Betrayed
Notifications OFF
So I posted before about my partner being convicted of sexual comms & 2 image cat A & cat C.
We have a child aged 11 and still in family home SS involved etc etc.
It's been hell and I'm under so much pressure from SS and constant intrusion and judgement it's making me really ill.
Partner is half way through Lucy Faithful course also seeing private counselor yet despite this I found messages on his phone that he has been chatting to a number of girls online (all over 18) but these were sexual conversations, suggestive conversations and a huge betrayal.
We are both due to have our risk assessments done in a few weeks. I have decided to end the relationship and myself and my child will leave the family home as soon as is practical (I have no income atm and benefit income will barely cover rent).
SS are intent on continuing with the risk assessments. Do I need to continue with these? I just want them and him out of lives and I want to rebuild my life.
After all the support I have given him, my entire life being put under a spotlight and me living in a pressure cooker for the past 6 months he betrays me and his child like this I'm done. I don't think he can be helped and I need out.
I just don't understand why SS are still pushing the assessments. When we leave we will be leaving the country anc returning to England my partner intends to stay here so realistically there will be no contact due to logistics and I'm not prepared to supervise any contact going forward.
any advice or words of encouragement gratefully received I feel broken right now
We have a child aged 11 and still in family home SS involved etc etc.
It's been hell and I'm under so much pressure from SS and constant intrusion and judgement it's making me really ill.
Partner is half way through Lucy Faithful course also seeing private counselor yet despite this I found messages on his phone that he has been chatting to a number of girls online (all over 18) but these were sexual conversations, suggestive conversations and a huge betrayal.
We are both due to have our risk assessments done in a few weeks. I have decided to end the relationship and myself and my child will leave the family home as soon as is practical (I have no income atm and benefit income will barely cover rent).
SS are intent on continuing with the risk assessments. Do I need to continue with these? I just want them and him out of lives and I want to rebuild my life.
After all the support I have given him, my entire life being put under a spotlight and me living in a pressure cooker for the past 6 months he betrays me and his child like this I'm done. I don't think he can be helped and I need out.
I just don't understand why SS are still pushing the assessments. When we leave we will be leaving the country anc returning to England my partner intends to stay here so realistically there will be no contact due to logistics and I'm not prepared to supervise any contact going forward.
any advice or words of encouragement gratefully received I feel broken right now
Hi Stephanie,
I don't have much advice I'm afraid. I would imagine that ss want to do their assessments as you're still living together for the time being. I'm so sorry that you're in this position, especially after standing by him as you have. It may be worth speaking to him about sex addicts groups, I believe they are listed based on locations. You will get through this and have that fresh start. If you have family links to England look at applying to their local council for housing. Sending love xxx
I don't have much advice I'm afraid. I would imagine that ss want to do their assessments as you're still living together for the time being. I'm so sorry that you're in this position, especially after standing by him as you have. It may be worth speaking to him about sex addicts groups, I believe they are listed based on locations. You will get through this and have that fresh start. If you have family links to England look at applying to their local council for housing. Sending love xxx
Hi Stephanie,
I just wanted to say I'm sorry to read that your partner has betrayed you despite the ongoing support they have. It really is quite senseless (to put it politely).
I cannot offer any advice re: social services but you are incredibly strong to walk away and I wish you all the best in your future. You deserve much better. Sending a big hug! X
I just wanted to say I'm sorry to read that your partner has betrayed you despite the ongoing support they have. It really is quite senseless (to put it politely).
I cannot offer any advice re: social services but you are incredibly strong to walk away and I wish you all the best in your future. You deserve much better. Sending a big hug! X
All I can say is do what's right for you and your child. He doesn't deserve any more support from you. Move on and let him sort himself out.... how dare he treat you like that. You are worth so much more. Go girl!!!
Post deleted
I second what daffodil says. Use ss to get a new place and support systems they are 'suppose' to have in place for mothers in impossible situations., you're a strong lady and I'm so so sorry he betrayed you again. This is one of my biggest fears with myh person too I'd walk straight away too, least you k ow now and you're mibds made up. It will take a long time but take all the help you can and I k ow you'll have a good future with your child xx
So so sorry to hear this after the support you've given your partner. I don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone and people are always here to listen to when you need it.
Stephanie; it's so so cruel what your partner is putting you through again.
I wish there was a quick-fix answer to this but there isn't unfortunately. Also, no matter what we here or anyone else tells you, it ultimately is your life and your decision what you choose to do. No one will judge you. You've done more than most would be prepared to do for your partner but sadly he hasn't realised your worth.
Do what is best for you and your child. Put yourselves first and everything else will fall into place. This isn't your mess.
Wishing you all the best. X
I wish there was a quick-fix answer to this but there isn't unfortunately. Also, no matter what we here or anyone else tells you, it ultimately is your life and your decision what you choose to do. No one will judge you. You've done more than most would be prepared to do for your partner but sadly he hasn't realised your worth.
Do what is best for you and your child. Put yourselves first and everything else will fall into place. This isn't your mess.
Wishing you all the best. X