits arranged but supervised.
we only saw her twice before she closed out case and referred us to early help support.
I did get annoyed after the second visit as when she was on her own with my children (9,11) she told them what he had done in certain words and never informed me she was going to or tell me after she had. It was only when we were on FaceTime to dad that my youngest asked him, I quickly changed the conversation and she was so upset thinking she had done something wrong.
My SW spoke with me on my own then my children after, she also had to look in their bedrooms. I made sure she knew my children were my Priority and that I didn't want to make any rush decisions with my husband and I want to see all the evidence first. She said it was clear my children love and miss their dad and they were happy children and it was important to get visits arranged but supervised.
we only saw her twice before she closed out case and referred us to early help support.
I did get annoyed after the second visit as when she was on her own with my children (9,11) she told them what he had done in certain words and never informed me she was going to or tell me after she had. It was only when we were on FaceTime to dad that my youngest asked him, I quickly changed the conversation and she was so upset thinking she had done something wrong.
Thank you so much for replying, both of you. You wonderful people on here all give me so much hope. This whole forum has been invaluable to me this past hellish eight days.
My boys' (8 and 11) social worker has been lovely and supportive from the beginning, I hope yours is too. I agree not to say that you don't think he's a risk. Try and reframe it, you don't have to say he is a risk but say you understand why they have to be cautious and act as if there is a risk, tell them the most important thing to you is safeguarding your children and that you'll do whatever is needed.
My SW asked what I'd told the children and was willing to use the same wording etc. I told them that the police had arrested daddy because they thought he'd been looking at things he shouldn't on the internet, and that the investigation was going to take a long time and daddy wasn't allowed home while it was being investigated. I had to tell them something because they were there when we had the knock, and knew the police had taken him away. She was happy with the explanation and used the same. She talked to me for quite a long time and then the boys just briefly at the first appointment. She was sympathetic and not judgemental. I agreed to supervised contact only by him with the children and we talked through who was suitable and willing from the family to do it, police had already told me he wouldn't be allowed unsupervised contact. Overall I didn't find it as bad as I thought it would be. Hope it goes well
Our first social worker was a bully:
said things like "you probably don't know everything" "your partner probably has lied to you" "how can you protect them if you stay with a man who lies to you"
it caused so much stress
we got stepped down but only cos I agreed to seperate. You don't have to and always do what's right for you.
said things like "you probably don't know everything" "your partner probably has lied to you" "how can you protect them if you stay with a man who lies to you"
it caused so much stress
we got stepped down but only cos I agreed to seperate. You don't have to and always do what's right for you.
I absolutely dreaded my first SS visit but she was actually very nice. I found it important to come across that I wasn't naieve to the situation. I had already left my family home and seperated from my partner so the social worker visited twice and left me alone after that.